BDay/Feeling Different
Well I am feeling more like an adult...more so than when I turned 18. I am 19 now. Next year, I will not be a "teenager/adult" anymore, I will just be an adult. Hopefully my days of being immature are over.
Anyway I feel like parts of me are missing and I will never get them back.
Today didn't start out too well...stuff with my mom...hopefully the rest of the day will go better.
Only got like 3 hours of sleep...AND I took AdvilPM...It is supposed to help you sleep not keep you up. I guess I am growing immune to it.
Yeah so right now I feel guilty, because it was my fault my mom was crying...couldn't she have just stayed away from me when she was crying? Did she REALLY have to make me feel bad on my first day of being 19? And does SHE have any remorse for it? I don't think so. And maybe I am not being fair to her, she is just worried and concerned, but couldn't she have saved all her shit for a different day? Maybe she will get it out of her system today and tomorrow will be better.
She is just so annoying sometimes.
My eyes are all irritated from lack of sleep. They are burning and itchy.
Anyway, NIGHTMARE morning. Sometimes life sucks really bad.
I mean damn!! Can't I have a special day? A day without bullshit or feeling guilty or sad or mad or annoyed, ect?
Maybe I shouldn't dwell on it and let it ruin my whole day...
God she is STILL complaining though. And earlier she was making fun of what I said and how I said it when she was talking to my sister about me.
Poem Attempt
------------
Maybe your drama shouldn't affect me
Maybe I shouldn't care
Maybe your guilt trips shouldn't bring me down
But somehow I was feeling better
And you brought me back down
Maybe you didn't mean to
Maybe it wasn't your intention
But you're not really fixing things
By crying and complaining and carrying on
Infections run rampant
Affecting my mind
-----------------
Well that poem wasn't so good...I didn't put enough feeling into. I am going to blame it on being tired and not being able to think clearly or deal with thigns very well right now.
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So now let me pray.
Please god turn this day around.
Please make it better.
Please help me through this and take my pain away.
Lets begin a new day starting this moment and taking away all the things that happened earlier to taint it.
----------------------------------
I guess that is all for now. I don't know if I will post more later today or not.
Love yall internet friends! :)
I hope your morning went better than mine.
Anyway I feel like parts of me are missing and I will never get them back.
Today didn't start out too well...stuff with my mom...hopefully the rest of the day will go better.
Only got like 3 hours of sleep...AND I took AdvilPM...It is supposed to help you sleep not keep you up. I guess I am growing immune to it.
Yeah so right now I feel guilty, because it was my fault my mom was crying...couldn't she have just stayed away from me when she was crying? Did she REALLY have to make me feel bad on my first day of being 19? And does SHE have any remorse for it? I don't think so. And maybe I am not being fair to her, she is just worried and concerned, but couldn't she have saved all her shit for a different day? Maybe she will get it out of her system today and tomorrow will be better.
She is just so annoying sometimes.
My eyes are all irritated from lack of sleep. They are burning and itchy.
Anyway, NIGHTMARE morning. Sometimes life sucks really bad.
I mean damn!! Can't I have a special day? A day without bullshit or feeling guilty or sad or mad or annoyed, ect?
Maybe I shouldn't dwell on it and let it ruin my whole day...
God she is STILL complaining though. And earlier she was making fun of what I said and how I said it when she was talking to my sister about me.
Poem Attempt
------------
Maybe your drama shouldn't affect me
Maybe I shouldn't care
Maybe your guilt trips shouldn't bring me down
But somehow I was feeling better
And you brought me back down
Maybe you didn't mean to
Maybe it wasn't your intention
But you're not really fixing things
By crying and complaining and carrying on
Infections run rampant
Affecting my mind
-----------------
Well that poem wasn't so good...I didn't put enough feeling into. I am going to blame it on being tired and not being able to think clearly or deal with thigns very well right now.
---------------------------------------------
So now let me pray.
Please god turn this day around.
Please make it better.
Please help me through this and take my pain away.
Lets begin a new day starting this moment and taking away all the things that happened earlier to taint it.
----------------------------------
I guess that is all for now. I don't know if I will post more later today or not.
Love yall internet friends! :)
I hope your morning went better than mine.