When I close my eyes it's you I see.
Everything was going wrong at work on Sunday. I had patients in excruciating pain and even though I was doing everything I could, it wasn't enough. One patient couldn't catch her breath. Another wanted to eat more than anything, and I was doing a back and forth with the doctors all day trying to get him answers. But nothing I did seemed to be enough. It was extremely disheartening and exhausting. My patients all thanked me for doing what I could, but I just hated not being able to do more.
Highlight of the day though was one of our patients, who I'd worked with earlier in the week, was finally keeping food down for the first time in weeks. He'd just been lying in bed dizzy and nauseous, unable to keep even a few sips of iced tea down. All of us had been at such a loss as to what to do for him because none of the antinausea meds did a thing for him. But he finally was able to eat! And was asking for foods. One of the other nurses gave him one of the cupcakes I'd brought in to work, and he loved it! I brought him in another and he was thrilled. Told me how delicious it was. :) It just made me so happy to make a difference. I really do love my patients so much.
What I don't love? Performing. I don't know why I always think it'll go well and that it's a good idea. I'm just like not cut out for it. My first static trapeze performance is Saturday, and I think my last rehearsal is tomorrow. Due to injuries and sickness, I have yet to do the whole thing through from top to bottom and I'm terrified. Thinking about it makes me want to seriously throw up. I just can't even think about it. I don't even know what I'm wearing, or my hair, or anything. I just.. ugh, I wish there was more time. I'm going to go try not to vomit now, or at least get a good night's rest so I'll maybe for once be 100% for a rehearsal. Ugh, wish me luck. Later, skaterz.
Highlight of the day though was one of our patients, who I'd worked with earlier in the week, was finally keeping food down for the first time in weeks. He'd just been lying in bed dizzy and nauseous, unable to keep even a few sips of iced tea down. All of us had been at such a loss as to what to do for him because none of the antinausea meds did a thing for him. But he finally was able to eat! And was asking for foods. One of the other nurses gave him one of the cupcakes I'd brought in to work, and he loved it! I brought him in another and he was thrilled. Told me how delicious it was. :) It just made me so happy to make a difference. I really do love my patients so much.
What I don't love? Performing. I don't know why I always think it'll go well and that it's a good idea. I'm just like not cut out for it. My first static trapeze performance is Saturday, and I think my last rehearsal is tomorrow. Due to injuries and sickness, I have yet to do the whole thing through from top to bottom and I'm terrified. Thinking about it makes me want to seriously throw up. I just can't even think about it. I don't even know what I'm wearing, or my hair, or anything. I just.. ugh, I wish there was more time. I'm going to go try not to vomit now, or at least get a good night's rest so I'll maybe for once be 100% for a rehearsal. Ugh, wish me luck. Later, skaterz.