Post 42: Life's Good
First full week is just about complete... can't complain about anything really. I feel good, mentally... which I was last fall semester and I know how that changed the following semester. I am Special Events Chair now -- in charge of the German Club for the year basically. I practically was running things last year, considering how much I was at the German Club. It's a weird feeling because I'm "back in the saddle again," so to speak... being back in charge of something after stepping back from pep band and laying low in USGA. I feel like Paul Heyman in ECW now with Vince McMahon in charger -- another chance to be the man in something I know and love only I'm a few more years wiser and I've got backing now. Now, I feel welcome in USGA... like I'm part of the mainstream and that people respect what I have done. For the last two years, I fought and worked to get to the point that I'm at now -- like an underground band earning cred on the way to mainstream respectability -- but now that I am in the mainstream, it's like, "OK, we want you to do what you just did... on a bigger scale." What... what I did wasn't good enough? I gotta do all that all over again?! It's a little strange but it but I go up to the office now and I honestly enjoy being up there shootin' the shit with the fellow big wigs. Nobody now has a really huge presence -- everyone's on the same level, throwing ideas around, it's just a pleasant atmosphere to be in.
As far as everything else goes... life's just good man. The 306 chicks are awesome -- each one has their own personality, but they're all tons of fun. Definitely breaks up the boredom of 309 at times. I think it's too mellow over here, actually. Then again, I just stay out of shit and keep to myself when I can. I've got my little area and do what I gotta do, that's all.
That's one thing I gotta say about myself: I've really gotten to be much quieter this year, much more reserved and subdued than... ever... or at least as long as I've been in UNH. I remember back in high school and elementary school, most people respected me because I kept to myself, kept my mouth shut and did my work no questions asked. Nothing's changed totally in UNH except for the part where I keep my mouth shut but that was something that had to change. The older you become, the more important making your voice heard becomes -- I have something to say now and I know what I want to say about it -- but once your voice has been heard and the point's been made, there's just no need to keep harping on that point... just say your peace and move on, or go back to what you once were -- what was old has become new by that point. It's been a lot of fun, too. By not saying as much, when I do say something intelligent or deep, it has added gravitas, whereas by saying a racist joke all the time would just lose people... some people can't get over it anyway and it's their problem for being that tunnel-visioned.
For right now, I like myself and I like where I'm at, where I'm headed... it's back to a peaceful stage for me, even if it means not being totally sure about more things than ever. I guess that's what it means to be alive at this point -- knowing when to be able to say that I don't know everything or have everything planned out. I like this... I think I do.
As far as everything else goes... life's just good man. The 306 chicks are awesome -- each one has their own personality, but they're all tons of fun. Definitely breaks up the boredom of 309 at times. I think it's too mellow over here, actually. Then again, I just stay out of shit and keep to myself when I can. I've got my little area and do what I gotta do, that's all.
That's one thing I gotta say about myself: I've really gotten to be much quieter this year, much more reserved and subdued than... ever... or at least as long as I've been in UNH. I remember back in high school and elementary school, most people respected me because I kept to myself, kept my mouth shut and did my work no questions asked. Nothing's changed totally in UNH except for the part where I keep my mouth shut but that was something that had to change. The older you become, the more important making your voice heard becomes -- I have something to say now and I know what I want to say about it -- but once your voice has been heard and the point's been made, there's just no need to keep harping on that point... just say your peace and move on, or go back to what you once were -- what was old has become new by that point. It's been a lot of fun, too. By not saying as much, when I do say something intelligent or deep, it has added gravitas, whereas by saying a racist joke all the time would just lose people... some people can't get over it anyway and it's their problem for being that tunnel-visioned.
For right now, I like myself and I like where I'm at, where I'm headed... it's back to a peaceful stage for me, even if it means not being totally sure about more things than ever. I guess that's what it means to be alive at this point -- knowing when to be able to say that I don't know everything or have everything planned out. I like this... I think I do.