odd, wierd, disturbing, and sad
So, I had a dream last night that I remembered when I woke up. I can honestly say it is the most fucked up feeling I had in a while, remembering that dream.
The only part I remember is that I am trying to get into what I think is a museum, or something similar. Its small, and a group of people is blocking my path because they want to trash the place and wont let me stop them. There is a girl standing in the door way taunting me because she knows I can't do anything to hurt her legally. I remember that she was somebody I didn't like, but don't know who she was in real life, or if she existed at all.
So, being pissed and openly taunted by somebody I didn't like, I took out my knife and proceeded to stab her. I think I started in the throat, then the chest, then the stomach. While I was doing this, she just sort of stared blankly at me, and talked softly about how she didn't really blame me for what I was doing. But here is the really fucked up part (more so than me attacking a girl with a knife), as I was stabbing her she transformed from somebody I hated into somebody that I knew and cared about. By the end I was just trying to finish it and put her out of her misery.
Later in the dream, I was walking around, and I knew I was going to get arrested. But rather than trying to stop me, everybody just sort of looked at me with disgust while I walked around. It made me feel sick to know that everybody knew what I had done, and that my punishment was nothing more than the contempt of those around me. I felt messed up when I woke up. And now when I think about it I feel sick. I can do without that from now on.
On a completely unrelated note, I'm single again. You can't fix some things. We were broken before we broke up, and we were still broken when we tried to get back together. Longing for someone is not the same as loving them, as we both now understand better. I hate this feeling. I hate a lot of things right now, and I don't know how to make that feeling go away.
The only part I remember is that I am trying to get into what I think is a museum, or something similar. Its small, and a group of people is blocking my path because they want to trash the place and wont let me stop them. There is a girl standing in the door way taunting me because she knows I can't do anything to hurt her legally. I remember that she was somebody I didn't like, but don't know who she was in real life, or if she existed at all.
So, being pissed and openly taunted by somebody I didn't like, I took out my knife and proceeded to stab her. I think I started in the throat, then the chest, then the stomach. While I was doing this, she just sort of stared blankly at me, and talked softly about how she didn't really blame me for what I was doing. But here is the really fucked up part (more so than me attacking a girl with a knife), as I was stabbing her she transformed from somebody I hated into somebody that I knew and cared about. By the end I was just trying to finish it and put her out of her misery.
Later in the dream, I was walking around, and I knew I was going to get arrested. But rather than trying to stop me, everybody just sort of looked at me with disgust while I walked around. It made me feel sick to know that everybody knew what I had done, and that my punishment was nothing more than the contempt of those around me. I felt messed up when I woke up. And now when I think about it I feel sick. I can do without that from now on.
On a completely unrelated note, I'm single again. You can't fix some things. We were broken before we broke up, and we were still broken when we tried to get back together. Longing for someone is not the same as loving them, as we both now understand better. I hate this feeling. I hate a lot of things right now, and I don't know how to make that feeling go away.