(no subject)
isn't this awesome; i'm updating and it's not too long since my last one. go me.
what's new...
i was in sarnia since thursday and i just got home today. i was supposed to see tara today instead of leaving like i did, but i got all in pain and unhappy and just came home. i love my grannie to death, but sometimes she worries too much and it's tough to be alone there. here i can just go to my room to be alone. which seems to be all i want to do lately, unless i'm around my mom coz i love her. in fact, now i'm going to go on about that for awhile. you don't have to read this part. i'll even lj-cut it so you don't get distracted :). that's not to say that you can't read it, because if i really didn't want anyone to see it, i would be pretty stupid to post it online, wouldn't i? yes, i thought so.
ah, so my mom. for some reason she's a lot of what my thinking is about lately. how amazing, strong, loving, blah blah blah that she is. i'm not exactly one to type or talk about my feelings like this, but i've wanted to for awhile, i just haven't either had the courage or the motivation to do. tough to say which one.
anyways, i can't even put into words how much i love her. it's the most powerful feeling that i have ever felt, it makes me want to cry how strong it is. i feel so guilty for some of the things that i've put her through, and as much as i tell myself she's forgiven me and it's okay to make mistakes, i feel sick about all the i hate you's, and the you don't understand me's. i won't even begin to elaborate on the other terrible things that i've done to her. the amazing thing is that she's always stayed right there, telling me she loves me and no matter how much i say she doesn't understand me, she does more than anyone else in the world. i know that it's probably a motherly thing, but it still amazes me. she's my life. i don't know what i would do without her.
that's the end of that.
so what else is new. well, i called dr.ranger's office to find out if dr.carey had spoken to them as he had so said he would when i saw him. well, surprise, he hadn't. so i pestered his office to get on it, and they said he just had to sign the forms for them to fax, and that he would be back to do that on monday. figures he would be gone until then. oh well, what can be done.
i tried to call my dad tonight, at like 8:30 his time, but no luck. he must not be back yet. i'm somewhat angry at him because he said he would put $20 in my account on friday, that he wouldn't forget and even told kristen and jess to remind him. but there sure is no money in my account. it's not like i was in desperate need of it, it's just the fact that he said he would do it and he didn't. it wouldn't matter what it was.
anyways, speaking of money, when i was in sarnia, my grannie's friend nikki was there doing the cleaning, which is what she does every two weeks, and i was sleeping when she was about to leave at like 1pm (i know, i slept late. but i'd rather sleep than be awake coz sleep=no pain). anyways, i had mentioned that i wanted to meet her (she's done a lot for me, like giving me gifts and stuff since i was little, but i've never met her), and nikki didn't want to disturb me while i was sleeping, but my grannie came and woke me up anyways, which was good coz it was getting late. anyways, nikki said hi, and me in all my sleepyness said hello and yawned (hehe oops), at which point she had money rolled up for me (i thought it was $20 at first), and gave it to me and said to buy something that i wanted. i said thank you, she left. i got up and ready and such things, and i was about to put the money in my wallet, when i realized that it wasn't $20, but $20 x 3. i couldn't believe that this lady, who i just met, handed me $60. i thought it was so nice, i almost cried (what's wrong with me lately and all the tears??). but man.. i've never met anyone THAT nice ever.
okay, so that's about it. bye bye :)
p.s. eryn, we will do our movie night this week if you can, or on sunday, whatever is best for you. and sappy romantic wish-my-life-was-like-that movies sound awesome :D hehe.
what's new...
i was in sarnia since thursday and i just got home today. i was supposed to see tara today instead of leaving like i did, but i got all in pain and unhappy and just came home. i love my grannie to death, but sometimes she worries too much and it's tough to be alone there. here i can just go to my room to be alone. which seems to be all i want to do lately, unless i'm around my mom coz i love her. in fact, now i'm going to go on about that for awhile. you don't have to read this part. i'll even lj-cut it so you don't get distracted :). that's not to say that you can't read it, because if i really didn't want anyone to see it, i would be pretty stupid to post it online, wouldn't i? yes, i thought so.
ah, so my mom. for some reason she's a lot of what my thinking is about lately. how amazing, strong, loving, blah blah blah that she is. i'm not exactly one to type or talk about my feelings like this, but i've wanted to for awhile, i just haven't either had the courage or the motivation to do. tough to say which one.
anyways, i can't even put into words how much i love her. it's the most powerful feeling that i have ever felt, it makes me want to cry how strong it is. i feel so guilty for some of the things that i've put her through, and as much as i tell myself she's forgiven me and it's okay to make mistakes, i feel sick about all the i hate you's, and the you don't understand me's. i won't even begin to elaborate on the other terrible things that i've done to her. the amazing thing is that she's always stayed right there, telling me she loves me and no matter how much i say she doesn't understand me, she does more than anyone else in the world. i know that it's probably a motherly thing, but it still amazes me. she's my life. i don't know what i would do without her.
that's the end of that.
so what else is new. well, i called dr.ranger's office to find out if dr.carey had spoken to them as he had so said he would when i saw him. well, surprise, he hadn't. so i pestered his office to get on it, and they said he just had to sign the forms for them to fax, and that he would be back to do that on monday. figures he would be gone until then. oh well, what can be done.
i tried to call my dad tonight, at like 8:30 his time, but no luck. he must not be back yet. i'm somewhat angry at him because he said he would put $20 in my account on friday, that he wouldn't forget and even told kristen and jess to remind him. but there sure is no money in my account. it's not like i was in desperate need of it, it's just the fact that he said he would do it and he didn't. it wouldn't matter what it was.
anyways, speaking of money, when i was in sarnia, my grannie's friend nikki was there doing the cleaning, which is what she does every two weeks, and i was sleeping when she was about to leave at like 1pm (i know, i slept late. but i'd rather sleep than be awake coz sleep=no pain). anyways, i had mentioned that i wanted to meet her (she's done a lot for me, like giving me gifts and stuff since i was little, but i've never met her), and nikki didn't want to disturb me while i was sleeping, but my grannie came and woke me up anyways, which was good coz it was getting late. anyways, nikki said hi, and me in all my sleepyness said hello and yawned (hehe oops), at which point she had money rolled up for me (i thought it was $20 at first), and gave it to me and said to buy something that i wanted. i said thank you, she left. i got up and ready and such things, and i was about to put the money in my wallet, when i realized that it wasn't $20, but $20 x 3. i couldn't believe that this lady, who i just met, handed me $60. i thought it was so nice, i almost cried (what's wrong with me lately and all the tears??). but man.. i've never met anyone THAT nice ever.
okay, so that's about it. bye bye :)
p.s. eryn, we will do our movie night this week if you can, or on sunday, whatever is best for you. and sappy romantic wish-my-life-was-like-that movies sound awesome :D hehe.