fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 2
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
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Carmine was heading for the mess after sitting through a long, but informative briefing with Major Lorne and Colonel Sheppard. He knew that the two men were not exaggerating the situations that they had faced in the Pegasus galaxy, but Carmine couldn't help but wonder if there was a way for them to prevent the potential of what seemed liked every moment of every day going pear-shaped. The tactical part of Carmine's mind was processing that over and over, just as every other man who had sat in on the briefing was doing, and now after lingering in the briefing room for a long while after everyone else had left, he was lost in his thoughts as he walked.
He was so preoccupied that he almost walked directly into Joey but managed to pull himself up short of physical contact.
"Sorry. My brain's still back in the briefing room," he offered with a grin.
He took in the sight of Joey dressed casually in a pair of jeans and loafers and a neatly tucked in white button-up shirt. Carmine had seen Joey sweaty in workout clothes and he had seen him in his BDUs, but this was altogether different. He was beautiful, and it made Carmine's libido sit up and take notice.
Joey's cheeks flushed but he replied without hesitation. "If your briefings are anything like the ones I've been sitting in, I can totally understand that, sir."
Carmine was pleased that Joey felt comfortable enough to speak with him. He hadn't been overly subtle in his efforts to connect with Joey during PT and he had worried a bit that he had pushed it too far. Apparently he hadn't.
"Yeah, it's been intense. But anyway... so you look nice."
As he knew it would, Carmine watched the other man's neck turn scarlet at the compliment. He had a sudden mental image of a blindfolded Joey against a wall with his hands bound above his head wearing just that white shirt, half unbuttoned, with his hard cock peeking out between the shirt tails, just begging for Carmine's attention. It took every ounce of his personal self-control to force his body to not react to that little fantasy.
Joey nervously shifted the small flat box he was carrying in his hands. "Thank you, sir." He hesitated a moment before adding, "I'm having dinner with Colonel Caldwell. He was my first CO when I joined the Air Force and we've known each other a long time. We try to catch up when we can."
The openness in Joey's sharing surprised Carmine, it seemed important to Joey that Carmine not have any misunderstanding about his relationship with Colonel Caldwell. He did note that he hadn't mentioned wearing Caldwell's collar, and wasn't sure what that meant exactly. He felt a twinge of jealousy at the idea of Joey attending Caldwell, either in the past or present, but he tamped it down. Joey wasn't his, and he suspected that acting like an overbearing caveman wasn't going to win him any points.
"It's nice that you've kept in contact through the years, not everyone does."
"Yeah, it can be hard with different deployments, but we try to catch dinner here and there when we're able." Carmine nodded, and Joey looked quickly at his watch. "I'm sorry, sir, I really need to go so I'm not late."
Carmine forced a smile and said, "You'd better get going then, have fun."
"Thank you, sir."
Joey took a few steps down the corridor and paused, he turned around and said softly, "It is just dinner, sir, nothing else."
"You don't owe me an explanation."
"I know that, sir, but I just... I just wanted you to know that."
Carmine nodded, and replied gently, "Go on, don't be late."
Joey quickly headed off and Carmine watched him go, and as he turned to go to the mess he absently scratched one of the scars on his ribs. They had been dry and itchy since boarding the Daedalus and he made a mental note to stop by the infirmary for something to ease the annoying itch.
As he walked, Carmine was trying to decipher the mixed signals that Joey was giving him. On the one hand, Joey obviously seemed physically attracted to him and open to friendly overtures, but on the other hand, he had shot Carmine down flat at his offer to play. There had to be something else going on with Joey, something that had nothing to do with him. Carmine just wondered what it was.
In the meantime, he was hungry, itchy, and thanks to that unsolicited little white-shirt fantasy, he was horny. His normally jovial expression was replaced by that of a grumpy bear and a wide path was cleared for him in the mess hall.
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At the permission to enter, Joey opened the door to Steven's quarters. The lights were dimmed a little, not enough to be construed as seductive or intimate, but just enough to make the utilitarian quarters seem a little more home-like with its hard edges softened.
Steven was also dressed casually in khaki pants and loafers and a navy blue sweater. He smiled upon seeing Joey and crossed the room to greet him. The welcome embrace was the same as it had been the day before, but this time the kiss was placed gently on Joey's mouth. Joey trembled in spite of himself as his lips parted and his tongue greeted Steven's.
They savored that kiss for a long moment. When they broke from it, Steven rested his forehead against Joey's and with a little sigh, said, "Sorry, I just couldn't resist."
Joey reached up and gently stroked Steven's cheek. "I always forget how intense that is."
He could feel Steven's arousal growing against him and knew that if he slid to his knees and took that hardening cock into his mouth that Steven wouldn't say no, but that wasn't who they were to each other any longer and they both knew it.
Steven pressed a quick kiss to Joey's temple and stepped back. "C'mon I've got a great bottle of wine from that wine club you talked me into joining and dinner will be here in a few minutes."
They settled themselves on the small couch with their wine glasses and Joey took the opportunity to give Steven the box that he had been carrying around.
Steven tore off the plain red paper covering the box with a wondering look on his face. A look that soon turned to amusement when the gift was revealed to be a box of maple sugar candy.
Steven chuckled, and Joey explained, "I ordered that on the Internet and had it overnighted just before we left Earth."
"I still can't believe that out of everything about that trip, you remember this," Steven replied.
"I remember everything about that trip, it was the best two weeks of my life," Joey answered honestly.
They had been playing exclusively for about two months when Steven had surprised Joey with a ski trip to Vermont. They spent the first couple of days skiing and exploring the little shops and oddities in the surrounding towns, just relaxing into their vacation. On the third night, Joey had knelt on a deep, plush carpet in front of a roaring fire wearing nothing but a leather cock ring and matching leather cuffs as he bowed his neck to accept Steven's collar.
It was on that trip that Steven had discovered that he enjoyed the syrupy sweet maple sugar candy and through the years since, Joey enjoyed finding excuses to either send or bring Steven the sentimental treat.
Like Joey knew that he would, Steven smirked at him and reached over and ruffled his hair, just like eight years hadn't passed from that Vermont trip until now.
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In the mess hall Carmine joined his fellow SEAL and teammate, Chief Petty Officer Ramon Gutierrez, and Ramon's collared submissive Adrian Picone, Carmine's first cousin. His favorite cousin if Adrian were to be believed.
It was Adrian that teased Carmine upon seeing his sour expression. "Uh, oh, somebody needs to get laid."
Carmine leveled a look of annoyance across the table at the comment and then groaned to Ramon. "You know when I brought you home to spend Christmas with my family it never even occurred to me that you would collar my most annoying cousin, never mind marry him and drag him along with us wherever we go."
Ramon held up his hands in mock surrender, he knew that Carmine was actually kidding, no matter how grumpy his words sounded. "Hey, man, you saw the jeans mi amor was wearing when I met him. How could I say no to that?"
Adrian was looking intently at Carmine across the table and dropped the joking around. "You alright, Carm?"
Carmine took a big swig of milk and nodded before picking up his fork to attack his mashed potatoes. "Yeah, just a lot going on in my head with this mission."
Ramon blew out a breath. "That was one hell of a briefing this afternoon, man, and we seriously need to come up with some way to take out the Wraith. Every last one of those fuckers, preferably."
A passing Marine gave Ramon a thumbs up and added his own. "Hoorah, sir."
The three of them grinned at the Marine and both Ramon and Adrian openly admired the Marine's fine-looking ass as he walked away. They ate quietly for a few minutes, but Adrian hadn't given up studying Carmine and he prodded, "The Wraith problem isn't the only thing going on in your head though is it?"
Carmine shrugged and turned his attention outward to the rest of the mess hall. "It's just... I met someone that's got me a little turned around."
Ramon gestured with his empty fork in Carmine's direction and asked, "Is this someone going to be stationed on Atlantis with us?"
"Yeah, he's Air Force."
"Ha!" Ramon exclaimed. "It's a he. So, man, why are you here with us instead of in your quarters getting better acquainted with him?"
"It's complicated. Yesterday I offered and he declined, but then we just had weird conversation a little while ago that I'm trying to wrap my head around."
"Do you think it's because of your scars?" Ramon asked gently, being one of a scant handful of people who could ask that question and still retain teeth.
Carmine shook his head and said, "No, that's not it. I can tell when that's a problem with someone, and it just isn't with him, it's like he doesn't even see them. No, there's something else, something that I don't think is about me at all."
"Maybe he left someone behind to come on this mission, or had a recent breakup or something. If he's going to Atlantis with us, maybe the best thing to do is just give him some time if you're really interested in him," Adrian offered..
Carmine thought about that for a moment and replied, "I hadn't even considered that, you might be onto something there."
Adrian grinned at him and went back to teasing, "Of course I still think you need to get laid."
Carmine grinned back and retorted, "And I still think you need your ass spanked."
Ramon looked at his sub, his gaze lustful and appreciative, and with a little leer said, "Yes, he does. And I have the perfect paddle to do it, too."
"Get a room," Carmine admonished with a playful roll of his eyes as he stood up.
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Dinner had been the same fare being served in the mess hall, both Steven and Joey were simple eaters and didn't require anything fancy. The California wine was excellent though, and the conversation relaxed and familiar. Over dinner they talked about mutual acquaintances and Steven's family, and about Joey's school work and his promotion and new deployment to Atlantis. Joey couldn't remember having such a relaxing evening in a very long time.
They were settled back on the couch each with a snifter of brandy when Steven broached the elephant that was always in the room.
"So, have you been seeing anyone?"
Another unbidden flash of Commander Picone's face brought Joey up short and he made a show of swirling his brandy around in his glass without answering Steven.
"Joey, that was in the form of a question."
Joey took a sip of brandy and let it slide slowly down his throat before answering simply, "No."
Steven's expression became one of sadness and concern. "Joey..."
"It doesn't matter, Steven. That's just not part of who I am anymore. It doesn't bother me, I've got a lot of other stuff to keep me occupied instead."
"If it doesn't bother you, then why did you hesitate to answer?" Steven challenged.
Joey grinned wanly, "Because I knew how you'd react."
Steven stood up and paced. "Yeah, I guess you would. And you probably know what I'm going to say next."
"That I can't let what Borden did to me dictate the rest of my life and that not all Doms are like him."
"Exactly," Steven replied evenly.
"I know all that intellectually, but I'm just... I'm just not ready to take that chance emotionally."
Steven had stopped pacing in front of the narrow bookshelf in the corner and was staring at a small framed picture of he and Joey on skis at the bottom of that mountain in Vermont. They had both been so happy on that trip, high on fresh air and sexual energy, their wide smiles in the picture a testament to that. But it hadn't lasted, their dynamics hadn't clicked well enough to become permanent, they each needed things the other just couldn't give. The genuine affection and love between them never waned though. Steven even kept Joey's collars and the wedding rings they had mutually decided were a bad idea tucked in among his clothing in the dresser across the room.
Joey set his brandy down and silently crossed the room. He stepped up behind Steven and slipped his arms around the other man, pressing his cheek against Steven's shoulder. His voice wasn't at all hesitant as he whispered, "It wasn't your fault, you know."
"I introduced you to him. How is it not my fault?"
"No one knew what he was capable of, Steven. His actions were his own and he's the only one to blame."
They stood that way for a long time, relishing the contact. Steven's voice was low as he broke the quiet moment. "I want you to promise me something."
"What?" Joey asked tucking his chin in the crook of Steven's shoulder.
"I want you to promise me that if you find someone who makes you smile like that again," he pointed to the photo in front of them, "that you'll give him a chance."
Joey turned and pressed his cheek to Steven's shoulder-blade and whispered, "I promise to try."
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Carmine's trip to the infirmary got him a quick prescription for the strongest Tollan creme available to combat his dry, itchy scars. The doctor citing the difference in the humidity level on board the Daedalus as a possible suspect, as was the way the water was treated versus back on Earth.
He took the tube from the doctor on duty and asked a little sheepishly, "Is there anyone that can help put it on my back? I can't reach all the scars back there."
One of the nurses over heard and stepped over to them and shyly offered to assist Carmine. He had observed her working in the infirmary while he was waiting for his turn to see the doctor. She was tall woman with her long dark blond hair pulled back into a severe looking bun. She was athletic in appearance, not a willowy sort, with wide hips and probably ten or fifteen extra pounds that plagued her. Her skin was fair though, and her eyes a light blueish hazel, and he thought to himself that she would be much prettier with her hair down and a far less serious expression on her face.
She efficiently pulled the curtain around them and as he pulled off his t-shirt he said, "Thanks, I appreciate this."
A little nervously she replied, "There's nothing worse than an itch on your back you can't reach, sir, but the creme should take care of that nicely for you."
Her touch on his back wasn't nervous or hesitant and her sure fingers worked the creme into each ropy scar.
He had to work to keep himself from moaning in delight, he hadn't realized exactly how itchy he had been until it was relieved by the creme.
As she worked he tried to make conversation. "My name's Carmine, by the way, Lieutenant Commander Carmine Picone, US Navy SEAL heading for Atlantis. What's yours?"
"Lieutenant Anne Katherine Erickson, but my friends and family call me Anka."
She found one particularly bad spot and he let out a little groan in spite of himself and then he laughed when she chided, "You should have come in sooner, sir."
Anka finished up and he put his t-shirt back on and turned to go. "Thanks again, Anka. And it was nice meeting you."
He got a little nervous smile out of her as she replied, "You too, sir."
It confirmed Carmine's thought that she would be much prettier if she smiled more.
An hour later, he was in his quarters stretched out on his bed intently studying field reports from past Atlantis off-world teams when his door chimed.
He opened it to see Anka standing there with something in her hands.
"Lieutenant?"
She swallowed nervously and held out what turned out to be a bar of moisturizing soap of all things. "My brother uses this, he says it keeps his scars from drying out and making him itchy."
"Your brother?" Carmine asked, intrigued. He had wondered why she hadn't shied away from him in the infirmary.
"He was injured in Afghanistan by an IED, he has injuries about as severe as yours, although his are mostly on his legs."
"Is that why you volunteered to help me in the infirmary?"
"No, sir," she said quickly, then dropped her eyes to the floor, "It was a way... I mean I... I just wanted your attention, sir. I'm sorry if I offended you. I'll just go, sir."
She turned to go and in a flash he closed his fingers lightly around her wrist. "Wait, Anka." She paused and when she turned back towards him, he continued, "I'm not offended. And you can have all of my attention tonight if you want it."
"I would like very much to please you, sir."
"Come inside, Anka, and we can talk about how we can please each other tonight."
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One game of backgammon turned into two and then three, neither Joey or Steven really wanting their evening to end. Joey was taken back to another time and place. Back when their evening would have ended in bed with Joey bound and hard and begging and Steven fucking him like he had all the time in the world.
Joey's eyes flicked over to the bed and the toy box in the corner. Steven caught him and teased, "If you're thinking that you'd like me strip off all your clothes and have my way with you, then I'd have to warn you that if I have one more brandy I probably wouldn't say no if you asked me to."
Joey stood and gently took Steven's face in his hands and kissed him deeply. He pulled back and swallowed hard before saying quietly, "I know, and if I have one more brandy, I just might ask. So I'm going to say goodnight, Steven."
Steven's hand landed warmly on Joey's neck. He nodded and said, "Remember what I said, if you meet someone, give 'em a chance. You deserve it."
It was Joey's turn to nod and he pressed another, more chaste, goodnight kiss on Steven's mouth before turning and heading back to his own quarters.
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Anka knelt at Carmine's request as he circled slowly around her. "What is your safe word?"
"I prefer to use the standard colors, if it pleases you, sir."
"Red for stop, yellow to ease off, green for you're fine with something?"
"Yes, sir."
"Okay," Carmine replied as he divested her bun of the multitude of hairpins holding it in place, finally freeing her hair to fall loosely around her shoulders.
He took his time asking questions as he slowly undressed her. When he had a good handle on what she needed from him he removed his own clothing. His erection was ruddy and leaking with need as he stepped in front of her and gathered her soft hair in his hands and ordered her to suck him.
He only let her have a brief taste though, before ordering her up onto the bed on her hands and knees. He pulled wrist and ankle cuffs out of his kit and efficiently had her bound in place, her ass in the air, ready for him to use.
She had requested his hand, and his hand she got. Firm blows from his bare hand soon had her completely aroused and her ass glowing. Arching and mewing with each blow, she was so wet that it was starting to run down her inner thighs. Carmine's cock was hard and aching to bury itself in her wet heat, so without further ado, he quickly rolled on a condom and did just that. He grabbed a hold of the hips that she was so self-conscious about and with one sure stroke entered her fully. She was tight, and not used to taking a man of his size and her mewing quickly turned to guttural grunts and moans. She fucked him back as much as her bonds would allow, he could tell she was riding the razor's edge of orgasm. He leaned forward and covered her with his body and again wrapped a hand in her hair, tugging and forcing her to arch further and take him even deeper.
His own breathing was ragged and harsh as he commanded her, "Come for me, Anka."
His fingers curled tighter into her hair and the soft flesh of her hip. He felt her tightening even further around his cock and the beginnings of her release. He moved purposely then, drawing it out for her and making it last as long as he could before letting his own release overtake him.
When the last spasms deep inside her had stilled, he slowly pulled out, eliciting one final moan of pleasure from her. Even as he was trying to regain his breath, he deftly undid her bonds and they both flopped bonelessly onto the bed, enjoying the moment of post-orgasmic glow.
Carmine rolled over and leaned up on and elbow and rested his free hand lightly on her stomach and asked, "Do you have to check in with anyone?"
She nodded and licked her lips looking for moisture and managed to reply, "Yes, and he'll want to know if I need to set up a second check, sir."
"I'd like you to stay if you want to."
Her grin was quick and genuine and just lit up her entire face. "I would be honored to stay, sir," she paused then added "I feel comfortable enough that I don't think I need another check in, if that's alright with you, sir."
He grinned back and replied, "That is entirely your call. I'm fine with it either way, I just want you to feel safe."
In the end, she made her check in and told her friend that she was staying but that she didn't need another check in.
They both cleaned up a little and each drained a bottle of water before crashing back to the bed. Anka was a little body shy and Carmine amused himself by running his calloused hand all over her, enjoying watching the goosebumps springing up on her skin. With a wicked grin he soon had her bound spread eagle, every inch of her open and exposed for his hands, his mouth, his cock.
At the moment, it was the first two he employed to make her squirm and gasp. His mouth was hot and wet as he explored all of her curves, even as his fingers were coarse and unrelenting. He whispered things in Italian against her skin, most of which she didn't catch or understand, but bella she understood and it broke her. No one had ever called her beautiful before--in any language.
Carmine heard the hiccupy intake of breath and immediately looked up at Anka's face to check on her. The tears filling her eyes were not exactly what he expected and he asked gently, "Anka, do you want me to stop?"
The tears threatening to fall actually did as she opened her mouth to speak. When nothing came out, and she wouldn't look him in the eye, Carmine sat up and deftly released the clips on her cuffs. He cupped her cheek in his hand and said in that same gentle way, "Anka, please look at me." She forced herself to meet his eyes and he asked, "What's wrong?"
She inhaled deeply and admitted in a small voice, "No one ever said I was beautiful before."
Without hesitation he gathered her in his arm and held her tightly. "You are beautiful, Anka."
She wasn't in a place to respond, and as he held her, his hands gently stroked her back, soothing her as best as he knew how. "When I was eighteen my Mamma insisted that I attend her pleasure house in Italy, Casa di Bella Nascosta, the House of Hidden Beauty. It's a small pleasure house in Tuscany, popular with Italian-American families. Their main house philosophy is that there is beauty in everyone and everything if you know where to look."
He could feel her relaxing and continued his story. "In my first session there was a pair of twins also there for training. Nicky and Antony were their names. They were beautiful, popular young men, you know the type, that captain of the football team and class president type. They were identical twins, but their personalities were night and day. While Nicky was fun and had a great sense of humor, his brother Antony was sort of a shithead."
Carmine grinned at the little giggle that pulled from Anka.
"He was extremely vain and kept telling everyone that he only intended to fuck submissives as beautiful as he was and that he was going to be rich and famous someday. Like I said, total shithead. Anyway, one of our first training exercises was in combination with the first session submissives also at the house. The sub would come into the middle of our training room and stand in the nude on a small pedestal, imitating a marble statue and each Dom in training was to study the sub and list no less than five things that were beautiful about that sub. It all went pretty smoothly until a girl named Sophie entered the room. Sophie was very overweight, and she was so shy that she was almost physically ill at the idea of having to drop her toga in front of the entire room."
Anka's voice was small as she asked, "Did she do it though?"
"Yes. And most of the Doms in the room were gentle and kind with her. Nicky in particular had a long list of things that pleased him about her, he liked that she was modest and that she had freckles on her nose, and a whole bunch of other little things that no one else had noticed about her. Everyone could see he was definitely attracted to her, but then when he was done it was Antony's turn. I did say he was a shithead, right?"
Anka giggled again and answered, "Yes, sir."
"Good. Well needless to say, he was not at all kind to gentle Sophie and after his second sarcastic remark, Nicky stood up and knocked him out cold with one punch. After that, Antony was sent home and not surprising to anyone, Sophie was assigned to Nicky during training."
"He defended her like that?" Anka asked, disbelieving a little.
"Oh, absolutely. In fact, he actually collared Sophie at the end of that session and they married about eight months later. They've been together ever since and have three beautiful little girls and Nicky proudly tells everyone that they look just like their mother. But that's not the best part of the story."
"No?"
"Nope. Best part is that it turned out that Sophie is the only child of a huge international shipping tycoon. Think beyond filthy rich, and Nicky's father-in-law loves him and brought him into the business as an heir-apparent."
"What happened to Antony?"
"From what I hear, he went off to college where he collared and married some beautiful, but bitchy, cheerleader who's now making his life hell. I guess he's working in middle management for some insurance company and has totally let himself go. Karma's a bitch."
Carmine shifted around a little so he could see Anka's face. "Look, I told you that story for a reason. There is beauty in all of us, and if the dumb bastards that you've been with in the past haven't seen that you are beautiful then they didn't deserve to be with you to begin with."
Anka didn't reply, but he could see the understanding in her eyes and he asked lightly, "Do you still want to stay?"
She swallowed hard and said in an exhale, "Very much, sir."
Carmine grinned and in a lightning quick move had flipped them around and with one hand held her hands pressed to the bed above her head as his mouth trailed down her neck to her breast. He paused and teased, "Good, because I wasn't done exploring yet."
"Sir?"
"Mmm?" he replied as his tongue swirled around her nipple.
"Will you tell me my list?"
He drew the nipple he had been tormenting into his mouth and suckled making her squirm. He moved his mouth lower and whispered against her skin, "Your hair is beautiful, and I like that it's long and thick for my hands to play with. You should wear it looser during the day so people can see it."
In between nips and licks he gave her whole list. She had never felt so desirable as she did when he finally finished torturing her with his mouth and after pausing only long enough to quickly put on a condom, he slipped his strong hands under her ass and lifted her slightly as he slid inside her in one deep stroke.
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Anka left his quarters in the morning with barely enough time to go back to her own and change for her shift in the infirmary. He had taken her three times in total and she couldn't remember ever feeling so cherished or sated after a play date.
She showered quickly and got ready for duty. As she stood in front of the mirror with her hair in her hand to put it in her faithful bun, she paused and instead reached for a clip. Arranging it so that it was up and out of the way, but still soft and loose, she smiled thinking about Carmine's list.
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Part 3
Time Heals index