i'm simply lost.
Well i feel like i'm on the line of losing everything, well maybe just my head. OAP was yesterday and... well... it was my very first so i took everything to heart.. while some people just didn't seem to care... which made me think.. how can you just not care when we all worked our ass off for some dumb judge who seemed like he was high set "rules" and not even follow them! whats the point in even making those rules? So i come home and bitch to my mother about it all and her response is SAT's are this saturday... FUCK THE SAT's!!!! it was like she didn't even listen to me... I honestly have no clue what i want to do.. yes i'm going college.. i just don't know if i need to jump into it b/c everyone else is? and thats what your suppose to do? i'm poor.. i don't have money to blow.. why can't i just find out for MYSELF what I want to do with MY Life.. not my mothers. I have a friend.. who is very very happy right now.. he is with a girl he has been dreaming about, he finally got a great job he loves and everything is great for him.. but he ignores me now, when i shared all his bad times, and when I was there when he almost went to jail, and when he didn't have a job, or when him and his mom were about to kill eachother, why doesn't he want me around when things are happy? why just when he needs advice or someone to bitch at? it really does hurt me. yep i'm losing it..