fanmix ; lost (jack/kate)
(For lost_land; phase two, challenge 19 - fanmix)
Notes: This is my first fanmix, and I must admit, it took quite awhile to put together! (I have a new admiration for fanmixers, let me tell you!) So, when I was brainstorming this fanmix, I wasn’t sure what direction to take first. I originally thought to do a Jack fanmix (and I still may!) but during the process, I found myself drawn to songs that better fit Jack/Kate than Jack alone. Then I thought to make it a happy couple fanmix, but on further inspection, I decided that ‘happy’ isn’t really what Jack and Kate are about. Angst, longing, desire, betrayal, missed connections, interruptions, heartbreak, misunderstandings, imperfections? Yes. But happy? Not so much. From there, it morphed into almost a narrative format, hitting on some of the moments between them that made up their journey together. At any rate, I hope you enjoy. (youtube links to the songs are at the end of the explanations)
{1} You and Me ; Lifehouse
All of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
Undeniably, there was a mutual attraction between Jack and Kate from the very beginning, but poor Jack, he never seemed totally comfortable playing the flirt. But it was apparent in the way he looked at her that he was falling hard. This song reminds me of their first days together on the island and the beginnings of their friendship, when life was much more simple. (listen here)
{2} Running Away ; Hoobastank
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
What is it I've got to say
To make you admit you're afraid.
Why are you running away?
Their first kiss was so bittersweet and emotionally charged. They finally make a connection, but Kate, unable to deal, predictably runs away, leaving poor Jack to wonder if all woman are crazy. This song fits this moment so well; the repeating chorus is the same as what is written on Jack’s face countless time over the series: “Why are you running away?” (listen here)
{3} Goodbye to You ; Michelle Branch
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time
One of the most heartbreaking moments on the show for me, in terms of Jack and Kate, was Jack watching the Hydra station monitors. After that, a part of him is done; his heart is broken, and for him to keep moving forward, he has to let her go. There is such a sadness, a sense of letting go in this song, which I find fits perfectly with this moment. (listen here)
{4} Far Away ; Nickelback
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
While they spend the beginning of season three physically apart, Jack and Kate spent the latter part of season three very much emotionally apart. After seeing Kate with Sawyer in the cages, Jack began to grow closer to Juliet; Kate ran to Sawyer. During their hike to the radio tower, Jack closed the gap that had been between them with three little words. This song echoes that moment. (listen here)
{5}The Best Deceptions ; Dashboard Confessional
Don't you see, don't you see that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
They live a brief but charmed life back in civilization, but it is a broken one, one that cannot last. Kate lies are so clean and effortless; Jack sees right through her. It breaks his heart. It makes him paranoid. All his feelings of inadequacy and his need to overcompensate bubble to the surface, along with the gnawing feeling that things aren’t how there supposed to be. Even though all of the lyrics of this song might not fit perfectly, there is a feeling of quiet devastation to it that I feel mirrors this scene. (listen here)
{6} Call Me When You're Sober ; Evanescence
Should I let you fall
And lose it all
So maybe you can remember yourself
Couldn’t take the blame
Sick with shame
Must be exhausting to lose your own game
Selfishly hated
No wonder you’re jaded
You can’t play the victim this time
Kate's POV, after her fallout with Jack. The man she loved is spinning out of control, but she can’t fix him. So she stays away. This song clearly articulates some of the feelings she may have had, some of the things she wished she could say. (listen here)
{7} Breathing ; Lifehouse
I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't wanna speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I wanna be
Where I wanna be
In his mission to return to the Island, Jack found his purpose, but he’s not quite himself yet. The man that finds Kate in his apartment is still a broken one, lost one, one who is trying desperately to be who he was before; his night with Kate is one more step in that direction. Their breakup was the catalyst for his spin out of control; Kate’s coming back to him, even if only for one night, helped to bring him back. There is a calm and a quietness to this song that, for me, very much fits their last night together. (listen here)
{8} It’s Not Over ; Daughtry
Let's start over
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.
Jack, on his return to the island. There is a point, during their stay with the Dharma Initiative, in which Jack gives up on the idea they will ever be together again. This comes directly before that point, from the moment he find her in his apartment until he sits beside her on the Ajira flight, he's fighting for her, for them. (listen here)
{9} Desperately ; Michelle Branch
There's something ‘bout the way you looked at me
Made me think for a moment that maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives separately
You looked my way and said, "You frustrate me"
Like you're thinking of lines and times when you and I were you and me
And it's strange that things change, but not me wanting you so desperately
In this scene, Jack reminds Kate of another time and place and request and it is startling how much has changed in the three years between the Hydra station and the Dharma barracks. Jack is wrapping his head around a new way of thinking, a new way of believing; he’s evolving, and Kate isn't sure she like what he’s becoming. She is angry with him still, but a part of her wants the man she loved back; he’s slipping farther and farther away. (listen here)
{10} The Space Between ; Dave Matthews Band
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time.
Jack and Kate's discussion while being held by the Others is indicative of just how far apart in thinking they've become, how large the space between them has grown. Kate's line "It was not all misery." speaks deeply about how she views their turbulent time together, but, at this moment, for Jack, "Enough of it was." (listen here)
{11} Together Again ; Evanescence
Never thought that I'd be leaving you today
So alone and wondering why I feel this way
So wide the world, can love remember
How to get me home to you someday?
I found a world
Where love and dreams and darkness all collide
Maybe this time
We can leave our broken world behind
We'll be together again
All just a dream in the end
All love aside, in the final moments, Jack stays on the Island. Kate leaves. But, at the end of it all, they're together once again; this time, it's forever. (listen here)