So far....
WEll... I havent written in a good while. THere have been some crazy things going on. Lets see where to start.... OHH YES!
I spent a weekend with vela..which was interesting. I was hoping we would get to talk and hang out more one on one...but it was fun either way. I got a little too drunk, scary drunk and it was all bad. I did some things I am pretty damn ashamed of, but you live and learn. I cant take things back. I just wish I hadnt put myself in that situation. Its ok though. I threw up for the first time after drinking. Im glad I was with Vela and Chris though. It was wierd because when i was really drunk in the morning she (vela) asked me if I wanted her to call anyone and I sat there for a while and finally said "serena..call serena". It took so long becuase i was contimplating having her call nicole. It was wierd. I feel god..that whole situation seems fucked up. So yeah it was fun with Vela. I think there is still some shit between us. But i think that in time things will work out.
So I finally got a job. SAFEWAY.COM BABY! Its cool. Its hard work but Im glad Im doing something. Its really hard because its taking me away from team sexy bitch and other people. I jsut get exhausted to talk or hang out. Like yeah its hard. I really miss serena and melanie! and DILLON!! I spelled it right lol. Yeah its cool. I like it because i dont have time to dwell on things that upset me. Like i dont have the time or engergy to worry about people who i dont need to worry about. Im just focusing on me. Its hard though...waking up at 3:45 am. BLAH!
This weekend it was my dads birthday. It was really hard seeing him so sick. He is going through kemo (sp?) and he is like losing his hair..and thats soo hard to see. See that was my dads thing. He always loved his hair. He wouldnt let anyone touch it and he was always combin it, then this weekend when i saw it..it was falling out in his hands. He looked like he was about to cry. It was really hard for me to deal with that. Plus his seeing in going and his legs are soo swollen it hurts to look at them. My step family as usual sucked fat cock ass. It was nice though for the first time I was getting attention from my family. My grandma kept telling me how beautiful i was and how much she missed me and my mom. My cousin jimmy is turning into an alcoholic. My brother's gf rocki got a new car (camero) its soo nice, white t-top. lol its made for me T-TOP! lol. It was nice spending time with my brothers and their girlfriends. I get really happy with that. I learned to drive a stick...well I attempted to drive a stick it was fun. lol.
Ok well I gotta go my mom is home. I have more to write but I gotta go.
CONTINUED:
Well my mom has been pretty nuts lately. She is like contstantly on my ass about anything and everything which doesnt make any sense since she was only on my ass about gettin a job and i have one...so there is no need for the bitching. I dont know why she is always calling me..and checking in. I get that she is lonely because its just her...no friends really...but im growing up and i cant always be here for her. I mean it seems harsh and prob. cold hearted but the longer i stay around the harder it will be for both of us later.
Things are still wierd with my best friend...feels even wierder to call her that. I dont know whats going on. It seems like we just arent friends anymore...and like we a reboth ok with that..which makes me sad because i miss her and the way things used to be. SHe is getting closer and closer to snaz...and that makes me soo angery..but there is nothing i can do about that. If they want to be close then so be it...I am no longer anyone to put in my opinion. I heard someone tried to slash her tires...so not cool..soo not cool...im not gonna to say that to her..but it is pretty fucked up. I dont think ill be able to forgive her...if only i could let go of things...But i cant...It still hurts to know that i cant trust snaz..maybe never could...and as for the best friend...still hurts to know that she took someone else's word over mine....i dont want it to hurt but its not...
WHats wierd is i hadnt thought about that in hella long....because ive been so busy. Ive been hanging out with gabby a good deal, that makes me happy. We are planning on going to school together in the spring. Im getting scared about moving..i dont know if i can do it...BLAH...ok well thats enough for now....ill write more lata lata
I spent a weekend with vela..which was interesting. I was hoping we would get to talk and hang out more one on one...but it was fun either way. I got a little too drunk, scary drunk and it was all bad. I did some things I am pretty damn ashamed of, but you live and learn. I cant take things back. I just wish I hadnt put myself in that situation. Its ok though. I threw up for the first time after drinking. Im glad I was with Vela and Chris though. It was wierd because when i was really drunk in the morning she (vela) asked me if I wanted her to call anyone and I sat there for a while and finally said "serena..call serena". It took so long becuase i was contimplating having her call nicole. It was wierd. I feel god..that whole situation seems fucked up. So yeah it was fun with Vela. I think there is still some shit between us. But i think that in time things will work out.
So I finally got a job. SAFEWAY.COM BABY! Its cool. Its hard work but Im glad Im doing something. Its really hard because its taking me away from team sexy bitch and other people. I jsut get exhausted to talk or hang out. Like yeah its hard. I really miss serena and melanie! and DILLON!! I spelled it right lol. Yeah its cool. I like it because i dont have time to dwell on things that upset me. Like i dont have the time or engergy to worry about people who i dont need to worry about. Im just focusing on me. Its hard though...waking up at 3:45 am. BLAH!
This weekend it was my dads birthday. It was really hard seeing him so sick. He is going through kemo (sp?) and he is like losing his hair..and thats soo hard to see. See that was my dads thing. He always loved his hair. He wouldnt let anyone touch it and he was always combin it, then this weekend when i saw it..it was falling out in his hands. He looked like he was about to cry. It was really hard for me to deal with that. Plus his seeing in going and his legs are soo swollen it hurts to look at them. My step family as usual sucked fat cock ass. It was nice though for the first time I was getting attention from my family. My grandma kept telling me how beautiful i was and how much she missed me and my mom. My cousin jimmy is turning into an alcoholic. My brother's gf rocki got a new car (camero) its soo nice, white t-top. lol its made for me T-TOP! lol. It was nice spending time with my brothers and their girlfriends. I get really happy with that. I learned to drive a stick...well I attempted to drive a stick it was fun. lol.
Ok well I gotta go my mom is home. I have more to write but I gotta go.
CONTINUED:
Well my mom has been pretty nuts lately. She is like contstantly on my ass about anything and everything which doesnt make any sense since she was only on my ass about gettin a job and i have one...so there is no need for the bitching. I dont know why she is always calling me..and checking in. I get that she is lonely because its just her...no friends really...but im growing up and i cant always be here for her. I mean it seems harsh and prob. cold hearted but the longer i stay around the harder it will be for both of us later.
Things are still wierd with my best friend...feels even wierder to call her that. I dont know whats going on. It seems like we just arent friends anymore...and like we a reboth ok with that..which makes me sad because i miss her and the way things used to be. SHe is getting closer and closer to snaz...and that makes me soo angery..but there is nothing i can do about that. If they want to be close then so be it...I am no longer anyone to put in my opinion. I heard someone tried to slash her tires...so not cool..soo not cool...im not gonna to say that to her..but it is pretty fucked up. I dont think ill be able to forgive her...if only i could let go of things...But i cant...It still hurts to know that i cant trust snaz..maybe never could...and as for the best friend...still hurts to know that she took someone else's word over mine....i dont want it to hurt but its not...
WHats wierd is i hadnt thought about that in hella long....because ive been so busy. Ive been hanging out with gabby a good deal, that makes me happy. We are planning on going to school together in the spring. Im getting scared about moving..i dont know if i can do it...BLAH...ok well thats enough for now....ill write more lata lata