Fever and Cold
Just when you thinks that the Fates had run out of surprises you ends up with a week like this! Not that the weekend went entirely as had been expected either. My somewhat ambivalent mood of the time though was perhaps sadly predictable as I prepared myself for a quiet weekend end away, taking care of the kitty beast whilst the humans were away down in Sheffield, and trying not to get too unpleasantly anxious about the prospect of my forthcoming appointment in Scarborough on Monday. Having accidentally missed the last one, the uncertainty as to quite how this one might go seemed to lend an extra edge of potential fearfulness for my imagination to make hay with. So it was I spent my time at the shop as best I could, herding the odd book and trying not to feel too much like everything and anything I could possibly do would turn out to be wrong regardless of what it might be or with what good intentions it was undertaken. I was then immediately disgruntled by somehow managing to spend a few pounds more than I had been intending when it came to acquiring suitable treats to entertain myself and the moggy with whilst I enjoying the peace and tranquility of the countryside. So I wasn't feeling altogether the perkiest creature as I shuffled through the rainy rains to be greeted by the meowy cat beast and it took me a little while to settle in for the evening. Eventually I did manage to do so however and the animal and I actually managed to have a reasonably restful evening, sitting and watching nonsensical horror film 'Lair of the White Worm' featuring amusing turns from Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi before they came a tedious English fop and gratuitously grumpy Scotsman respectively along with with a good deal of silly nudity and unrealistic gory prosthetics. The next day however turned out to go a little unexpectedly as I found myself a slightly sneezy and fuzzy beast on waking. Quite whether the virus was something I had picked up in my walks through the rain, had been brought in by kitty or picked up in the caravan I don't know but either ways I found myself I mildly dizzy creature. Meanwhile, my time alone was also cut a little shorter than expected as the humans decided they wanted to return a little early than planned from Sheffield in order to avoid the forecast snows. So it was I shuffled back to my little flat after a weekend that was interesting, if not quite as I had anticipated, but little knowing that the seeds for an even more unusual start to the week had already been sown. Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnnnn!
Erm, yes. Anyways, back in my little flat, although the virus had yet to really exert itself I now seemingly had nothing between myself and the pointless scary that was my Scarborough appointment. I slept only intermittently as indeed I had the previous couple of nights too though I'm uncertain as to whether this was down to nerves or virus. Certainly in any case when I opened the front door on Monday morning my trembling heart was not particularly lifted by the sight of the big fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky. Still, I trudged my ways through the uncomfortable cold, rendered just somewhat more cutting by both the sensitivities of my mood and my temperature and stood at the bus stop and waited for the ship of the damned to arrive. It was though but a few minutes before the machine was due that I thought to get out my phone and send out some self-centred grump to post on Facebook on the subject of my general grumpiness that I saw that I had an unexpected message. Turns out the fairy job folk in Scarborough had three of their fairies off sick themselves and so things were a bit hectic at the office and perhaps I ought to choose not to be bringing my own additional disease to add to the mix. Well, of course, me being the thoroughly responsible creature that I be, I reluctantly chose to accede to this request and returned to my abode feeling decidedly strange about this sudden transformation in my circumstances. I did feel like a weight had been lifted and the snowy scenes around me suddenly appeared rather more picturesque than they had previously but a few seconds before! It was a relief, but on the other hand the fact I felt it as so much of a relief was also annoying in its own way. Really I do wish that all this stuff could just be some things that happen rather being laced with so much emotional turmoils but sadly such would seem the sort of creature I happen to be. Anyways, on getting home I was momentarily feeling rather bright and thinking I now had a whole morning to myself I wondered what I should do. It didn't take me particularly long though to come to the conclusion I was exhausted, somewhat feverish and my brains were altogether far too much of a tangled mush to think of any particularly useful thing I should be doing! All I could think to do was go have a bit of a lie down for a while and rests until I yet had to go and scuttle off through the cold once again but this time to the Whitby jobcentre and my appointment there, but at least now I didn't have any worries of being made late for it. Still, fuzzy and squashed as I was I was also somewhat reassured, having been previously been so fearful as to what the consequences of missing an appointment by own actions might be, to miss one because of something else made me feel rather better about that. Meanwhile I await to see when my next appointment might be arranged for, but I have been sent an email asking if perhaps some additional work on my confidence might be helpful to which I can only say, well, d'uh. So maybe I'm yet going to get something really useful out of Scarborough? Well I don't know but I try to remain positive, even if I'm not particularly good at it.
Still, whilst this surprising twist of fate has left me feeling surprisingly good about the world this feverish virus thing has also grown to render me unfortunately rather incapable of taking much action to make the most of this unusual positivity. Hm, there is a price to be paid for all things I suppose. In any case, my disease has managed render the world about me a shade unreal but I suppose that has been assisted by the peculiarities of days of suddenly shifting perspective along with freezing snowy blizzards mixed with warm springy sunshines. It has been rather curiously curious altogether though the result thus far still seems to have been that I haven't quite managed to do anything particularly useful. I have been rather too fuzzingtons and unpleasantly achy to make my way to the Coliseum this week, hopefully they've managed to get on ok without me but I thinks they would probably prefer it that I didn't bring my virus in to share with them either. Meanwhile the weather has left shop rather lacking in terms of customers in any case, although we do no have a shiny new shelving unit in the window, besides our new trio of models, on which I might display the choicest specimens from amongst my flock of books. In my present state however I haven't really been able to do very much in the ways of herding so I'm not sure my book department is quite at its best at the moment but I shall sees how I might be feeling come Friday to see if I can't catch up with some good works there. Of course there are yet the plans to shift the books around to the back wall, apparently meaning we shall be losing a meter of space on the fictions but will be adding an extra shiny space for display of non-fictions. Or something like that anyways, my head hasn't really been properly in place this week to fully take in what the plans are but I suppose we'll see when we gets there. I had rather hoped that today though I might be feeling rather fresher, indeed I went to bed after a little playing around on Guild Wars 2 recovering lost objects for refugees fleeing the terrible new Molten Alliance, feeling relatively more reasonable and yet I woke up today with all sorts of aches and a renewed fuzzy headedness. Hm, not sure where that has come from and it leaves me feeling just a little grumpy since I had hoped to have been able to do considerably more with my traditional day off than I have thus far proved able. Oh well, I do hope that I may be able to chase away this disease before I loses all sense of positivity from the unexpected cancellation of my appointment. I hoped I might be able to make good use of the emotional energies I had saved from not having to face the pointless turmoils by actually doing something worthwhile for once but thus far it doesn't seem to have gone to that sort of plan either. Hm, well, the week isn't done yet I suppose, and we has a new Pope, so who knows, anything might happen right? Erm, I shall sees what I might be able to manage anyways.
Anyways, the events of these past few days have left me with various interesting insights to ponder, if not quite with the kind of brainpowers required to actually ponder them. Broadly though I ponder at just how the smallest thing can seem to result in quite the most dramatic change in my outlook. Then again, thanks to my fuzzy virus, it's not as if I've really managed to make this week that much different in real practical terms than my usual shambolic and mindless efforts. The universe has somehow worked out a way of changing everything without actually changing anything. It's quite impressive really. Still, I am left to wonder as to quite what it might take to alter what would seem to be my fundamental nature of timidity and oversensitive, quite nervousness. Clearly the change of circumstances has done much to change my feelings and were I not all feverish then perhaps I might have made more good stuff happen this week on the back of feeling good about the other thing? As I pretentiously noted in my previous post, Schopenhauer formulated the view that man did indeed have a will that he was free to follow but what that will comprised of was formulated by his innate nature which was not something he had immediately control. Clearly though, people's natures can change. In the words of the Pratchett novel I have just lately finished reading, a leopard can change its shorts! I wonder though as to whether the leopard is capable of changing its shorts all by itself or whether it requires some outside influence, a life changing event or the guidance of some other wise creature, to teach and show it a different way? Hm, well right now my dear reader you will probably be relieved to hear I don't have the strengths to go into such pseudo-philosophical ponderings to any great detail so I shall leave it as a question to be mused upon over the course of time. Still, perhaps this new suggestion of the Scarborough job folk might produce something actually useful and worthwhile for a change? Hm, I'm not sure I've any real reason to think it will but I wants to try and sound positive and keep some of the goodness going until I finally get my head back to the right temperature and properly breathe through my nose once more! For now though I shall return my fever, and hopes that this last gasp of winter cold may soon depart. If I can gathers enough concentration together, there is an interesting Horizon documentary to watch on the nature of how creativity is thought to come about in the human brain. Hm, been a while since I've done anything creative so it might be interesting to see how it actually happens! Heh, in the meanwhile though I do hopes that all you good people out there are yourselves good and well and that after a reasonable week you has pleasant weekends ahead of you. Hopefully I shall yet be alive enough to make some good use of mine. I'll gives it a go in any case. Wish me luck!
Erm, yes. Anyways, back in my little flat, although the virus had yet to really exert itself I now seemingly had nothing between myself and the pointless scary that was my Scarborough appointment. I slept only intermittently as indeed I had the previous couple of nights too though I'm uncertain as to whether this was down to nerves or virus. Certainly in any case when I opened the front door on Monday morning my trembling heart was not particularly lifted by the sight of the big fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky. Still, I trudged my ways through the uncomfortable cold, rendered just somewhat more cutting by both the sensitivities of my mood and my temperature and stood at the bus stop and waited for the ship of the damned to arrive. It was though but a few minutes before the machine was due that I thought to get out my phone and send out some self-centred grump to post on Facebook on the subject of my general grumpiness that I saw that I had an unexpected message. Turns out the fairy job folk in Scarborough had three of their fairies off sick themselves and so things were a bit hectic at the office and perhaps I ought to choose not to be bringing my own additional disease to add to the mix. Well, of course, me being the thoroughly responsible creature that I be, I reluctantly chose to accede to this request and returned to my abode feeling decidedly strange about this sudden transformation in my circumstances. I did feel like a weight had been lifted and the snowy scenes around me suddenly appeared rather more picturesque than they had previously but a few seconds before! It was a relief, but on the other hand the fact I felt it as so much of a relief was also annoying in its own way. Really I do wish that all this stuff could just be some things that happen rather being laced with so much emotional turmoils but sadly such would seem the sort of creature I happen to be. Anyways, on getting home I was momentarily feeling rather bright and thinking I now had a whole morning to myself I wondered what I should do. It didn't take me particularly long though to come to the conclusion I was exhausted, somewhat feverish and my brains were altogether far too much of a tangled mush to think of any particularly useful thing I should be doing! All I could think to do was go have a bit of a lie down for a while and rests until I yet had to go and scuttle off through the cold once again but this time to the Whitby jobcentre and my appointment there, but at least now I didn't have any worries of being made late for it. Still, fuzzy and squashed as I was I was also somewhat reassured, having been previously been so fearful as to what the consequences of missing an appointment by own actions might be, to miss one because of something else made me feel rather better about that. Meanwhile I await to see when my next appointment might be arranged for, but I have been sent an email asking if perhaps some additional work on my confidence might be helpful to which I can only say, well, d'uh. So maybe I'm yet going to get something really useful out of Scarborough? Well I don't know but I try to remain positive, even if I'm not particularly good at it.
Still, whilst this surprising twist of fate has left me feeling surprisingly good about the world this feverish virus thing has also grown to render me unfortunately rather incapable of taking much action to make the most of this unusual positivity. Hm, there is a price to be paid for all things I suppose. In any case, my disease has managed render the world about me a shade unreal but I suppose that has been assisted by the peculiarities of days of suddenly shifting perspective along with freezing snowy blizzards mixed with warm springy sunshines. It has been rather curiously curious altogether though the result thus far still seems to have been that I haven't quite managed to do anything particularly useful. I have been rather too fuzzingtons and unpleasantly achy to make my way to the Coliseum this week, hopefully they've managed to get on ok without me but I thinks they would probably prefer it that I didn't bring my virus in to share with them either. Meanwhile the weather has left shop rather lacking in terms of customers in any case, although we do no have a shiny new shelving unit in the window, besides our new trio of models, on which I might display the choicest specimens from amongst my flock of books. In my present state however I haven't really been able to do very much in the ways of herding so I'm not sure my book department is quite at its best at the moment but I shall sees how I might be feeling come Friday to see if I can't catch up with some good works there. Of course there are yet the plans to shift the books around to the back wall, apparently meaning we shall be losing a meter of space on the fictions but will be adding an extra shiny space for display of non-fictions. Or something like that anyways, my head hasn't really been properly in place this week to fully take in what the plans are but I suppose we'll see when we gets there. I had rather hoped that today though I might be feeling rather fresher, indeed I went to bed after a little playing around on Guild Wars 2 recovering lost objects for refugees fleeing the terrible new Molten Alliance, feeling relatively more reasonable and yet I woke up today with all sorts of aches and a renewed fuzzy headedness. Hm, not sure where that has come from and it leaves me feeling just a little grumpy since I had hoped to have been able to do considerably more with my traditional day off than I have thus far proved able. Oh well, I do hope that I may be able to chase away this disease before I loses all sense of positivity from the unexpected cancellation of my appointment. I hoped I might be able to make good use of the emotional energies I had saved from not having to face the pointless turmoils by actually doing something worthwhile for once but thus far it doesn't seem to have gone to that sort of plan either. Hm, well, the week isn't done yet I suppose, and we has a new Pope, so who knows, anything might happen right? Erm, I shall sees what I might be able to manage anyways.
Anyways, the events of these past few days have left me with various interesting insights to ponder, if not quite with the kind of brainpowers required to actually ponder them. Broadly though I ponder at just how the smallest thing can seem to result in quite the most dramatic change in my outlook. Then again, thanks to my fuzzy virus, it's not as if I've really managed to make this week that much different in real practical terms than my usual shambolic and mindless efforts. The universe has somehow worked out a way of changing everything without actually changing anything. It's quite impressive really. Still, I am left to wonder as to quite what it might take to alter what would seem to be my fundamental nature of timidity and oversensitive, quite nervousness. Clearly the change of circumstances has done much to change my feelings and were I not all feverish then perhaps I might have made more good stuff happen this week on the back of feeling good about the other thing? As I pretentiously noted in my previous post, Schopenhauer formulated the view that man did indeed have a will that he was free to follow but what that will comprised of was formulated by his innate nature which was not something he had immediately control. Clearly though, people's natures can change. In the words of the Pratchett novel I have just lately finished reading, a leopard can change its shorts! I wonder though as to whether the leopard is capable of changing its shorts all by itself or whether it requires some outside influence, a life changing event or the guidance of some other wise creature, to teach and show it a different way? Hm, well right now my dear reader you will probably be relieved to hear I don't have the strengths to go into such pseudo-philosophical ponderings to any great detail so I shall leave it as a question to be mused upon over the course of time. Still, perhaps this new suggestion of the Scarborough job folk might produce something actually useful and worthwhile for a change? Hm, I'm not sure I've any real reason to think it will but I wants to try and sound positive and keep some of the goodness going until I finally get my head back to the right temperature and properly breathe through my nose once more! For now though I shall return my fever, and hopes that this last gasp of winter cold may soon depart. If I can gathers enough concentration together, there is an interesting Horizon documentary to watch on the nature of how creativity is thought to come about in the human brain. Hm, been a while since I've done anything creative so it might be interesting to see how it actually happens! Heh, in the meanwhile though I do hopes that all you good people out there are yourselves good and well and that after a reasonable week you has pleasant weekends ahead of you. Hopefully I shall yet be alive enough to make some good use of mine. I'll gives it a go in any case. Wish me luck!