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-Im Tired -Im Hungry -Im Mad -Im Sad -Im Bored -Im Lost -Im Lonely -I like him -Im fooish -Im sometimes too nice -Im confused - Im blah-
I don't want to feel sick. But I dont feel good. I dont want to feel sad. But I dont feel happy. I dont want to feel stupid. But i dont feel smart. I dont want to feel weak. But i cant feel strong.
I dont want to over think anymore. I think about way too much. I feel all wrong. I dont feel myself.
What is happy mean? I havent felt it in so long, I think ive forgotten what it was REALLY like. This Happiness I have now... Isnt happiness. Its something I replace real happiness with because I dont know how to feel.
I like Him.....a Lot. But maybe it is too soon. I don't want to mess anything up. He is such a good person.I want to ask him. But...How do I say it? How do i act? What do I say? I dont know. What if he says no? what if it doesnt work out? ugh!
I want to say how I feel but it probably isnt best. So i keep it to myself hoping soon it will pass over and everything will be fine...Normal. what is Normal anyway? its such a funny word. You know like one of those words that dont really have a real definition. Define Normal. Am I normal? I cant be. A "normal" person doesnt feel like this. They dont over-think like this.
Friends. Ha. Who needs them?...I do actually. I sometimes feel like they dont realize or understand how much I need them. More then ever right now. Things I guess are "normal" in the group. I dont think they care for me as much as i care for them. I dont think they realize how much they hurt me in a way. I dont think I should feel like a close friend...is also like my worst enemy. I shouldnt have to worry day and night if my friends are talking behind my back or not. Those arent friends. I have to watch what I say around my friends sometimes and wonder what they really think of something. Like if they are saying one thing but they dont really mean it. why cant we ALL be friends on the same daY? Like why cant She be friends with her, her, and me in one day, instead of her and only her for the day but tomorrow it will be someone different? Why do we have to compete with eachother? Someone always gets hurt in a competition. Why would you want to do that to your friend?
~ICantSayGoodbyeForever..ButI'llSayGoodbyeForNow~