Way to Patriarch!
I wanted to make a segue into something I have noticed recently. I know this isn't applicable to everyone, but this is something I have been noticing lately.
I am a catechist in RCIA, currently. I know I just totally exposed my Catholic identity (not that I have ever hid it). The catechist guides the candidates and catechumens (people wanting to join the Catholic Church) through the process of RCIA, which means Rite of Catholic Initiation of Adults. In a recent review of the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church (for the inquisitive and the captive audience: Baptism, Reconciliation (Penance), Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Last Rites), I realized there was something funny going on. As a child, taught by nuns, I was told that the sacrament of Holy Orders was for priests, monks, and nuns . The Church teaching, however, omits the nuns. And I was also taught by those same sisters that the sacrament of Marriage or Holy Matrimony had an alternate which was the single celibate life . And guess what? That's not true either! But it was an incredibly empowering thing for the nuns to teach us young, impressionable children.
Ok, ok, so some people may now pat me on the head and say "way to recognize the patriarchy, Wilde" but I have to admit, I really try not to pay attention to the hierarchy because I hate it so much.
So...I decided to debate this with my lead. And she had no answers. But it worked me up, because it basically reinforced that I am a throwaway person. There is no value to my singlehood. And the example I used on my lead was that "if I were a lesbian by orientation, but had decided through prayer and abstinance not to practice my orientation (and thereby avoid sin) and remain a single celibate woman, I would find these teachings hypocritical and painful. In essence, as an unmarried woman, I would have no value to the sacramental life of the church; as I cannot marry a partner, and I cannot be ordaied since I don't pee like Jesus, I am a throwaway person." She just looked pained. (Ok, I didn't say the thing about peeing like Jesus. She would have looked a lot more than pained if I had. And note I really only mean Catholicism in THIS instance. Other churches have their own things that I disagree with. Because people constitute religions.)
The saddest thing is, I have tried "shopping around" Christianity. And really, in the churches in my range of attendance, single women are either in need of being married, or are to be pitied because they can't get a man; being unmarried is a pitiable state, and so is being childless. Virginity is a prize, but not one you want to have at my "advanced" age. I ought to be married and settled.
Sigh.
But the funny thing is? Really, unless I think about how it irritates me, it doesn't. Maybe because I can ignore it in everyday life. Maybe, deep down inside, I really AM just waiting for some man to sweep in and carry me away (he'd have to be a very, very strong man, and probably blind...).
Am I oversensitive to this issue? I don't think so.
I am a catechist in RCIA, currently. I know I just totally exposed my Catholic identity (not that I have ever hid it). The catechist guides the candidates and catechumens (people wanting to join the Catholic Church) through the process of RCIA, which means Rite of Catholic Initiation of Adults. In a recent review of the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church (for the inquisitive and the captive audience: Baptism, Reconciliation (Penance), Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Last Rites), I realized there was something funny going on. As a child, taught by nuns, I was told that the sacrament of Holy Orders was for priests, monks, and nuns . The Church teaching, however, omits the nuns. And I was also taught by those same sisters that the sacrament of Marriage or Holy Matrimony had an alternate which was the single celibate life . And guess what? That's not true either! But it was an incredibly empowering thing for the nuns to teach us young, impressionable children.
Ok, ok, so some people may now pat me on the head and say "way to recognize the patriarchy, Wilde" but I have to admit, I really try not to pay attention to the hierarchy because I hate it so much.
So...I decided to debate this with my lead. And she had no answers. But it worked me up, because it basically reinforced that I am a throwaway person. There is no value to my singlehood. And the example I used on my lead was that "if I were a lesbian by orientation, but had decided through prayer and abstinance not to practice my orientation (and thereby avoid sin) and remain a single celibate woman, I would find these teachings hypocritical and painful. In essence, as an unmarried woman, I would have no value to the sacramental life of the church; as I cannot marry a partner, and I cannot be ordaied since I don't pee like Jesus, I am a throwaway person." She just looked pained. (Ok, I didn't say the thing about peeing like Jesus. She would have looked a lot more than pained if I had. And note I really only mean Catholicism in THIS instance. Other churches have their own things that I disagree with. Because people constitute religions.)
The saddest thing is, I have tried "shopping around" Christianity. And really, in the churches in my range of attendance, single women are either in need of being married, or are to be pitied because they can't get a man; being unmarried is a pitiable state, and so is being childless. Virginity is a prize, but not one you want to have at my "advanced" age. I ought to be married and settled.
Sigh.
But the funny thing is? Really, unless I think about how it irritates me, it doesn't. Maybe because I can ignore it in everyday life. Maybe, deep down inside, I really AM just waiting for some man to sweep in and carry me away (he'd have to be a very, very strong man, and probably blind...).
Am I oversensitive to this issue? I don't think so.