Gau Maata
Taken from the UAE community blog, with innovations:
DUBAIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.
QATARI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.
BAHRAINI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and brandish Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.
LEBANESE SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.
EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!
ISRAELI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You capture two more from the Palestinians and keep the captured ones behind a security fence. Meanwhile, Bibi Netanyahu claims rights over all cows, so Hamas fires Kassam rockets at the original two cows.
AMERICAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
INDIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. The government usursps both the cows and instead, hands the naïve public a couple of bulls. The Indian public milks the bull and swallows it all down without any complaints.
FRENCH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.
RUSSIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
BRITISH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You give one to the Americans and one to the British and you go back to shagging sheep!
DUBAIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.
QATARI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM:
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.
BAHRAINI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and brandish Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.
LEBANESE SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hizbollah.
EGYPTIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are voting for Mubarak!
ISRAELI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You capture two more from the Palestinians and keep the captured ones behind a security fence. Meanwhile, Bibi Netanyahu claims rights over all cows, so Hamas fires Kassam rockets at the original two cows.
AMERICAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
INDIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. The government usursps both the cows and instead, hands the naïve public a couple of bulls. The Indian public milks the bull and swallows it all down without any complaints.
FRENCH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.
RUSSIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
BRITISH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You give one to the Americans and one to the British and you go back to shagging sheep!