Oh the madness of it all
So, I was in germany, gradually losing my mind because I was so far away from her. I came home, and we couldn't see each other because she was always busy. Then, just as we are almost through with the business and on to summer together she tells me that she has gotten used to just being a friend that talks online once in a while. She says that her sister has invited her to live with her for the summer in South Carolina. She says that she wants to start out college without being tied to a person who has already experienced college. In short, she told me about all the little things I hadn't wanted to ask, because I thought I might not like the answers. She basically dumped me because I didn't fit with her plans for her future. I was just her option when she wanted me, and now she just wants to be friends. What could I say? I still love the girl, I can't very well tell her to go fuck herself, but sometimes I want to.
I'm currently vacillating between rage and self pity. Its all rather silly and overly dramatic, truth be told, I was really looking forward to having her around at college next year, being able to see her, at least on the weekends. Getting to cuddle with her, getting to wake up next to her, basically just making our relationship into more than just what it was, and what its been.
Something sort of ironic about all of this is that while I was with her but not seeing much of her I thought a lot about how I almost wished I was still single, because I really wanted to fall in love again. The stress and raw emotion that comes with falling for a girl, all melting away with that first kiss, is really something indescribable, and in my opinion it is the sweetest moment of a whole relationship. I was bummed that I would never get to do that again, or at least not for a while, because I'd found a girl I was so happy with. Well, guess thats not a problem any more. Of course, knowing me I wont find a girl I like until the last month of spring semester. Oh well, life's fucked, and then you suffer for your desires.
I'm currently vacillating between rage and self pity. Its all rather silly and overly dramatic, truth be told, I was really looking forward to having her around at college next year, being able to see her, at least on the weekends. Getting to cuddle with her, getting to wake up next to her, basically just making our relationship into more than just what it was, and what its been.
Something sort of ironic about all of this is that while I was with her but not seeing much of her I thought a lot about how I almost wished I was still single, because I really wanted to fall in love again. The stress and raw emotion that comes with falling for a girl, all melting away with that first kiss, is really something indescribable, and in my opinion it is the sweetest moment of a whole relationship. I was bummed that I would never get to do that again, or at least not for a while, because I'd found a girl I was so happy with. Well, guess thats not a problem any more. Of course, knowing me I wont find a girl I like until the last month of spring semester. Oh well, life's fucked, and then you suffer for your desires.