Friend J: and if you're ever about to die, I promise to buy you a foil wrapped cucumber
Xan: That is possibly the least comforting thing that anyone has ever said to me.
Friend J: fuck
Xan: Because when I'm DYING, I will NATURALLY want a foil wrapped cucumber.
Friend J: I think I just laughed so hard at that I may have woken my family
Xan: If
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