Passion chokes the flower, til she cries no more
I'm kind of at a loss as to what to post right now. I wanted to make a post earlier, but I was too rushed to do so. And now that I have an hour to myself, I am finding it rather difficult to morph everything into words. Maybe I will just ramble and catch up on other things.. sometimes that helps.
Went to the store after dropping off Kindergoth this morning, to do some much needed grocery shopping. I can't express how much I hate going into any business during the holiday season. I remember being a child, how I wanted to do nothing more then be out with the masses... But back then, the energy seemed different. I don't know.. it seemed happier. Now everyone around me seems bitter and resentful and obligated to buy things, make huge dinners, and dig themselves deeper into debt. Where did the joy go? What happened to people actually doing these things (except for the debt thing of course) because they wanted to and not because they felt they had to? Perhaps it has always been this way, even when I was a child, and I was just to innocent to see nothing but the magic. I don't know..
Last week, Ecamer and I went to the mall and he bought me the 18 inch version of Dorthy from McFarlane's Twisted Land of OZ series. Where we are going to put it, I have no idea. We still have other 18 inch figures in boxes for this very same reason. Edward Scissorhands, Pinhead, a few Tortured Souls.. Maybe I should just start hanging things from the ceiling.
While at the mall, we went to Rubios and since Kindergoth was with us and lately has had the attention span of a gnat, Ecamer took her into f.y.e. to look at stuff while I finished my salad. Now before I say anything els, I have to admit that I wasn't really in a "mall mood" that day. I didn't dress up like I usually go when I know I am going to go to a place where I will be seen by a lot of people. I had no make-up on at all. My hair was pulled back into a somewhat messy pony-tail. I was dressed in nothing more then a long-sleeved faded black shirt and even more faded black pants. I certainly wasn't going, looking for attention.
Despite all this... While I was sitting there alone, I watched as this older gentleman (60's-70's maybe?) made a beeline for me and when he got to me he stopped. I looked up at him, this person I had never seen before, with my eyebrows raised somewhat waiting for him to say something. And after a moment, he finally said "I want you to know, I really like your red hair"... and then he just wandered off without giving me a chance to react. I just sat there kind of baffled and watched as he walked away.. My only thoughts being "Wait.... what?" and then the realization hit that he gave me a compliment. I do believe it was the first compliment I ever got without me being all prettied up. My mind is still reeling over that one...
Then on Friday, I was finally able to meet with my dear Kelly. We made plans to set up a time where I could come over and have a tarot reading done. Since she is the most accurate person I have met, I only allow her to do them now.. I don't like to have them done too often but one every few months is good. I'm going to try to get it done in early December. No later then early January. I think I will have her help me cleanse my aura too. I always feel better after manipulating energy with her. ^_^
Well, I have caught up on lj comments. (You are all so wonderful.) Now I have to catch up on actual entries. Typing up this mundane post has actually been a bit cathartic for me... I think I feel better now. And as narcissistic as it may sound.. I think it was remembering that older gentleman that helped a bit.
Went to the store after dropping off Kindergoth this morning, to do some much needed grocery shopping. I can't express how much I hate going into any business during the holiday season. I remember being a child, how I wanted to do nothing more then be out with the masses... But back then, the energy seemed different. I don't know.. it seemed happier. Now everyone around me seems bitter and resentful and obligated to buy things, make huge dinners, and dig themselves deeper into debt. Where did the joy go? What happened to people actually doing these things (except for the debt thing of course) because they wanted to and not because they felt they had to? Perhaps it has always been this way, even when I was a child, and I was just to innocent to see nothing but the magic. I don't know..
Last week, Ecamer and I went to the mall and he bought me the 18 inch version of Dorthy from McFarlane's Twisted Land of OZ series. Where we are going to put it, I have no idea. We still have other 18 inch figures in boxes for this very same reason. Edward Scissorhands, Pinhead, a few Tortured Souls.. Maybe I should just start hanging things from the ceiling.
While at the mall, we went to Rubios and since Kindergoth was with us and lately has had the attention span of a gnat, Ecamer took her into f.y.e. to look at stuff while I finished my salad. Now before I say anything els, I have to admit that I wasn't really in a "mall mood" that day. I didn't dress up like I usually go when I know I am going to go to a place where I will be seen by a lot of people. I had no make-up on at all. My hair was pulled back into a somewhat messy pony-tail. I was dressed in nothing more then a long-sleeved faded black shirt and even more faded black pants. I certainly wasn't going, looking for attention.
Despite all this... While I was sitting there alone, I watched as this older gentleman (60's-70's maybe?) made a beeline for me and when he got to me he stopped. I looked up at him, this person I had never seen before, with my eyebrows raised somewhat waiting for him to say something. And after a moment, he finally said "I want you to know, I really like your red hair"... and then he just wandered off without giving me a chance to react. I just sat there kind of baffled and watched as he walked away.. My only thoughts being "Wait.... what?" and then the realization hit that he gave me a compliment. I do believe it was the first compliment I ever got without me being all prettied up. My mind is still reeling over that one...
Then on Friday, I was finally able to meet with my dear Kelly. We made plans to set up a time where I could come over and have a tarot reading done. Since she is the most accurate person I have met, I only allow her to do them now.. I don't like to have them done too often but one every few months is good. I'm going to try to get it done in early December. No later then early January. I think I will have her help me cleanse my aura too. I always feel better after manipulating energy with her. ^_^
Well, I have caught up on lj comments. (You are all so wonderful.) Now I have to catch up on actual entries. Typing up this mundane post has actually been a bit cathartic for me... I think I feel better now. And as narcissistic as it may sound.. I think it was remembering that older gentleman that helped a bit.