LIfes full of surprises..........
I was given a choice to either by next summer when i turn 21 to either able to pay half of my rent or i can find another place for me to live and this was said by my sister. I thought we had everything under control but i guess not so it seems like i might be cramping my sisters life or stopping her from living hers. I have always thought of this yet even though she says no i know the truth and this choice she gave me just verifies what i have been expecting for a while now i might have to look for another place to live so i am going to see what i can do if i can get a better job here so i can pay half of the rent or if not i am going to have to look for another place for me to live. I have a few places already in mind if it comes down to it but even then it will take money for me to get there cause i am not going to stay in california fuck that i need to get my life together and if i couldnt do here whats the point on staying here. There are more places in the world to see and live and i plan to see where i can fit in cause i've had enough of the same shit that i deal with life has become better but now it seems like its falling apart so i have to stop trying to keep myself close to family cause that doesnt seem to be the way anymore. I left my dad to avoid problems and now i find myself two years later pondering if it comes to it that i will have to move once more and this is from my sisters home where i actually feel comfortable and safe oh fucking well it seems life is full of twists and you have to move with them. I am soo.... fucking tired of spending my energy trying to be something my sister and family think i am i need to find out who i am once and for fucking all i need to find my happiness and who knows if it lies here in cali or somewhere else. Well enough of my ranting that is fueled by my angry emotions because i will say something that will not be true and i dont want to bore anyone who reads this post........