Double Feature with Ask woofer #7 & #8: "Be Kind...There Will Be Blood"
OK, so i'll combine a couple of my growing list of questions with what i did yesterday...outside of taking pictures to illustrate the questions that i'm answering. It would be nice if i actually did some work, but then again it would be nice if they gave me actual work to actually do, so if they want to pretend, so will i. No matter, i'll be making up for it soon enough.
As you'll recall, i went to the doc's last Thursday for a gamey lymph node that's been buggin' the shit out of me for the past couple of weeks. "Junior" had me on anti-biotics since the last visit, but it has had little or no effect. No, i have absolutely no other symptoms; no headache, no throat or sinus problems, no fever...nothing! So, they took blood and while i was sitting there, the dentist office downstairs called and said they can get me in at 3 the following day to see if the teeth/gums/jaw might be a culprit. In the meantime, cubziz prodded me to ask:
"How hurt will you be if I told you I got confirmation that Junior is sadly straight? ;)"
Now, yes, i saw your follow-up that confirmed that he is and if you look at his bio on their website, he talks about his kids and the fact that he moved from Birmingham, AL, to St Louis to be near his wife's family. That being said, i am not hurt at ALL that he is straight. i mean LOOK him! Not my type at all. Still, i'm not ashamed that that i told him i got my butt worked hard. i mean, right on their homepage they state: "Southampton Healthcare is committed to serving the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, straight and the HIV-positive community." So i am sure they expect lots of buttsechs amongst their clientele.
Relatively new reader, scottokc wanted to know:
"How did you start doing movie poster spoofs?"
Well, Scott, i guess you've noticed that i've done quite a few of them and there haven't been too many movies that i've seen in the past couple years that i haven't done them for. Granted, there was a couple of dry spells in there where i didn't get to go to the movies, but hopefully that won't happen too often. The first one i did was Brokeback woofer almost exactly two years ago. i think i was just joking with somebody and the title came up and then i said, well, i could fit into that poster. So i came up with that one, then a couple of weeks later, we saw "V for Vedetta" and i thought..."w for woofer"! a trend was born. It's just so easy to work the word "woof" into most titles, so they kinda write themselves.
i should have taken moroccomole's advice and steered clear, but i let time and location take precedence and went to see "Be Kind Rewind" at the Chase Park Plaza theatre. Well, he was right, of course. The acting was as amateurish as all the little "sweded" movies that they were making. There were a couple of cute parts, but the whole freaking movie was like it was made by a bunch of losers from the neighborhood. Danny Glover, Mia Farrow and Sigourney Weaver were playing mental patients and and Mos Def was the worst of them all. Jack Black was just being "Jack Black", though he was a bit more sweet here than annoying, but it was no use. Micheal Gondry's "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" was a good enough picture, but these foofy fantasies that he's come up with since are not my cup of tea. To see the best part, go to the website and watch the little mini-movies. Then wait for this to show up on video or HBO or something. And for anyone who needs evidence that rappers are singers should be forced to sit through Mos Def singing over the closing credits. Excrutiating.
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To see the complete Questions 2008 Series, look here.