reality
on wednesday, september 7th, 2005...i officially start my senior year. and thats just more than a little terrifying. i was really just taking it all in today when i was driving to tanger outlets with my dad. i was sitting there, literally driving on the LIE when it hit me...here i am, driving a car, after ive just fixed my schedule for my senior year..hearing my dumbass guidance councelor tell me how proud she is of me and how well rounded i am and how ive made a great selection of courses...and i dont know why i thought of it, but i started thinking of college applications, and that scared me. i know its normal to not know where you want to go or what you want to do, and its even normal to be scared...but im like beyond scared..im paranoid, anxious, and sort of having a breakdown..im so scared to just be on my own..a few of my closest friends know, that my biggest fear is loss..ive dealt with ALOT of loss in my life, and im scared of losing my friends, my secirity..im scared of being alone and growing up and having to go to college.
even just being a senior like freaks me out. the fact that we can drive flips me out so much..i really dont know why.
im genuinely like panicking and having anxiety attacks about school..
i dont want this to be the last year of choir, or drama...or being with the friends ive made these past years of high school
basically, i just sort of want to stop time..
even just being a senior like freaks me out. the fact that we can drive flips me out so much..i really dont know why.
im genuinely like panicking and having anxiety attacks about school..
i dont want this to be the last year of choir, or drama...or being with the friends ive made these past years of high school
basically, i just sort of want to stop time..