under the snow
title: under the snow
rating: pg
genre: angst, romance
pairing: iu&thunder
'do you remember?' her voice trails off a little and she breathes. she thinks she hasn't breathed like that in awhile, and it's weird. it's a breath of air, and for one time in a long time, she can actually say it's fresh. she's inhaling the frigid frost, but a part of her thinks it's the warmest feeling she's had in awhile. and then she exhales, the fleeting breath bringing with it all of these feelings that she can't name (apart of her just wants to give it the word pain, but that's barely half of it.)
'do i remember what iu?' he asks her as they stand outside. thunder lets his arms hang by his sides as his feet remain planted in the snow around them. (but there's something else keeping his feet still, next to her, by her, instead of going back inside with the rest of the mblaq crew. the screaming mir and obnoxious joon. something pulled him outside in the first place away from the christmas party, to follow the girl with glassy eyes out.)
'do you remember when you used to call me ji eun?' she whispers with this small laugh. for awhile, she's been thinking about her name. about his name. about their name, 'when i used to be ji eun, because i don't remember.'
pause.
'i don't understand,' he replies. but somehow he does, and he doesn't know how that could possibly be. 'i didn't think you would,' she sniffs, going cross eyed for a minute to look at her red tinted nose. 'but .. i remember when i used to call you cheondung, when you .. when we were just wall flowers. i think those are my favorite times.'
she's rambling. she doesn't know why she's telling him, why she wants him to remember, why she does remember. and for a minute, she decides that's okay, because for that minute, what they have under the snow is enough. (it'll never be enough.) there's a longer stray of silence that doesn't scream anything for either them, but it's a long stray of silence that they want to keep forever.
'i remember when i used to call you ji eun,' he tells her. he lets his knuckles brush against the back of her hand. 'i remember when you used to be ji eun, and i was cheondung. your cheondung,' he mumbles. 'i remember when we used to be in love and -'
she cuts him off because he's ruined her silence and intruded her sanctuary. the air feels heavy again and iu wonders if the tears falling from her eyes are turning into snow, 'we missed the moment. unknowingly, obliviously, we just let it fly by us. over our heads. the moment we fell in love.' she chokes it out and it hurts. they're different now. he's thunder and she's iu. they're not the two who goofed off in the back room and sang covers of songs while he still tried to discover his rapping skills and she couldn't strum all of the guitar chords.
he hears her little whimpers. he hears her broken words that she doesn't have to say, 'i miss you. i miss us. i missed it, being in love, that moment when it all started.' thunder shakes his head and laces his fingers with her.
'we missed that moment. but this moment, right now, under the snow. this is the moment that cheundong falls in love with ji eun all over again. the moment i fall in love with you, all over again.'
and right then, under the snow, that was enough for her.
(one day, she'll ask him if he remembers that moment, and he'll tell her that it's the moment he remembers every time he simply takes a glance in her direction.)
rating: pg
genre: angst, romance
pairing: iu&thunder
'do you remember?' her voice trails off a little and she breathes. she thinks she hasn't breathed like that in awhile, and it's weird. it's a breath of air, and for one time in a long time, she can actually say it's fresh. she's inhaling the frigid frost, but a part of her thinks it's the warmest feeling she's had in awhile. and then she exhales, the fleeting breath bringing with it all of these feelings that she can't name (apart of her just wants to give it the word pain, but that's barely half of it.)
'do i remember what iu?' he asks her as they stand outside. thunder lets his arms hang by his sides as his feet remain planted in the snow around them. (but there's something else keeping his feet still, next to her, by her, instead of going back inside with the rest of the mblaq crew. the screaming mir and obnoxious joon. something pulled him outside in the first place away from the christmas party, to follow the girl with glassy eyes out.)
'do you remember when you used to call me ji eun?' she whispers with this small laugh. for awhile, she's been thinking about her name. about his name. about their name, 'when i used to be ji eun, because i don't remember.'
pause.
'i don't understand,' he replies. but somehow he does, and he doesn't know how that could possibly be. 'i didn't think you would,' she sniffs, going cross eyed for a minute to look at her red tinted nose. 'but .. i remember when i used to call you cheondung, when you .. when we were just wall flowers. i think those are my favorite times.'
she's rambling. she doesn't know why she's telling him, why she wants him to remember, why she does remember. and for a minute, she decides that's okay, because for that minute, what they have under the snow is enough. (it'll never be enough.) there's a longer stray of silence that doesn't scream anything for either them, but it's a long stray of silence that they want to keep forever.
'i remember when i used to call you ji eun,' he tells her. he lets his knuckles brush against the back of her hand. 'i remember when you used to be ji eun, and i was cheondung. your cheondung,' he mumbles. 'i remember when we used to be in love and -'
she cuts him off because he's ruined her silence and intruded her sanctuary. the air feels heavy again and iu wonders if the tears falling from her eyes are turning into snow, 'we missed the moment. unknowingly, obliviously, we just let it fly by us. over our heads. the moment we fell in love.' she chokes it out and it hurts. they're different now. he's thunder and she's iu. they're not the two who goofed off in the back room and sang covers of songs while he still tried to discover his rapping skills and she couldn't strum all of the guitar chords.
he hears her little whimpers. he hears her broken words that she doesn't have to say, 'i miss you. i miss us. i missed it, being in love, that moment when it all started.' thunder shakes his head and laces his fingers with her.
'we missed that moment. but this moment, right now, under the snow. this is the moment that cheundong falls in love with ji eun all over again. the moment i fall in love with you, all over again.'
and right then, under the snow, that was enough for her.
(one day, she'll ask him if he remembers that moment, and he'll tell her that it's the moment he remembers every time he simply takes a glance in her direction.)