(no subject)
So I don't post here much these days, been busy. But I just needed to get this out. I'm depressed :( it sucks I don't think it's pnd it's probs just d I guess, not that I know the difference really. I feel numb to most things, I can't be fucked doing anything, I feel anxious when I have to leave the house & get changed a thousand times, I don't feel inspired to do anything creative & when I do i fail at it & that just makes the whole thing worse & I end up feeling even more shit about myself. My self esteem is at an all time low & I just can't seem to drag myself up. The annoying thing is that I know what's going on but have no will to fix it. I've told Harley that I'm not feeling ok & he tries his best but doesn't really know what to do. I don't really know either, I feel like I should go back on meds but really really don't want to because of bfing. I don't even want to talk to a doc about it because I don't really have one who I feel I can talk to about it all. Sigh my neck is totally fucked & the osteo said that she felt like she was torturing me when she was working because she knew how painful it was, so now I can't do much, can't lift fae much and can barely hold my head up. Blah
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