All Around Me - SPN
Rating: PG
Pairings: Dean/Cas friendship, preslash if you squint
Warnings: none
Summary:Dean is still worried about what Famine said about his soul, and his troubling dreams about Hell don't help... but maybe Castiel can. Inspired by the song All Around Me by Flyleaf.
(Hell. Hell is where I am. Where I've been for forty years. Or is it only four months? I can't tell because the days don't change and there's no sun and no way to tell time. It just feels like forever and I can't take it anymore because I have to tear apart these poor souls and even though they probably deserve it, I can't help but feel bad for doing it and the guilt is crushing me but then there's a bright light and a warm and loving presence and I'm just reachingreachingreaching for it because I want it near me so bad and my arms are stretched as far as possible and my hands are just searching and then there it is on my fingertips and there is a long prayer of happiness waiting to be shoutedsung and there is a beautiful warm fire rising through my core and I have to open my eyes to look at you and you're so bright and beautiful and I might be crying and I can't even look at you anymore because you're too much goodnessbeautypurity and I'm all badevildirty and I hear you whisper that I am preciouswonderfullovedSAVED and you take me away from Hell (darkdarkhotterribleHELL) and then-)
Dean starts into wakefulness, panting and sweating. He can't be sure why he's so afraid and relieved all at once. His blood is racing through his veins, his heart beating wildly in his chest.
"Are you alright, Dean?" a raspy voice asks, "You woke rather suddenly, and you seem disturbed."
The hunter looks to the angel sitting on the edge of the bed. Castiel waits for a response before saying, "You had a nightmare… about Hell. I could… sense your discomfort. Would you like to talk about it?"
"I can't really explain it, Cas. It wasn't really a nightmare… but it wasn't a good dream… I dunno… I think… I think it was about you saving me from Hell. And I mean that part was good. But-"
"We should talk about this later, Dean, when you are more awake and able to think more clearly. You should sleep now."
"Will you stay?" the human asks quietly, "It's not so bad when you're here."
"Yes."
It is then that the angel extends his two fingers and sends Dean off to a dreamless sleep. All Dean remembers is being surrounded by a warm grace that could only be coming from Castiel. He wakes more slowly the next morning to find the angel seated next to him on the bed, propped up against a pillow and carefully watching the hunter. His vivid blue eyes betray the relief he obviously feels at the hunter waking peacefully. For once, Dean chooses not to make a comment about personal space.
"Did my presence help?" Castiel asks bluntly, "I stayed here the whole night. Sam just left to get breakfast."
"Yeah, Cas, it did… thanks."
"Will you tell me about your dream now?"
Dean swallows and lays back down, looking up at Castiel from his pillow. He swallows again before saying, "Well… it started off bad. I was… I was in the Pit, torturing people, and I can remember that my mind was just goin' a mile a minute. I could barely keep focused on anything, which, in all honesty, was probably best. Then… there was this nice, warm feeling, something I hadn't felt the whole time I'd been in Hell, and… and it was you. It was you coming to save me and…" he licks his lips anxiously and whispers, "You were just so… beautiful, Cas."
Castiel looks away and murmurs, "Thank you, Dean."
The angel seems shy and embarrassed at being called beautiful, averting his eyes with a soft smile that Dean can just barely see. Despite the fact that it's almost endearing, Dean must ask him, "Why did you save me, Cas?"
A flush creeps up the angel's face as he responds, "It was my destiny and duty… and my privilege. I had watched you for some time beforehand because I knew the day would come. It was how I knew your form, your soul. I… It is the best thing I have ever done, Dean."
"So you pulled my soul from Hell?"
"Yes."
"Then Famine was really wrong?"
"Yes."
Dean's lip trembles, and Castiel goes on to say, "I pulled it from Hell and put it back where it belongs, in your body. I would never lie to you about anything as important as your soul. Listen… in Hell, it is difficult to find a single soul, even when you know who you are looking for, but not yours. Your soul shone out like a beacon, drawing me in. It was the only good thing in that place. To me… you were the beautiful one. You still are. You, Dean Winchester, are one of the most precious creations in the world, the most precious to me."
Dean begins to cry in earnest now, from sheer joy more than anything, and he reaches up in an attempt to grab hold of the angel. Castiel slides down to lay beside Dean, wrapping his arms around him and gently stroking his hair and the side of his face. Their foreheads are pressed together, and Castiel whispers, "I love you, Dean. Never forget that I love you," while trying to comfort the weeping human. Dean becomes hyperaware of what Castiel was doing, could feel him so near. It is difficult to breathe with the combination of crying and the closeness of the angel. Eventually, Castiel takes one of Dean's hand in his free one. Dean whispers, "Promise you won't ever leave, Cas. Promise you'll never leave me," and begins shaking against the angel who replies, "I promise you that, Dean, I promise," with a murmur. The hunter is surrounded immediately by something warm and beautiful and comforting and soft, and it can only be the angel's wings. His heart begins to feel a little less heavy and a little more whole, almost like it was being healed right then and there… and he's fairly sure that it is exactly what Castiel intended to do.
I can feel you
All Around Me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding onto what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing
Pairings: Dean/Cas friendship, preslash if you squint
Warnings: none
Summary:Dean is still worried about what Famine said about his soul, and his troubling dreams about Hell don't help... but maybe Castiel can. Inspired by the song All Around Me by Flyleaf.
(Hell. Hell is where I am. Where I've been for forty years. Or is it only four months? I can't tell because the days don't change and there's no sun and no way to tell time. It just feels like forever and I can't take it anymore because I have to tear apart these poor souls and even though they probably deserve it, I can't help but feel bad for doing it and the guilt is crushing me but then there's a bright light and a warm and loving presence and I'm just reachingreachingreaching for it because I want it near me so bad and my arms are stretched as far as possible and my hands are just searching and then there it is on my fingertips and there is a long prayer of happiness waiting to be shoutedsung and there is a beautiful warm fire rising through my core and I have to open my eyes to look at you and you're so bright and beautiful and I might be crying and I can't even look at you anymore because you're too much goodnessbeautypurity and I'm all badevildirty and I hear you whisper that I am preciouswonderfullovedSAVED and you take me away from Hell (darkdarkhotterribleHELL) and then-)
Dean starts into wakefulness, panting and sweating. He can't be sure why he's so afraid and relieved all at once. His blood is racing through his veins, his heart beating wildly in his chest.
"Are you alright, Dean?" a raspy voice asks, "You woke rather suddenly, and you seem disturbed."
The hunter looks to the angel sitting on the edge of the bed. Castiel waits for a response before saying, "You had a nightmare… about Hell. I could… sense your discomfort. Would you like to talk about it?"
"I can't really explain it, Cas. It wasn't really a nightmare… but it wasn't a good dream… I dunno… I think… I think it was about you saving me from Hell. And I mean that part was good. But-"
"We should talk about this later, Dean, when you are more awake and able to think more clearly. You should sleep now."
"Will you stay?" the human asks quietly, "It's not so bad when you're here."
"Yes."
It is then that the angel extends his two fingers and sends Dean off to a dreamless sleep. All Dean remembers is being surrounded by a warm grace that could only be coming from Castiel. He wakes more slowly the next morning to find the angel seated next to him on the bed, propped up against a pillow and carefully watching the hunter. His vivid blue eyes betray the relief he obviously feels at the hunter waking peacefully. For once, Dean chooses not to make a comment about personal space.
"Did my presence help?" Castiel asks bluntly, "I stayed here the whole night. Sam just left to get breakfast."
"Yeah, Cas, it did… thanks."
"Will you tell me about your dream now?"
Dean swallows and lays back down, looking up at Castiel from his pillow. He swallows again before saying, "Well… it started off bad. I was… I was in the Pit, torturing people, and I can remember that my mind was just goin' a mile a minute. I could barely keep focused on anything, which, in all honesty, was probably best. Then… there was this nice, warm feeling, something I hadn't felt the whole time I'd been in Hell, and… and it was you. It was you coming to save me and…" he licks his lips anxiously and whispers, "You were just so… beautiful, Cas."
Castiel looks away and murmurs, "Thank you, Dean."
The angel seems shy and embarrassed at being called beautiful, averting his eyes with a soft smile that Dean can just barely see. Despite the fact that it's almost endearing, Dean must ask him, "Why did you save me, Cas?"
A flush creeps up the angel's face as he responds, "It was my destiny and duty… and my privilege. I had watched you for some time beforehand because I knew the day would come. It was how I knew your form, your soul. I… It is the best thing I have ever done, Dean."
"So you pulled my soul from Hell?"
"Yes."
"Then Famine was really wrong?"
"Yes."
Dean's lip trembles, and Castiel goes on to say, "I pulled it from Hell and put it back where it belongs, in your body. I would never lie to you about anything as important as your soul. Listen… in Hell, it is difficult to find a single soul, even when you know who you are looking for, but not yours. Your soul shone out like a beacon, drawing me in. It was the only good thing in that place. To me… you were the beautiful one. You still are. You, Dean Winchester, are one of the most precious creations in the world, the most precious to me."
Dean begins to cry in earnest now, from sheer joy more than anything, and he reaches up in an attempt to grab hold of the angel. Castiel slides down to lay beside Dean, wrapping his arms around him and gently stroking his hair and the side of his face. Their foreheads are pressed together, and Castiel whispers, "I love you, Dean. Never forget that I love you," while trying to comfort the weeping human. Dean becomes hyperaware of what Castiel was doing, could feel him so near. It is difficult to breathe with the combination of crying and the closeness of the angel. Eventually, Castiel takes one of Dean's hand in his free one. Dean whispers, "Promise you won't ever leave, Cas. Promise you'll never leave me," and begins shaking against the angel who replies, "I promise you that, Dean, I promise," with a murmur. The hunter is surrounded immediately by something warm and beautiful and comforting and soft, and it can only be the angel's wings. His heart begins to feel a little less heavy and a little more whole, almost like it was being healed right then and there… and he's fairly sure that it is exactly what Castiel intended to do.
I can feel you
All Around Me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding onto what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing