What I Don't Wanna Post on SSF 02
A LITTLE SOMETHING AMONG FRIENDS PART 2
She made her way back to her room. She lied about her wallet. She knew that Yoona knew that, too. She seemed to know everything. It wasn’t something to be proud of, though. It wasn’t going to take her anywhere. She locked the door.
“You were out?”
“You know where I was,” she answered. “You messaged, remember?”
“Right. I was just kidding,” went the reply.
She approached her bed, lied down and took a breath. She saw a slight smile, someone hovering above her not too long after. She kept still, forced her hands down her pockets, and then swallowed. She had been straddled.
“Soon-”
Soft. Slow. Really good teasing. She expected nothing less. With intentions or not, it felt nice. It felt nice to be warmed, to be held and to be wanted. For once, it was real. For once, she could relate.
She parted her lips, closed them again and felt a lower lip in between. She tilted her head and went for the upper. Hands still in her pockets, she kissed back like that. She was okay with that. There wasn’t a need to go further. Just closed eyes and her hands safe in her pockets.
A tiny giggle.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Nothing. It’s just so different.”
Still straddled, she took her hands out of her pockets and held the other girl by the waist as she changed into a sitting position with the other girl in between her legs. “It’s because I don’t want to,” she said.
“I know that, Hyo.”
She blinked. I just don’t want to. “But a while ago, in the van... it felt like-”
“You don’t have to tell me about that.”
She knew that. “But I didn’t mean to.” She let herself fall into the other girl’s arms. She let herself be held and cared for. “Soonkyu…” she muttered. “Sunny…”
A small pat on the back.
“It’s not like it’s the first time,” Sunny said.
“And it might not be the last, either,” Hyoyeon replied. “Aren’t you scared?”
Sunny shook her head. “No. It’s normal to want something. It’s normal to want to get it, too. Just be happy you can get it anytime you want. Imagine having to put your hands in your pockets not because you want to because you need to. That’s what you should be scared of.”
Hyoyeon did not reply at once. She closed her eyes and pulled Sunny closer. Trapped in a hug, she trapped Sunny back. “You’re smart, Soonkyu. Really smart,” she whispered.
“You say I’m smart, but you don’t like me,” Sunny whispered back.
“I do. I do like you.”
“Not enough to hold me for real.”
“Enough to know when I should.”
She ended the hug, caught Sunny’s lips and gave everything back just as soft and just as slow, her palms almost pressing against Sunny’s as she did so. No more hiding. No more pockets. Just closed eyes and moist lips.
Where the time went, she didn’t know. The view outside her window seemed to be a clue. The lights were beautiful. Billboards everywhere. Neon colors traced the horizon. Pitch black back drop. Like a set for some play. She wondered how she would be able to conquer it all when nighttime Tokyo stood before her, intimidating and huge. Now, that was something worth thinking about.
“Taking a walk, too?” she said the moment she stepped into the hallway.
“Yeah. I just woke up.”
Hyoyeon smiled. “Ah. Me, too. Wanna walk together?”
“Okay.”
She kept checking her phone. No messages and no calls. It was nearing dinnertime. They had been walking from the lobby to the casino entrance and back for more times than she could count. Walking was literally just walking.
“You’ve been really silent, Taeng,” she said. “It’s kinda awkward.”
Taeyeon replied with a smile.
“Something bothering you?”
Taeyeon shook her head. “No. Not at all.”
They were approaching the lobby when she pulled Taeyeon by the arm and held her in place. “Wait,” she managed to say. “Just… stop for a while.”
Taeyeon blinked. “What for?”
“Let’s try to play.”
Bells. Lights. Tapping on tables. Shuffling. A whole lot of howling. Not-so-silent whispers.
“Come on! We’re gonna win this, Taeng! Just one more go, I swear!” she said, all smiles.
Taeyeon bit her lip. “I dunno, Hyo. Let’s just cash in.”
“Aw, don’t be like that! One go! I swear!”
Taeyeon held her breath and stared at the wheel. “What are the odds, huh?” she muttered. She glanced at Hyoyeon’s confident smirk and just had to lay a bet. “Fine!” she said with a wide smile. “Let’s do this!”
Red. Black. Odd. Even. Neither one knew a lot about the wheel. It made for good fun, though. One more roll. One gosh darn lucky roll. Cash in. A good round of laughter shared. A walk back to the lobby.
“Man, that was awesome!” Hyoyeon cheered, her arm linked with Taeyeon’s.
“We should go back and-”
“Woah there, Taeng.” Hyoyeon pulled her friend back and set her back on course. “We already won a lot so chill.”
“But what if we-”
Hyoyeon shook her head. “Nuh-uh-uh.”
Taeyeon sighed. “Fine.”
Hyoyeon giggled. “Kko kko ma.”
“Hyoraengi,” Taeyeon replied.
“Mung Taeng.”
“Hey!”
“Just kidding.”
Silence.
They were already past the lobby, just in front of the elevator.
Prolonged eye-contact.
Hyoyeon cleared her throat and unlinked her arm from Taeyeon’s. “Sorry. I was just joking,” she said.
Taeyeon nodded. “I know. It’s just a nickname.”
“Right. Just a nickname.”
Hyoyeon pushed the button, calling the elevator from the top floor. Both of them watched the red symbols flash.
“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Hyoyeon said as she glanced at Taeyeon.
“Yeah! We should do it more often. Play around, I mean,” Taeyeon replied.
“You bet. Maybe tomorrow we can-”
The elevator arrived and they got on. Silence hung above them once more. Awkward.
“So… what now?”
Hyoyeon shrugged. She was standing by Taeyeon’s door. “I dunno.”
“Uh, want to do the math for the money-split?”
“The what?”
“Splitting what we won, I mean,” Taeyeon said. “Or don’t you want to share it with me?”
“Oh! You meant the-Never mind. Okay! Let’s do it.”
Hyoyeon let herself in and Taeyeon closed the door. It was dark.
“Fifty-fifty?” Taeyeon asked as she turned the lights on. “Or should you get more?”
Hyoyeon did not answer. She knew where Taeyeon was going with this. She seemed to know everything. “Where are you, Kim Taeyeon?” she said. She was betting it wouldn’t get her anywhere.
“Me? I’m right here,” Taeyeon replied, pointing to herself.
Hyoyeon approached her leader then cornered her against the wall, next to the light switch. “You don’t have to hide yourself from me, Kim Taeyeon. What kind of friend asks how to split money? It’s awkward,” she said. Then she heard Taeyeon swallow. She was close enough to touch Taeyeon’s throat with her nose. “Oh look!” she said, pointing upwards. Taeyeon quickly tilted her head.
There wasn’t anything worth mentioning. Taeyeon returned to her previous position-
“Gotcha!”
Sneaky.
Once her lips were freed, Taeyeon laughed, finally opening up with raw emotion. “Kim choding,” she said, hugging Hyoyeon’s waist.
“ByunTaeng,” Hyoyeon replied. “Hey.”
“What?”
“Let’s try.”
They just had to lay a bet.
She ate dinner alone, sat by the poolside then remembered forgetting about shopping.
“Of all the things that I could-Sica?”
“Hyo,” Jessica replied with two books in hand.
“Shopping, too?”
“Just for books.”
“Hm, to think that hotels have bookstores now.”
Jessica giggled. “I know. Things have changed, I guess.”
“Right.”
“So… do you want help with shopping or something? Or would you-”
“Sure,” Hyoyeon answered. “Thanks.”
They went through clothes, came back with nothing.
“So how have you been spending your time?” Jessica asked while they walked.
“Went to a stylist, went back to my room, played a bit of roulette. You?”
“Signed CDs and slept a bit,” Jessica replied. “You went to a stylist?”
Hyoyeon giggled. “I have no freakin’ idea why I had to, I swear. Manager oppa just told me to go and-But enough about that. It’s kinda weird thinking back to it now.”
Jessica nodded. “I know what you mean.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The things I did today have been… I dunno.”
They stopped walking.
“We don’t talk about it, do we?” Hyoyeon said.
“What’s there to talk about? It just happens.”
“But we don’t know why.”
The elevator took too long and the stairwell was deserted. Obvious choice for both of them.
It wasn’t the first time and neither one wanted to know why it wasn’t the last. It happens. Gentle strokes and pecks on the cheek. All the time. They moved from one landing to the next, working their way up. Jessica held on to the railings, being wary of her sweaty palms and the books she placed under her arm. On and on and on. Then Hyoyeon took a big breath. They don’t talk about it.
She walked Jessica back to the eighth floor and even held her books for her.
“Here. Have a good read,” she said.
Jessica smiled as she took her books. “Thanks. You should relax. Take a shower or something.”
“Yeah. You should, too.”
After a left turn, supposedly back to the elevator, she had to stop. The deserted stairwell was one thing, but a deserted hallway was-
“Guys!” she called out.
Distance established. Lips now apart.
“Hyo, we… I mean-”
Hyoyeon shook her head as she approached the other two members. “It’s okay, Yul,” she said. “Just not here.”
“I’m sorry,” Yuri muttered. “It was all me, I promise. Fany had nothing to-”
“Of course I did,” Tiffany admitted. She flashed Hyoyeon a smile. “But it won’t happen again. Not here, anyway.”
Hyoyeon nodded. She was about to leave when it kicked in. Laying bets and moving up stairwells didn’t do anything for her. She knew, but she wanted to know more. She pulled Tiffany close, nipped her lower lip and let go, did the same to Yuri and stood there, waiting to get slapped.
“Uh, what was that about?” Tiffany asked with her index finger over her lips.
Yuri looked like she was about to laugh.
Hyoyeon sighed, a big smile plastered on her face. “Finally, someone asks.”
“It was a weird thing to do so I had to ask,” Tiffany said.
“What is it about?” Yuri added.
“Just that I thought we should talk about it. Isn’t anyone bothered by this at all?”
Yuri and Tiffany exchanged a glance.
“Uh, okay,” Hyoyeon said, sensing the uneasiness about to come her way. “Never mind then. I’ll leave you two to-”
“Yeah, we should talk about this,” Tiffany said. “You’re right.”
“Yup,” Yuri added.
That was a first. She didn’t know if it was going to be the last. She didn’t know whose room, with how many of them and when. A good five-minute talk before the three of them shared a moment. The lights were beautiful.