sometimes you'll feel it
title: sometimes you'll feel it
rating: pg-13
genre: angst
pairing: krystal&jessica centric, (implied) jessica&jonghyun, jonghyun&shin, krystal&minho
* please note that i am not hating on jonghyun and shin se kyung at all, i think they're kind of cute, but .. i feel jessica is hating on them.
-
they weren't the type of sisters who spent nights painting each other's toe nails or braiding each other's hair (besides, jessica had hyoyeon for that while krystal would watch movies with sulli.) and for some reason, that was okay with them. krystal had figured jessica was too cold anyways and she wasn't in the mood for frost bite.
(but then she saw her, crushed, broken, in this state that if she saw her at any other time she might call her pathetic straight out to her face, because jessica wanted this. jessica sold krystal's soul into this too - but at that moment, she realized it wasn't about their souls, but their hearts.)
'what do you want!? you're not even supposed to be in here!' jessica's words run at sixty miles per hour as they hit krystal right dab in the face. she holds her breath for a minute, narrowing her eyes at the sight in front of her. she wants to lash out right back at her sister, because it was what they always did - but then she catches glimpse to the papers on the ground. krystal reads the words slowly, each one registering these bitter thoughts: jonghyun & shin se kyung confirmed to be dating!
and for a minute, krystal wants to laugh in jessica's face and tell her she told her so, just like the day she pulled her aside when she found out from victoria what was going on between the two.
'are you stupid? what the hell is wrong with you, you're getting involved in a relationship to some guy when you're so close to reaching the top, what the -' 'krystal, shut up. you don't know what it feels like to feel alone in this business because you've barely scratched the surface, so mind your business.'
krystal watches as jessica furiously wipes away the smeared mascara away from her tired eyes. 'i can hear you whimpering from down the hall,' krystal replies coolly as she stands across from her sister in the darkened empty practice room. (she doesn't know how to feel at that moment, seeing her unnie like this. but for one time in a long time she feels this glint of pain, she sees this glimpse of pain from the ice princess, and the own frost that has come over melts a little and she realizes how numb she has really become.)
'is this what you wanted? to tell me you were right? that i'm stupid, because i really don't want your fucking criticism or smart ass remarks right now krystal, so i'd appreciate it if you would just leave -' 'why, would you rather have sooyoung or taeyeon comfort you? huh? is that it!?' krystal raises her voice a little, but she feels the silence that follows is louder. jessica trembles and krystal can only stare as her sister's eyes don't look frozen, but for a minute warm, warm with the realization that the ice would no longer serve as her facade. in a place far away, jessica had realized this, and she wanted to stay there.
'he said he would never go public with me .. that it was too risky .. so we ended it, and that was okay. and now i see this and i just .. i realize that he wasn't willing to take the risk for me ..' she whispers these things that land at krystal's feet. (krystal looks at them for a minute, pokes at them with her foot, and she doesn't really know what to do about them.)
then suddenly her arm reaches out and her fingers brush against jessica's and then they're laced (and krystal will never admit it, but she thinks their hands actually fit quite all right.) '..i know what it feels like to feel alone in this business,' krystal whispers to jessica through the dark and the silence is breaking them both, but for that minute they like it. she squeezes her sister's hand and continues talking, 'it's .. a lonely feeling .. that i've only dug an inch into, and i all ready feel like i'm crumbling.' krystal sucks in her breath.
'but you're not alone. we're not alone. you have me .. we're the jung sisters.'
it's the first time she's said it, but not the first time she's acknowledged it. (they enjoy the quiet because they're exchanging glances and whispers and hugs and tears, they're blowing away the frost that is slow to melt but they know will eventually disappear.)
-
(krystal doesn't smile at jonghyun at the sm building the next day but instead sits down right next to her sister which earns them looks even from seohyun.)
-
(jessica holds the sobbing krystal in her arms as she cries these broken words that she can understand. because minho doesn't love her, because he loves yuri and seohyun and hara and sometimes she thinks even luna - but he'll never be hers. and jessica tells her it's a lonely world out there and sometimes she'll feel it, but she'll always have her sister.)
rating: pg-13
genre: angst
pairing: krystal&jessica centric, (implied) jessica&jonghyun, jonghyun&shin, krystal&minho
* please note that i am not hating on jonghyun and shin se kyung at all, i think they're kind of cute, but .. i feel jessica is hating on them.
-
they weren't the type of sisters who spent nights painting each other's toe nails or braiding each other's hair (besides, jessica had hyoyeon for that while krystal would watch movies with sulli.) and for some reason, that was okay with them. krystal had figured jessica was too cold anyways and she wasn't in the mood for frost bite.
(but then she saw her, crushed, broken, in this state that if she saw her at any other time she might call her pathetic straight out to her face, because jessica wanted this. jessica sold krystal's soul into this too - but at that moment, she realized it wasn't about their souls, but their hearts.)
'what do you want!? you're not even supposed to be in here!' jessica's words run at sixty miles per hour as they hit krystal right dab in the face. she holds her breath for a minute, narrowing her eyes at the sight in front of her. she wants to lash out right back at her sister, because it was what they always did - but then she catches glimpse to the papers on the ground. krystal reads the words slowly, each one registering these bitter thoughts: jonghyun & shin se kyung confirmed to be dating!
and for a minute, krystal wants to laugh in jessica's face and tell her she told her so, just like the day she pulled her aside when she found out from victoria what was going on between the two.
'are you stupid? what the hell is wrong with you, you're getting involved in a relationship to some guy when you're so close to reaching the top, what the -' 'krystal, shut up. you don't know what it feels like to feel alone in this business because you've barely scratched the surface, so mind your business.'
krystal watches as jessica furiously wipes away the smeared mascara away from her tired eyes. 'i can hear you whimpering from down the hall,' krystal replies coolly as she stands across from her sister in the darkened empty practice room. (she doesn't know how to feel at that moment, seeing her unnie like this. but for one time in a long time she feels this glint of pain, she sees this glimpse of pain from the ice princess, and the own frost that has come over melts a little and she realizes how numb she has really become.)
'is this what you wanted? to tell me you were right? that i'm stupid, because i really don't want your fucking criticism or smart ass remarks right now krystal, so i'd appreciate it if you would just leave -' 'why, would you rather have sooyoung or taeyeon comfort you? huh? is that it!?' krystal raises her voice a little, but she feels the silence that follows is louder. jessica trembles and krystal can only stare as her sister's eyes don't look frozen, but for a minute warm, warm with the realization that the ice would no longer serve as her facade. in a place far away, jessica had realized this, and she wanted to stay there.
'he said he would never go public with me .. that it was too risky .. so we ended it, and that was okay. and now i see this and i just .. i realize that he wasn't willing to take the risk for me ..' she whispers these things that land at krystal's feet. (krystal looks at them for a minute, pokes at them with her foot, and she doesn't really know what to do about them.)
then suddenly her arm reaches out and her fingers brush against jessica's and then they're laced (and krystal will never admit it, but she thinks their hands actually fit quite all right.) '..i know what it feels like to feel alone in this business,' krystal whispers to jessica through the dark and the silence is breaking them both, but for that minute they like it. she squeezes her sister's hand and continues talking, 'it's .. a lonely feeling .. that i've only dug an inch into, and i all ready feel like i'm crumbling.' krystal sucks in her breath.
'but you're not alone. we're not alone. you have me .. we're the jung sisters.'
it's the first time she's said it, but not the first time she's acknowledged it. (they enjoy the quiet because they're exchanging glances and whispers and hugs and tears, they're blowing away the frost that is slow to melt but they know will eventually disappear.)
-
(krystal doesn't smile at jonghyun at the sm building the next day but instead sits down right next to her sister which earns them looks even from seohyun.)
-
(jessica holds the sobbing krystal in her arms as she cries these broken words that she can understand. because minho doesn't love her, because he loves yuri and seohyun and hara and sometimes she thinks even luna - but he'll never be hers. and jessica tells her it's a lonely world out there and sometimes she'll feel it, but she'll always have her sister.)