I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday because of the exam and exhaustion, so I let myself sleep in this morning, getting up at 9 a.m. Then I drew a little to relax myself. I've reached a point in my studies where I don't feel that I'm getting any smarter, just circulating the same confusing things round and round inside my head. I have to pass this ( Read more... )

Yesterday I was too tired to shower and I was still feeling faint this morning, so decided to take a nap. 20 minutes turned into three hours, but I really really needed it. Now I feel if not reborn, as least considerably better. From now on I gotta make sure that when the clock strikes 10 p.m. I'm already in bed with lights out and eyes closed. Not ( Read more... )

Forcing myself to read without breaks works. Before work today I read 30 pages which is more than I usually manage in a day, and this was a couple of hours. So instead of studying I'm going to make a habit of studying intently. I'm using http://habitforge.com by the way. It helps you to form a ( Read more... )

I have known for a long time that unless I exercise total control over myself, I can't help procrastinating, which is the main reason for the slowness of my school work. So from now on I'm entering a new form of discipline: total control. In practice it means that I will look at the clock and decide to read for five minutes without letting myself ( Read more... )

I'm not in a very good place right now. Tonight was fun, but I'm really tired. I drank a little and I feel a slight hangover coming on. I feel sensitive and vulnerable. I also feel very alone. This whole studying situation is just so stressful and I want it to go away. I put myself in this predicament and I'm alone in it. Nothing or no one makes me ( Read more... )

I found out I can take the test after all. They give you hope and then they take it away, and it doesn't matter which is the hope and which is the way, because it's all unpleasant.

I find it quite peculiar that I have trouble falling asleep. At least twice, if not three times, I have gone to bed exhausted. My eyes close and my body falls asleep ( Read more... )

Today I found out that I can't attend the test that I'd been studying for, because I've failed it twice in a row. I have to take some other test - any other test - before I can take this one again. I have never been in this situation before, and it's total crap. This past week I have been studying so much harder than ever before in my life and I ( Read more... )