Memoirs of an overly thoughtfull mind
Hmm so when was my last update? Christmas? Yup it was Christmas. What a boring ass day where I guess I only had time to complain. But you know what ever passes the time. Lately I've been having some really interesting conversations, Eye opening ones, with many different people. Although there have been many dull conversations as well. Do you guys realize that the topic of alcohol and pot can only go so far? And I’ve had that conversation one or actually about fifty times too much. I'm really getting irritated with how there’s almost no one who can hold a real conversation. So here’s what I decided, I'm not going to talk to people unless there is a real topic at hand. So if you feel that alcohol and pot are a real topic, we are defiantly not on the same page. Anybody wants to talk about quantum physics and the meaning of life, we're not only on the same page but we are defiantly reading the same book.
It has come to my attention that myspace is loosing its point. Whoring? Com'on people are you kidding me? I'll be your friend but you’re going to actually have to talk to me if you want to stay my friend. Most of the five hundred and something friends I have actually talk to me, Believe it or not. But a lot of them still don’t, I guess instead of complaining I should not be so lazy and actually delete some of them. For someone who frequents the site I sure do love to complain about it a lot. I think Tom should ban all whoring codes. Maybe the site he built would gain back its meaning. I go there and look for tattoo artist. It’s called networking, and I talk to people that’s called making friends. You know the little thing you fill out about yourself that says why your there? Yeah FYI there no choice of whoring. Do that on a street corner, cause I personally and along with many other people are quite sick of seeing the bulletins. I miss important ones all the time because five hundred other ones get in the way. So I guess when I'm done this I will perhaps go and delete maybe three hundred or so of my "friends" I will no longer be accepting anybody, well just anybody. You want to be my friend I'll give you a week to start talking to me but then you’re off, out of my friends. I do use a lot of them to promote my brothers band but after I'm done promoting them most of you are gone.
Moving on to other things. I ramble a lot. And I hope you all, as in the maybe six people that read this, realize that this is what goes through my head. There’s no forethought about this what so ever. I mean this is not the only things going on because if it were everything you would be reading a whole bunch of random compiled sentences that don’t make any sense. But I suppose that’s just me, someone who normally and naturally doesn’t make any sense. That’s a lie. I do most of the time even if it’s just me who actually gets what I'm saying. That’s apparently what you get out of useless conversations. I suppose all conversations are useless. All human contact is really if you look at it. We tell ourselves that we need human contact to keep sane but honestly, we only need it for one thing. Other than reproducing we can survive with out each other. When most people list the basic needs of life human contact is not in that category. I do enjoy people though so I should stop this thought. I actually hate most people. Well I don't hate them but my tolerance for them is very limited. I can go to parties and be in groups, but I guarantee you that after maybe an hour or so I'll just want to leave. Go be alone somewhere, maybe in a cool creepy dark castle on some ocean side cliff where no one can find me. My personality clashes with itself all too often. I love people but then I'll just want to be a hermit. I’m extremely outgoing but then I can be so reserved. Its actually amazes me how much people don't really know about me. It’s kind of like an on going inside joke with myself. Kind of like I know something you don't know. And then I'll laugh because you have no clue what goes on behind the lose doors of my mind. Then again there’s what other people are thinking too. You ever get scared because you don’t know what the person staring at you is thinking? I've a semi paranoid personality I guess. I like it though; it keeps me guessing and thinking.
I'm not really looking forward to new years. Yup that’s tomorrow. The last day of 2005. How weird is that? We only have today and tomorrow for this year. Where the hell did this year go? What the fuck? I kind of miss it. Sadly to tell you the truth I really regret a lot this year. And I never regret. Religious reasons mainly. But normally I look upon regret as something an unstable insecure person does all too much. But when it comes down to it were al really insecure and unstable to some degree. Which is sad, but hey, it keeps life interesting you know. So I have a question, who here wishes they could go back in time and watch. Just watch whatever, your family, Rome, Egypt, fire, the beginning. I want to go so far back that I could see the world coming together. I want to know if the big bang theory is right. Perhaps I would have to watch it in fast forward because a million years is a long time to sit around and watch. But god how interesting would that be? I want to se it so badly. For most they would think of the power of having that knowledge of knowing. But honestly I think if you came back and started trying to correct every history book with the proof being you saw it happen, society would curb stomp you.
Wow what is it with society. I want to look into that. Who decides what’s so great in society, what accepted and what’s not? Popular beliefs? Well whatever I guess I don't share popular beliefs. Really the whole answer to why we need such a sophisticated society eludes me. We got along fine way back when right? Maybe we should all smash our TVs, burn or material positions and go back to living in caves. Hunting for food and being the real carnal human we are. Haha I can just think of all your faces when you read this, if you get this far. Probably want to slap me for even thinking about this. But none of you want to talk about this in a real conversation so I guess I'll just talk to myself about it. I should give a cookie to whoever makes it this far. So if you read this tell me and I'll give you a cookie. It’s a real accomplishment if you have enough patients and tolerance to deal with all my thought like this at one time too. I actually was thinking that maybe I should just keep typing and seeing how much I can on here. Id probably have to categorize it as a book after a while. Maybe even after that last sentence. Hmm who the hell is going to read this far. If you do you deserve a hug for the stress of taking on my thoughts like this. I mean I've been dealing with them my whole life but hell they can be a lot. A lot less for you because this is only about a tenth of what I'm actually thinking about.
Really I've had this one on going thought over and over. Are you ever not able to get someone out of you head? I honestly don’t mind it. It's quite the comfort just knowing I know them and talk to them. They deserve a medal for being such and important person in my life, a real impact. God there hasn't been anybody like that since Shane. I'm furious with myself right now. The thought of them being maybe even better than Shane just pasted through my head. But I can't help but think everytime I talk to them, "you’re so intriguing and amazing, everything I want to be with." It's not love; love only comes to those who couldn’t do without the other. Perhaps it would be tragedy without them, but I would be able to live. As of now, I can't speak for the future. But every time I hear them or see them it grows harder and harder to not be around them. Maybe mind reading would come in handy here. I would defiantly love to jump into their thoughts, hopefully I'm already there. One can only wish, though it would be great to know. Maybe I am not supposed to know. Mystery is quite en endearing comfort to me. If by any chance you know who I'm talking of, and feel like commenting my memoirs, my book, then please don't share their identity. For some that mystery right there is all they want at the moment. And for other I guess will be misleading. I can think of two people right now that I now will think it’s them. But darling I'm sorry I'm here to tell you you’re only leading yourself on. And frankly I'm quite sick of your flirtatious remarks towards me. Obviously the half word answers back don’t give you the hint that I don’t care for you. Sorry babe I don't like you. Hurts doesn't it? Well this cold heart has dealt with it before and I'll tell you right now, you'll get over it, I did. I mean I got over you.
I do believe you can all breath easy now, I am done. My early morning thoughts after a night of no sleep are now over. Mainly for the reason of I have things to do, places to go, pieces of the world to see. SO heres to you for finishing this, I now officially owe you a cookie. Heres to signing off Heather style~*TOODLES*~
It has come to my attention that myspace is loosing its point. Whoring? Com'on people are you kidding me? I'll be your friend but you’re going to actually have to talk to me if you want to stay my friend. Most of the five hundred and something friends I have actually talk to me, Believe it or not. But a lot of them still don’t, I guess instead of complaining I should not be so lazy and actually delete some of them. For someone who frequents the site I sure do love to complain about it a lot. I think Tom should ban all whoring codes. Maybe the site he built would gain back its meaning. I go there and look for tattoo artist. It’s called networking, and I talk to people that’s called making friends. You know the little thing you fill out about yourself that says why your there? Yeah FYI there no choice of whoring. Do that on a street corner, cause I personally and along with many other people are quite sick of seeing the bulletins. I miss important ones all the time because five hundred other ones get in the way. So I guess when I'm done this I will perhaps go and delete maybe three hundred or so of my "friends" I will no longer be accepting anybody, well just anybody. You want to be my friend I'll give you a week to start talking to me but then you’re off, out of my friends. I do use a lot of them to promote my brothers band but after I'm done promoting them most of you are gone.
Moving on to other things. I ramble a lot. And I hope you all, as in the maybe six people that read this, realize that this is what goes through my head. There’s no forethought about this what so ever. I mean this is not the only things going on because if it were everything you would be reading a whole bunch of random compiled sentences that don’t make any sense. But I suppose that’s just me, someone who normally and naturally doesn’t make any sense. That’s a lie. I do most of the time even if it’s just me who actually gets what I'm saying. That’s apparently what you get out of useless conversations. I suppose all conversations are useless. All human contact is really if you look at it. We tell ourselves that we need human contact to keep sane but honestly, we only need it for one thing. Other than reproducing we can survive with out each other. When most people list the basic needs of life human contact is not in that category. I do enjoy people though so I should stop this thought. I actually hate most people. Well I don't hate them but my tolerance for them is very limited. I can go to parties and be in groups, but I guarantee you that after maybe an hour or so I'll just want to leave. Go be alone somewhere, maybe in a cool creepy dark castle on some ocean side cliff where no one can find me. My personality clashes with itself all too often. I love people but then I'll just want to be a hermit. I’m extremely outgoing but then I can be so reserved. Its actually amazes me how much people don't really know about me. It’s kind of like an on going inside joke with myself. Kind of like I know something you don't know. And then I'll laugh because you have no clue what goes on behind the lose doors of my mind. Then again there’s what other people are thinking too. You ever get scared because you don’t know what the person staring at you is thinking? I've a semi paranoid personality I guess. I like it though; it keeps me guessing and thinking.
I'm not really looking forward to new years. Yup that’s tomorrow. The last day of 2005. How weird is that? We only have today and tomorrow for this year. Where the hell did this year go? What the fuck? I kind of miss it. Sadly to tell you the truth I really regret a lot this year. And I never regret. Religious reasons mainly. But normally I look upon regret as something an unstable insecure person does all too much. But when it comes down to it were al really insecure and unstable to some degree. Which is sad, but hey, it keeps life interesting you know. So I have a question, who here wishes they could go back in time and watch. Just watch whatever, your family, Rome, Egypt, fire, the beginning. I want to go so far back that I could see the world coming together. I want to know if the big bang theory is right. Perhaps I would have to watch it in fast forward because a million years is a long time to sit around and watch. But god how interesting would that be? I want to se it so badly. For most they would think of the power of having that knowledge of knowing. But honestly I think if you came back and started trying to correct every history book with the proof being you saw it happen, society would curb stomp you.
Wow what is it with society. I want to look into that. Who decides what’s so great in society, what accepted and what’s not? Popular beliefs? Well whatever I guess I don't share popular beliefs. Really the whole answer to why we need such a sophisticated society eludes me. We got along fine way back when right? Maybe we should all smash our TVs, burn or material positions and go back to living in caves. Hunting for food and being the real carnal human we are. Haha I can just think of all your faces when you read this, if you get this far. Probably want to slap me for even thinking about this. But none of you want to talk about this in a real conversation so I guess I'll just talk to myself about it. I should give a cookie to whoever makes it this far. So if you read this tell me and I'll give you a cookie. It’s a real accomplishment if you have enough patients and tolerance to deal with all my thought like this at one time too. I actually was thinking that maybe I should just keep typing and seeing how much I can on here. Id probably have to categorize it as a book after a while. Maybe even after that last sentence. Hmm who the hell is going to read this far. If you do you deserve a hug for the stress of taking on my thoughts like this. I mean I've been dealing with them my whole life but hell they can be a lot. A lot less for you because this is only about a tenth of what I'm actually thinking about.
Really I've had this one on going thought over and over. Are you ever not able to get someone out of you head? I honestly don’t mind it. It's quite the comfort just knowing I know them and talk to them. They deserve a medal for being such and important person in my life, a real impact. God there hasn't been anybody like that since Shane. I'm furious with myself right now. The thought of them being maybe even better than Shane just pasted through my head. But I can't help but think everytime I talk to them, "you’re so intriguing and amazing, everything I want to be with." It's not love; love only comes to those who couldn’t do without the other. Perhaps it would be tragedy without them, but I would be able to live. As of now, I can't speak for the future. But every time I hear them or see them it grows harder and harder to not be around them. Maybe mind reading would come in handy here. I would defiantly love to jump into their thoughts, hopefully I'm already there. One can only wish, though it would be great to know. Maybe I am not supposed to know. Mystery is quite en endearing comfort to me. If by any chance you know who I'm talking of, and feel like commenting my memoirs, my book, then please don't share their identity. For some that mystery right there is all they want at the moment. And for other I guess will be misleading. I can think of two people right now that I now will think it’s them. But darling I'm sorry I'm here to tell you you’re only leading yourself on. And frankly I'm quite sick of your flirtatious remarks towards me. Obviously the half word answers back don’t give you the hint that I don’t care for you. Sorry babe I don't like you. Hurts doesn't it? Well this cold heart has dealt with it before and I'll tell you right now, you'll get over it, I did. I mean I got over you.
I do believe you can all breath easy now, I am done. My early morning thoughts after a night of no sleep are now over. Mainly for the reason of I have things to do, places to go, pieces of the world to see. SO heres to you for finishing this, I now officially owe you a cookie. Heres to signing off Heather style~*TOODLES*~