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[windelkron]

for a few days/months now i have been filled with the most awful self-loathing. somehow everything i'm responsible for doing is suffering from a lack of motivation on my part. and the one thing that I find myself motivated to do, music, nobody else shares my motivation and i'm left frustrated. I woke up at 9:30 today to go to work, to which I

Comments

i don't know if this makes sense

[faux_phoenix]

plenty of people wake up in the morning and go to shit-ass jobs, sure. they get bursts of motivation to finish what has to be done. but people like that lack what you have--- dreams and desires for betterment. if you really feel like you have to choose between two lives, then you should pick the one that will make you happiest and put all of your energy and faith in it. i mean, it might not be the best idea, but i love art and that is all that i'm going to do for the rest of my life, and i'm confident that i will succeed.
if you truly possess a strong motivation to make music, then that force in itself is something to be revered. it shouldn't matter if anyone shares your passion, because it can be singularly your own. if you take your motivation and marry it with confidence, your music is all that you will really need. last semester i flipped out at school, worrying that a degree in art was pointless and asserting that i was wasting time and money without a back-up plan. my favorite professor grabbed my shoulders and shouted in my face. "if you're good enough, you don't need a back-up plan. you are here to be good enough." ... sort of irrelevant, but maybe applicable?
just be sure of yourself. you're definitely good enough to not need a back-up plan, and my advice is kind of retarded.

feel better