fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 1
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
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Every base has urban legends about scenes taken too far and submissives maimed or killed, most are simply myth, made up of half-baked truths and dark fantasies. Some however, are based in fact, and are horrific beyond reason and some would say for those involved, beyond bearing. When the stories are shared over beers or in harsh whispers in the locker room, few would ever hope to meet a survivor from one of those dark tales. Little do those storytellers know, but those survivors exist, and they walk among them.
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Newly promoted Master Sergeant Joseph Olsen let out a deep breath when the door to Master Chief Frost's office closed behind him. His interview with Frost had to be the most nerve-wracking thing that he had ever had to do. Frost was a consummate professional and had kept the interview strictly about the Atlantis mission and Joseph's place in it. Joseph was looking forward to serving under Frost, but Frost's dynamic was just an overwhelming force in the room and it was triggering things in Olsen that he had thought he had long since put away and forgotten about.
He took another breath and let it out slowly as he settled himself. It took a long moment before he turned and headed down the corridor.
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Olsen had his attention firmly fixed to the data pad in his hands and didn't see the appreciative looks he was getting from a group of burly BDU-wearing men at the other end of the corridor. In fact, he probably wouldn't have noticed even if his nose hadn't been in the data pad, he just wasn't interested in that kind of attention, it no longer had any place in his life.
But today he was busy regardless, and because of that, he didn't notice the intense flash of interest that filled the eyes of one of those burly men in particular.
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Olsen was busy checking crates of parts against the manifest on his data pad when he heard boots behind him. He turned and immediately straightened his posture upon seeing General O'Neill standing there.
"General, sir."
"Olsen. Getting everything packed up for transport?" Jack asked with little grin.
"Yes, sir. Everything is going smoothly. I'm just waiting on one final crate of parts that will be here in the morning."
"Excellent," Jack replied, then teased, "You do realize Siler will probably never forgive either of us for you shipping off to Pegasus?"
Olsen chuckled; he had worked under Siler a long time and had learned a lot from him. "You're probably right, sir."
Jack glanced around the room to be sure they were alone before turning back to Joseph with a more serious look on his face. "Small talk aside, I came down here for a reason."
"Sir?"
"You earned your promotion by working hard and keeping your nose clean and you've more than earned your place on this mission. Pegasus is a good opportunity for you. It can be a fresh start, to be cliche'."
"Yes, sir."
"Look, what I mean is, you deserve to be happy. And you deserve to be safe and protected. I won't be there to look out for you like I have here, but Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne are good men. So is the Master Chief. If you have any issues, and I mean any issues, you bring it to one of them. That's an order."
"Sir, you know I don't..." Olsen started before Jack cut him off.
"I know you don't currently, and that's fine. I just want to you know that you will have people out there in Atlantis to go to if you need them."
"Does Colonel Sheppard know... about me?"
"Yes, as does Major Lorne. I met with both of them and told them personally. They needed to know the reasoning behind the restrictions I put on your file."
"And they still want me on the mission, sir?"
"They wouldn't have it any other way and they both wanted me to stress that you can go to either of them at any time."
Olsen swallowed hard. Having someone other than the General that he could turn to on a daily basis was a little overwhelming.
"Thank you, sir... for everything."
"No thanks necessary. Like I said, you deserve to be protected. But don't forget, you also deserve to be happy, so if you meet someone out there..."
Jack trailed off at the wince on the younger man's face and he softened his tone. "Joey, they're not all like Borden. There are a lot of good, caring Doms out there that will respect you and your limits. Don't let your fear block a chance at something good and of being happy."
The corners of Olsen's mouth curled up a little on their own, O'Neill was one of the few that called him Joey. He replied, "I'll try, sir."
"Good," Jack said and extended his hand. "I don't know if I'll get a chance to see you before you leave, so good luck out there,"
Joey looked at that extended hand for a moment before gamely shaking it. The General wasn't normally one for touching submissives outside of his own, but Joey knew that O'Neill thought himself to be a sort of surrogate father to him and that in both their minds their contact was paternal and nothing more.
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The schedule for the Atlantis personnel on board the Daedalus was designed to keep people occupied and out of trouble. Joey put on his workout clothes and headed for the cargo bay being used for his assigned PT. He was trying to be inconspicuous among the group of military personnel assembling and he avoided making even casual eye contact to not give off the impression that he was available to approach for play.
A loud booming voice from the back of the group called out, "Fall in, people."
It was a strong and confident voice, used to being instantly obeyed, and Joey had to tamp down the flickers of want that it triggered in him.
Those flickers stayed tamped down just long enough for the owner of the voice to make his way to the front of the group in formation. Then they went from mere flickers to full-on flares as Joey got a good look at the man.
He was tall and built like a tank. The black t-shirt he was wearing fit him like a second skin and accentuated his broad shoulders and powerful arms. His brush cut hair was dark, as were his eyes, and he was deeply tanned.
Joey almost couldn't help himself from flat-out staring, the man was gorgeous.
That was not the consensus of those gathered however, and there was a little wave of twittering among those looking at him
"My name is Lieutenant Commander Carmine Picone and I am a U.S. Navy SEAL. I've been assigned the task of getting all of you up to a higher level of physical training and self-defense by the time we reach Atlantis. Now I know you've all had at least the basics in hand-to-hand and self-defense, but here's the deal folks, we are going into a war-zone where there are life-sucking aliens that want to eat each and every one of us. I shouldn't have to say that being at your best physically and being able to defend yourself are really in your own best interests. My goal is to make sure that your previous training is fresh in your head and teach you some new techniques that just might save your ass in Pegasus."
The group was listening intently, and most of the group was obviously trying not to stare at Commander Picone. Joey was trying hard not to appear to stare but he couldn't help it, the good Commander was pushing every one of his subby buttons. What Joey realized as he caught glimpses out of the corner of his eye was that the Picone was really making many of them uncomfortable and why exactly wasn't registering with Joey. At least, it didn't until he continued speaking.
"I can see that I'm making some of you uncomfortable. Well listen up, people, because I'm only going to explain this once."
He pointed to the left side of his face, the side of his face that looked like it had been made of wax and melted, the side of his face that was disfigured and distorted by burn scars. Joey sucked in a breath, the Commander's scars hadn't registered with him, he had just looked right past them like they weren't even there, but now that the Commander had pointed them out, he couldn't un-see them.
"This," Picone said, continuing to point at his ruined face, "was courtesy of an op in the Middle East that I can't talk about because it's classified. No, it doesn't hurt. Yes, I can see just fine outta that eye. And yeah, the scars go all the way down and around. I think that about covers that. Let's get to work. You've got two minutes to stretch then you're mine."
Joey looked down at the mat in front of him and concentrated on stretching. He was on the ground working his right hamstring when he happened to glance back over to Picone. He found himself the subject of Picone's unabashed and appreciative stare.
Joey quickly averted his eyes even as the blush that started on his cheeks quickly traveled down his ears. He was mortified but forced himself to go back to concentrating on his stretching. When he heard Picone's knowing chuckle, Joey desperately wished for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
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The workout had been strenuous and the hot water felt good beating on his overworked muscles as Joey showered. The shower stall in the quarters he was assigned was miniscule but functional, and most importantly, private. He lathered up a washcloth and scrubbed himself efficiently, when he reached his groin his mind flashed to an image of Picone and he felt the first twinges of arousal. He sighed heavily and looked down at his cock and asked it aloud, "Now? Seriously?"
Deciding to give into his cock's will, he lathered his hand with more soap and closed his eyes, allowing a slide show of the morning's workout to play behind his eyelids as he stroked himself slowly. As he came softly with the fantasy of what it might be like to have Picone's hands on him, he almost wanted to cry, and as he rinsed away the soap and semen he wondered sadly how things might have been with Picone if he had met him before Major Borden had ruined his life.
With a final sigh, Joey shucked off all of those thoughts as he got dressed. He had long since come to terms with what his life was, and for the most part it was good; lonely by his own choice, but good none the less.
Once dressed, he decided he was hungry, and after grabbing a backpack full of textbooks, he headed for the mess.
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Carmine Picone was not a hesitant man. His self-confidence had served him well as a SEAL, an officer, and in his dynamic, or at least it had before that damn op had turned him into something that looked like a monster from a bad horror movie. So as he held his tray and his eyes fell to the spot where he wanted to sit, he wouldn't say he hesitated, but he did pause for a moment to consider his actions, and steel himself for the inevitable rejection he knew he was about to receive. After letting out a little breath, he walked over to a particular table, and in a friendly tone asked the man with his attention buried in a textbook, "Mind if I join you?"
The submissive looked up at the question and blinked, his mind still obviously on the textbook he had been reading. It took him a moment to register who was standing there and he flushed and stammered out, "With me, sir?"
If Carmine was reading the other man right, and he was generally pretty good about knowing when someone was repulsed or not by his appearance, then there was definitely more than a faint spark of interest on the other man's part. His natural self-confidence asserted itself and he teased playfully, "You're the only one at this table."
When the other man didn't reply or indicate that he would or wouldn't mind the company, Carmine took the initiative and sat down anyway. He extended his hand across the table. "Lieutenant Commander Carmine Picone, but then you knew that since I had you in PT earlier."
The flush that started on sub's cheeks did exactly what it had done earlier in PT. As Carmine watched the other man's neck turn red, he decided that it was the most charming, unconscious thing he had ever seen a sub do in his presence. His ego puffed a little as he noted that he had done it not once but twice now to the man.
The blushing submissive hesitantly took Carmine's hand and cleared his throat nervously before saying, "Master Sergeant Joseph Olsen, Air Force."
There was a current that passed between their hands that had both men looking at them; the contact was simply electric. They reluctantly broke the handshake, their eyes meeting briefly before Joey's flush deepened and he looked down.
Carmine relaxed back a bit in his chair. Picking up his fork, he asked lightly, "So what are you studying?"
Trying to keep his voice from cracking with nerves, Joey answered, "Probability and statistics, sir. It's one of the last classes I need for my degree."
"Cool. What type of degree are you going for?" Carmine replied as he casually cut up the chicken on his plate, purposely keeping his tone light and jovial. He could see that he made the other man a little nervous. Carmine wasn't quite sure if it was his dynamic, rank, or appearance doing it, so he toned everything down a little.
"I need three classes to finish up my Bachelor's then I'm hoping I'll get accepted into the Master's program for mechanical engineering."
"Nice. You must be a pretty smart guy to do this on your own."
Joey's flush was back in force at the unexpected compliment, and his eyes were on his plate as he replied, "I do my best, sir."
Carmine just couldn't help himself, he had to tease. "Do you blush like that all time?"
With his eyes still on his plate, Joey said lowly, "I'm sorry, sir, it doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, I... well I can't control it"
Under the table Carmine nudged the toe of Joey's boot with his own, making Joey finally look up and with a bite of chicken on his fork lifted to his mouth he replied, "It's a good look for you, Joey. I like it."
Before Joey could stammer out a reply to either the remark or the fact that he so familiarly called him Joey, a page over his radio called him to Colonel Caldwell's office.
Joey tapped his radio and acknowledged the page, then stood quickly and said as he began stuffing his study materials in his knapsack, "I'm sorry, sir, I have to go, Colonel Caldwell wants to see me in his office."
Carmine's brow furrowed. "Everything all right? You're not in trouble are you?" Enlisted men getting called to a colonel's office was generally not a good thing.
Carmine wasn't exactly sure what he would have done if the other man had said yes. They weren't socially contracted, nor did Joey wear his collar, but he'd be damned if anyone was ever going to take a strap to Joey's ass if he had anything to say about it. Never had a sub tripped so many of his triggers in such a sort time, and the intensity of it was wholly unexpected.
Joey was surprised at the concern on Carmine's face and in his voice. It had been a really long time since anyone new had cared about him like that, since he had let anyone new care about him like that. He swallowed softly and replied, "No, I'm not in trouble, but thanks for your concern. Colonel Caldwell is an old friend and we just haven't had a chance to catch up since I beamed aboard. That's all."
Carmine nodded and as Joey hefted his knapsack up to his shoulder he asked, "Before you go, would you like to get together sometime? See how our dynamics mesh?"
Joey paused and looked Carmine directly in the eyes, every fiber of his body screaming out that it was on board with that idea. But his brain forced the same words of reason out of his mouth that fell from his lips at every Dom's offer, "I'm very flattered by your interest, sir, but I'm not entertaining socially at this time."
Carmine nodded again, and replied simply, "Okay," he paused momentarily, then added, "You'd better go, don't keep the Colonel waiting."
As Joey made his way towards Caldwell's office he could still see the momentary flash of pain that his rejection had caused Picone. He had covered it quickly enough, but Joey had caught it nonetheless. Joey thought about the words he had used; he had overheard Dr. Kusanagi use them once a couple of years ago and he had thought them as elegant as she was. He had thought the phrase to be a kind and genteel way to push off an interested Dom. He had used it many times in the past without a shred of guilt, but for some reason today it felt cold and biting. It made Joey wish that he could explain to Picone that his rejection had nothing to do him in reality, but rather with demons from Joey's own past. As he reached Caldwell's office he decided that at this point it was probably better to just let the situation lie and let Picone find a sub that would be able to meet his needs.
Joey paused in the open door to Caldwell's office and smiled at seeing Caldwell busy at his laptop, concentrating on his ever-familiar two-finger typing. He cleared his throat to announce himself and when Caldwell looked up he said, "Reporting as requested, sir."
"I was starting to think you were ignoring me, Sergeant." Caldwell teased with a smirk as he stood and crossed the room.
Caldwell stopped directly in front of Joey with wide open arms, and with no hesitation Joey stepped into the offered embrace. As he let Caldwell wrap his arms around him, Joey said, "No, sir. I just figured you had to have been too busy for social calls, Colonel."
Caldwell gave Joey an extra squeeze and said, "I've missed you, Joey."
Joey swallowed hard past the lump in his throat. "I've missed you, too, Steven. So much."
Steven pulled back and pressed a gentle kiss to Joey's forehead before tucking a finger under Joey's chin to make him meet his eyes and admonishing, "For the record, I am never too busy for you. Got that?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good," Steven replied and pulled back, putting a respectable amount of space between them, "I'd like to have dinner with you tomorrow night in my quarters if you don't already have plans. I might even let you beat me at backgammon."
Joey knew that Steven was offering exactly that, dinner and friendship, nothing more, but an unbidden an image of Picone flashed in Joey's mind before he quickly pushed it off. "I would like that, sir, we have a lot to catch up on."
"Good. Tomorrow night then, say nineteen hundred?"
"Nineteen hundred."
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Carmine was finishing up his dinner at the now empty table, the mess hall getting more and more crowded even as his table stayed empty. He knew that most people didn't have a fucking clue how to approach him, and that stung. He had always considered himself a friendly and outgoing sort and he missed being able to interact with people in that easygoing way. He hoped that the smaller size of the Atlantis expedition would allow people to get to know him and maybe even see past the scars to the man he was underneath.
He was somewhat surprised when a tray was plunked down next to his and a man in a Daedalus jumpsuit sat down. At Carmine's raised eyebrow the man introduced himself.
"Major Kenneth Victor. Flight Commander for the Daedalus X-302 squadron."
"Lieutenant Commander Carmine Picone, Navy SEAL assigned to Atlantis."
"Look, I saw you sitting with Olsen a little while ago and thought I'd give you some friendly advice."
"Are you saying that I need advice on how to deal with a with an enlisted man? Or just submissives in general?"
Carmine knew that he was being abrasive and sarcastic. It was not lost on Victor, but the man had a sort of smug, self-important attitude that was just screaming that he needed his ass kicked. Carmine found it difficult to stay around him without doing so.
"Just that one in particular. Back at the SGC General O'Neill had Olsen under his "personal" protection, and from what I hear, gladly spanked the ass of anyone that so much as looked at Olsen or hassled him." The air quotes that the Major used irritated Carmine even more.
"There's a big difference, Major, between having a conversation with a submissive and hassling them."
"I know that, and you know that, but I like I said I just want to give you a heads up, Olsen can be trouble for any interested Dom. General O'Neill might have just spanked a few asses, but I can guaran-fucking-tee that if anyone messes with Olsen while on board this ship that Caldwell will just go ballistic."
"Who is he to them? Why the concern?" Carmine asked coolly.
"I don't know the reasoning behind O'Neill exactly, but I know that Olsen wore Caldwell's collar for a year and half back when Caldwell was a new Lieutenant Colonel and that they are still very close."
"Understandable if they parted amicably." Carmine was getting increasingly uncomfortable, he had never been a big fan of base gossip, especially as it pertained to Doms talking about subs.
"Yeah, I guess. Most people think that Olsen still hits his knees for the Colonel, just for old times sake," he laughed coarsely then added, "Not that any of us can blame the Colonel, I mean who wouldn't want to fuck that?"
Carmine was about a hair's breadth away from decking the Major. He knew his career could take the hit, his service record was impeccable. He also knew that there was absolutely no doubt that he could take the Major in a brawl, but it wasn't the best way to start a new posting. Brawling was not normally his preferred method of conflict resolution if at all avoidable, so he avoided, at least as viewed from the outside.
Making a show of balling up his napkin and dropping it on his tray he casually stood to go. Stepping around the table to face Victor he leaned in and with a little jerk of his head towards his left arm, said in a low voice for Victor's ears alone, "With all due respect, Major, I know my two master markings look like a blurry Rorschach test, but they're there. So that being said, I shouldn't have to tell you that one of the most important lessons drilled into me by both of my pleasure masters was the idea of respect and discretion. I find it insulting and extremely disturbing that a ranking officer such as yourself would sit and gossip with someone he doesn't even know about his commanding officer and an enlisted submissive. I really hope that your manners are not the norm around here. Major."
Carmine could see that the other man wanted to throw a punch, but didn't. Carmine didn't give him a chance to reply; he picked up his tray and left.
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PT was just as grueling the next day as it had been the first. Carmine drove them hard and there was more than one muttered complaint of "sadist" overheard in the room. Carmine grinned evilly every time he heard it and Joey had to struggle not to laugh.
Joey kept himself in good shape, he wasn't overly muscular, but was lean and much more physically fit than many others in the room. The exercise felt good after sitting around in briefings and meetings. Joey had relaxed into the workout once he realized that there wasn't any negative tension directed towards him from Picone, something Joey had experienced from more than one brushed-off Dom. In fact, it almost seemed the opposite, Picone would meet his eyes periodically and even occasionally share a playful eye roll as another one of the group ran for the prudently placed puke buckets near the wall. Picone seemed to have a sense of humor and didn't hesitate to crack a joke or laugh or smile.
Joey found himself attracted to him as a person, not just sexually or dynamically, although those particular attractions were also rearing their heads. As he huffed his way through the umpteenth set of jumping jacks Picone had set the group to doing, Joey thought back to his altogether too-short conversation with the Commander the day before and found himself regretting that it had been interrupted. He wondered what Picone's interests were and what pleasure house he had attended, and where he was from and what his family was like. Joey realized with a start that he wanted to know the man, really get to know him, and that hadn't happened to him with anyone since Borden.
Those thoughts stuck with Joey through the rest of the afternoon. He wondered why it didn't terrify him like it probably should have, but as he showered and got ready for his dinner date with Steven, he decided not to over-analyze it.
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Part 2
Time Heals index