(no subject)
I haven't written in a while. Listening to Metric's new album and loving it... give it a listen.
I broke up with Ash. I did it via text message, which I feel sort of guilty about, but he lives all the way in Homosassa, and he works til like... 3 in the morning most of the time. We didn't date for much longer than a month, so it's not like we developed a deep relationship or anything. He hasn't spoken to me in a week, and neither has my friend/his roommate Kellianne. I'm just giving them time. I still want to be friends - I don't know want to initiate it until he says something.
maybe he'll never say anything; maybe we'll just bump into one another at walmart and it will be weird. i think maybe i should feel more guilty than i do, but i try to avoid using the word "should" when describing feelings. whatever feelings i have, they are there for a reason, and they are always meant to be there.
that said... so many feelings lately about karen. those are the feelings that i feel "should" not be there, but they always are, and they're so powerful. i can't seem to focus on completing a thought, so i'll get back to this tonight, or tomorrow. i'm re-connecting with friends here; it's nice. and they're good friends, and they care about me and i care about them. it's never one-sided. i never feel like a third wheel. i'm going to applebee's karaoke tonight with chelsea's mom, jamie, devian and his fiancee. they're signing the paperwork on monday at the college and i'm going to be there for it. next halloween they're having a norse wedding, and i get to dress like a bad-ass warrior, so that will be lots of fun. Nikki and her date will probably be at applebee's tonight too, which i feel neutral about... i always go back and forth about nikki. we'll see what happens, i guess. i know she'll behave tonight because she's with her date. she's just a dick sometimes.
anyway, i'll come back to this and delve more into my feelings. so many feelings.
Click to viewI broke up with Ash. I did it via text message, which I feel sort of guilty about, but he lives all the way in Homosassa, and he works til like... 3 in the morning most of the time. We didn't date for much longer than a month, so it's not like we developed a deep relationship or anything. He hasn't spoken to me in a week, and neither has my friend/his roommate Kellianne. I'm just giving them time. I still want to be friends - I don't know want to initiate it until he says something.
maybe he'll never say anything; maybe we'll just bump into one another at walmart and it will be weird. i think maybe i should feel more guilty than i do, but i try to avoid using the word "should" when describing feelings. whatever feelings i have, they are there for a reason, and they are always meant to be there.
that said... so many feelings lately about karen. those are the feelings that i feel "should" not be there, but they always are, and they're so powerful. i can't seem to focus on completing a thought, so i'll get back to this tonight, or tomorrow. i'm re-connecting with friends here; it's nice. and they're good friends, and they care about me and i care about them. it's never one-sided. i never feel like a third wheel. i'm going to applebee's karaoke tonight with chelsea's mom, jamie, devian and his fiancee. they're signing the paperwork on monday at the college and i'm going to be there for it. next halloween they're having a norse wedding, and i get to dress like a bad-ass warrior, so that will be lots of fun. Nikki and her date will probably be at applebee's tonight too, which i feel neutral about... i always go back and forth about nikki. we'll see what happens, i guess. i know she'll behave tonight because she's with her date. she's just a dick sometimes.
anyway, i'll come back to this and delve more into my feelings. so many feelings.