Inspired by Lecrae's "I Know"
I decided to take the link to this journal off my Facebook so people won't mistake me as doing some type of indirect commenting with my blogs.
The Lord knows exactly where to grow me. One thing I hate the most is whenever I hear people talk about me (I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way). I especially hate it when I was just speaking to that person and we part ways, thinking everything is cool, just to find out things aren't, finding that information out from other people. And Satan seems to always know how to get that info back to me to make me trip.
The funny thing about my current situation is the very same people I am trying to protect are the same ones talking badly about me. And what's different about this situation from past ones is now I have a husband who is also being talked badly about.
I guess if we deserve the things people are saying about us, it's easier to swallow being talked about. But it's a lot harder when your good intentions and grace are evil spoken of.
Well, anyway, I was going to blog about what the Lord has been teaching me in these trials (now that I am in the eye of the storm). (Whoa, check this out: I just accidentally deleted a few sentences I typed, so I clicked "paste" and this verse came out: "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13. How timely!).
Anyway, a few Sundays ago, I learned in my Christology class (I love that class) that, while modern psychology wants us to look in the past, even excavate it, to explain our circumstances, the Bible points us to Christ, to look at Him and see how we can glorify Him in our situation. That lesson has been a glorious eye-opener and a wonderful way to look at how to live life.
So first off, God knows that this definitely is my weakness: caring about what other people think/say about me. So the Lord is teaching me to keep my eyes on Him, to look upon Him and His approval. He is teaching me to trust Him. Every step of the way, I have meticulously bathed my decisions in searching the Scriptures and fervent prayer. I even looked up sermon topics that addressed my issues and all have pointed to doing things the way I have done them. I have to trust that God is leading. His Word affirmed it. That's all that matters. I will die of heartache and disappointment if I try to please everyone, even those whom I love. The Lord is really teaching me to put Him first, above all else. He is teaching me to exercise faith in that, as long as I obey Him, He will work everything out. Sometimes, I feel like I need to explain myself, defend myself, clear my name. But the Lord always tells me in my devotional readings: Be still, be silent: the Lord will fight for you. I am seeing another side to "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matt. 6:33). The grace God has richly blessed me with is the fact that my husband and I are fully united in everything that we've done: whether it is in action or in prayer. I know many married couples do not experience this so I recognize what a marvelous blessing it is to have a peaceful marriage in the midst of chaos.
The second lesson I am learning, which is connected to the first, is how to be truly free. Fretting about what others say about me makes me a slave to their thoughts. God is teaching me to let go, to not make such a big deal of others' opinion of me. Like Paul said in Philippians: I want to know Christ. Over and over again, Paul reminds us believers to have the mind of Christ, to be like Christ, to seek after Christ. My goal is to know what Christ thinks of me. I want to glorify Christ in my thoughts and actions. I want to be obsessed about what Christ thinks and says about me. Learning to be more focused on Christ naturally takes away my focus others' opinion of me. Therefore, I am freed from trying to please everyone. I am freed to please Him alone, my Creator, my God, my Savior and my Lord.
Thirdly, and this is the toughest one, this trial is teaching me to love those who speak ill of me. Like Jesus said, how impressive is it to love those who already love you? The real work comes in loving those who are hard to love (my paraphrase, of course). God has been teaching me to look through the lens of grace and mercy. How? By reminding me what my Jesus did for me. Every time I think of giving an eye for an eye, I think of the punishment I should have received, I think of the way God should have treated me. Then I look to the cross and see my Savior, the innocent One who received what I deserved that I may receive what He deserves. I guess this third lesson goes back to the first lesson. Looking unto Christ helps me love those who have hurt me, spoken evil of me, returned evil for good. Because that is what Jesus did for me.
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith: He really keeps me humble. How dare I even think of striking back when God has forever withheld His own hand from me. The answer to everything in life really is about Christ: it's all about Him. I can never match His goodness towards me. There is no amount of love I can pour on someone undeserving that will ever even come close to resembling the goodness God has poured on me through His Son, Jesus Christ.
For real, straight up: Nothing calms an angry, troubled heart like meditating on Christ. I want my life's conviction to mirror the life verse God has given me: "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him, even unto death." I pray that that verse will truly be embodied in my witness. I am not there yet but I do see God taking me to that goal, baby step by baby step.
He is my passion. He is my obsession. Christ is my major, my concentration, my life course, my pursuit. He is my everything. He alone is worthy of such affection.
The Lord knows exactly where to grow me. One thing I hate the most is whenever I hear people talk about me (I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way). I especially hate it when I was just speaking to that person and we part ways, thinking everything is cool, just to find out things aren't, finding that information out from other people. And Satan seems to always know how to get that info back to me to make me trip.
The funny thing about my current situation is the very same people I am trying to protect are the same ones talking badly about me. And what's different about this situation from past ones is now I have a husband who is also being talked badly about.
I guess if we deserve the things people are saying about us, it's easier to swallow being talked about. But it's a lot harder when your good intentions and grace are evil spoken of.
Well, anyway, I was going to blog about what the Lord has been teaching me in these trials (now that I am in the eye of the storm). (Whoa, check this out: I just accidentally deleted a few sentences I typed, so I clicked "paste" and this verse came out: "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13. How timely!).
Anyway, a few Sundays ago, I learned in my Christology class (I love that class) that, while modern psychology wants us to look in the past, even excavate it, to explain our circumstances, the Bible points us to Christ, to look at Him and see how we can glorify Him in our situation. That lesson has been a glorious eye-opener and a wonderful way to look at how to live life.
So first off, God knows that this definitely is my weakness: caring about what other people think/say about me. So the Lord is teaching me to keep my eyes on Him, to look upon Him and His approval. He is teaching me to trust Him. Every step of the way, I have meticulously bathed my decisions in searching the Scriptures and fervent prayer. I even looked up sermon topics that addressed my issues and all have pointed to doing things the way I have done them. I have to trust that God is leading. His Word affirmed it. That's all that matters. I will die of heartache and disappointment if I try to please everyone, even those whom I love. The Lord is really teaching me to put Him first, above all else. He is teaching me to exercise faith in that, as long as I obey Him, He will work everything out. Sometimes, I feel like I need to explain myself, defend myself, clear my name. But the Lord always tells me in my devotional readings: Be still, be silent: the Lord will fight for you. I am seeing another side to "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matt. 6:33). The grace God has richly blessed me with is the fact that my husband and I are fully united in everything that we've done: whether it is in action or in prayer. I know many married couples do not experience this so I recognize what a marvelous blessing it is to have a peaceful marriage in the midst of chaos.
The second lesson I am learning, which is connected to the first, is how to be truly free. Fretting about what others say about me makes me a slave to their thoughts. God is teaching me to let go, to not make such a big deal of others' opinion of me. Like Paul said in Philippians: I want to know Christ. Over and over again, Paul reminds us believers to have the mind of Christ, to be like Christ, to seek after Christ. My goal is to know what Christ thinks of me. I want to glorify Christ in my thoughts and actions. I want to be obsessed about what Christ thinks and says about me. Learning to be more focused on Christ naturally takes away my focus others' opinion of me. Therefore, I am freed from trying to please everyone. I am freed to please Him alone, my Creator, my God, my Savior and my Lord.
Thirdly, and this is the toughest one, this trial is teaching me to love those who speak ill of me. Like Jesus said, how impressive is it to love those who already love you? The real work comes in loving those who are hard to love (my paraphrase, of course). God has been teaching me to look through the lens of grace and mercy. How? By reminding me what my Jesus did for me. Every time I think of giving an eye for an eye, I think of the punishment I should have received, I think of the way God should have treated me. Then I look to the cross and see my Savior, the innocent One who received what I deserved that I may receive what He deserves. I guess this third lesson goes back to the first lesson. Looking unto Christ helps me love those who have hurt me, spoken evil of me, returned evil for good. Because that is what Jesus did for me.
Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith: He really keeps me humble. How dare I even think of striking back when God has forever withheld His own hand from me. The answer to everything in life really is about Christ: it's all about Him. I can never match His goodness towards me. There is no amount of love I can pour on someone undeserving that will ever even come close to resembling the goodness God has poured on me through His Son, Jesus Christ.
For real, straight up: Nothing calms an angry, troubled heart like meditating on Christ. I want my life's conviction to mirror the life verse God has given me: "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him, even unto death." I pray that that verse will truly be embodied in my witness. I am not there yet but I do see God taking me to that goal, baby step by baby step.
He is my passion. He is my obsession. Christ is my major, my concentration, my life course, my pursuit. He is my everything. He alone is worthy of such affection.