Illusion 5
We are paragliding. I have read about it in magazines, it is the new crazy thing that people are dying to do. I look around the hill where we are at, the mountains that surrounds us. It feels like we are in another world, peaceful and beautiful.
As the instructor tells me everything I have to know, I keep on shooting glances at Yonghwa who is already preparing for takeoff. He looks so experienced, as if he has been doing this for numerous times already. While on the other hand, I feel like I’m back to being seven years old attending my first horseback riding class.
Scared, excited and nervous all at the same time.
I am never a fan of extreme sports or any kind of it. And I don’t have any idea why on Earth he decided to bring me in such place.
“It’s going to be alright” I hear his voice, a bit teasing but helpful.
I roll my eyes, avoiding any eye contact again. I do not want him to think that I’m being sissy about this despite my slight nervousness. I gasp when he and his instructor quietly takes off, flying up to the blue sky. I see his eyes looking down at me, waving with enthusiasm.
“Are you ready?” The instructor asks, checking the wires for the nth time.
I sigh, balling my fist and nod. Within the minute and with his instructions, we are off to the sky. I couldn’t feel the same nervousness I am feeling while we are still on the ground. Now I am flying, it feels good, no, more than good, it feels great to see everything under my toes. I couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh, the feeling driving all problems away like magic. I have always thought if it is possible to fly away, to see how it is to watch the world revolve beneath me.
Smiling as the wind caresses my face, seeing the trees dance in a harmonic beat makes my smile bigger. It is only done in fifteen minutes but the overwhelming positive emotions my heart is taking is enough. More than enough to purge all the dark clouds my mind keeps on entertaining.
Without any thought, I laugh my heart away as we settle in a safe part at the landing ground. My smile lingers on my face even after the instructor removes all the wires around my lower body.
“Cool, huh?” Yonghwa asks, offering me playful smile.
I nod, looking around the almost empty area. Inhaling the fresh air of Mount Jungkwang, we start walking over to a plantation few meters south the landing area. The green field is endless, like it is covering a large part of the mountain with its growing and strong roots.
“There’s actually an ocean here” His soft voice almost echoing in the vast surrounding.
I quietly follow his lead, watching his back figure in front of me. He looks peaceful when he’s out in the university or maybe he really is like this. I don’t have any single clue how is at free times like this. I heave a sigh, heart pumping in awe with the wonderful crystal blue ocean smiling at us.
My eyes close on its own when the salty but refreshing wind dances, I hold my long hair to my chest and thank whoever for this moment.
“HEY!” I shout but with a hint of pleasure in it when I feel a sprinkling of cold water on my bare legs.
He chuckles, still up to showering me with his foot. I just glare at him, hopping to the side so he would stop. I set my eyes to the farthest blue ocean in front of me, beaming with the sparkling part of it. I feel like a child once again, the times when my parents were willing enough to bring us to the ocean. I remember I used to love it, the sound of the waves, the echoes I could create.
I used to love life before.
Another splash of water is enough to bring me back to my senses, it wets my shorts a bit and I just have to run after him for revenge. Of course, being a basketball player, I am already panting and he is still up for another round of running. I slowly walk to the water, shivering a bit with the contact of it with my feet.
When I feel his hand on my back, probably guiding me as I walk, I quickly squat to splash a good amount of salty water right on his face. The way he crunches his face makes me laugh so much that I am already feeling my stomach ache. He catches me into his arms and carries me off the water. I wriggle my feet against him, wanting to be free. But he doesn’t put me down until I am too tired to move my feet and changes to slapping his back nonstop.
He is chuckling when he lays me down to the sand carefully. I laugh out all the feelings that are currently swimming inside my chest, the contentment of being in this place, the raging emotions towards my father and everything in between. The laughter sounds different as I hear it within my system, it sounds bitter and pathetic. My shoulders start shaking in a horrible motion, my stomach starts to feel a bit painful and I somehow feel strange all of a sudden.
I put both of my hands over my face to cover it from the salty sprinkles but all I feel is tears flowing out of my eyes. I stay like that for a long time, absorbing what is currently occurring. It feels unreal that I am crying, finally receiving an opportunity to release all the pent up emotions I have inside. I know that I don’t sound laughing anymore as the sobs become more difficult to hide. I stare up at the blue sky, sight a bit blurry due to my tears.
‘What is this, Jonghyun?’ I ask the wind that might bring my thoughts to where my brother is. I let the tears flow down on the side of my eyes, memorizing and relieving the awkwardness and fresh feeling of it. I almost forget about the guy lying beside me, he is intelligent enough not to do anything while I make a mess out of myself.
I finally calm my shoulders down, closing my eyes to lessen the sobs, suddenly his hand envelopes into mine, and he quietly and quickly interlaces his fingers with mine. I don’t have any strength to do anything so I let him. I let his warmth melts within me, giving an unusual feeling of strength and security.
Letting the time passes by with just lying and holding each other’s hand, I finally get back into my senses and stand on my feet. I untangle my hand with his and wipe all the tears away, taking a deep breath making a little shaking of my voice at the end.
I finally remember how good it feels to have all my emotions out through tears. It may not help solve anything, it can ease up the heaviness of the heart. As I exhale my smile softly, grasping the lightness of my chest. The feeling of rejuvenation adds up to my choice of letting go of my problems even just for today.
There are sands that are stuck between Yonghwa’s hair while we are walking back to the road. I unknowingly ruffle my fingers into the back of his head, effectively removing the sands from it. He has his eyes widened and mouth agape when he turns to look at me. I know it is an intimate gesture, something I wouldn’t even imagine doing when I am in my right mind.
The insanity of this day is already getting into my system.
I shrug him off and continue following his lead. My eyes shifting to the beauty preserved in this place. Within five minutes, we are back on the road making our way back to the city. We reserve the two hours inside the car with silence, I listen to the awkwardness that’s starting to look stupid for the both of us. He silently stops the car over the valet at the hotel back in Seoul.
Entering the familiar restaurant at the fifth floor, I inhale the delicious smell from the buffet table. I have been in this place since I was a child, I belong to a parents who are born with silver spoon in their mouths, anyway. And I always dine here with Minhyuk too.
“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Jung Yonghwa and Ms. Seo Joohyun” The head chef hurriedly greets us while we are lining up over the buffet. I manage to force a smile while putting a bit of the Japanese food on my plate. However, Yonghwa, probably taught to have a good communication skills to everyone especially special and known individuals, replies professionally.
We eat at the same table, earning another mental punch from myself. If I have woken up in my own bed, I will probably never imagine myself eating out with Jung Yonghwa. But, again, the day already started weird.
“You eat only that little?” Yonghwa suddenly asks, after munching the steak he got from the other side of the buffet table.
I shrug, playing with my last sushi for a bit before plopping it into my mouth. I don’t really have a big appetite, a problem that Jonghyun and Minhyuk have been trying to solve over the years. Maybe that’s why I have a thin figure.
“Come on. You know what I always do whenever I’m here?” He stands from his seat and holds my arm to pull me back to the food. He brightly gives me another plate and fork, his playfulness coming back to life. I realize that he looks better when he shows his toothy smile and his eyes are twinkling with mirth. “Stand while eating”
I laugh, much to my dismay and to his surprised, because he looks like he just spilled the greatest idea ever when it is nothing but stupid. But he manages to hide his amazement of what is happening by chuckling while shaking his head. He drops almost everything in my plate, earning a huge reaction from me.
“I can’t eat this” My voice sounding whiny when I continue following him around the table.
“We’ll share” He picks up two egg rolls from the plate and munches it in a disgusting way.
Shaking my head, I follow his lead and eat some of the food on the plate while we walk over the window, watching the view of southern part of Namdaemun. We quietly fall back to our silence, still eating our hearts desire.
“Sir Yonghwa” He quickly turns his head and greets the stranger. “Here’s the ticket that you asked for” I continue looking outside, not feeding my curiosity for the first time today.
“Thanks” He lets another few minutes pass by before grabbing the plate from my hand. “Should we go?” I finish the juice I am drinking before following him out of the restaurant before he slides his card over the counter.
I glance at him through the mirror while we are inside the elevator. With the way his eyes are already staring right back at me, his lips in the unfamiliar thin line but his eyes still shining with playfulness, it reminds me of Shinhye. How she should be enjoying her life right now. And deep inside in the corner of my heart, my curiosity is scorching hot it can’t be ignored.
“What happened with Shinhye?” I bury my hands inside the pocket of the shorts, too late to even think of cursing myself from slipping.
His eyes quickly blend into dark hue, almost softening and hiding all the vulnerability somewhere. Shinhye is that important for him and it somehow makes my inside warm. “Leukemia. Chronic Leukemia” His voice sounds low and almost husky, probably his vulnerability slowly making its way out. “She was 16 years when she was diagnosed. We are just thankful that our parents are capable enough to afford all treatments possible” Our steps suddenly slow as we step out of the elevator, relishing the solemn atmosphere we are having. “She just had her bone marrow transplant two days ago” I watch how he curves his lips upward, sounding more than grateful for the great news. “She’s getting better…she will”
I have always been an emotional girl, the kind that feels sad quickly when I see tears from someone. And maybe the old Joohyun is coming back, just like how I may found the key to the gate of my tears’ dam. I take a loud sigh, understanding how exactly he is going through with his sister’s situation.
“She will be better. I have to get to know her, right?” I say, stern and positive.
He looks at me and nods with his signature smile. “She had been dreaming about that” He informs, buckling his seatbelt, his eyes still on me.
I cross my eyebrows and look back at him curiously.
“She’s your junior, remember? She’s one of the hundreds who want to be with you then” He simply says, hiding a smirk while I drown in my thoughts.
My high school years were spent aiming for the top spot, participating in charities and activities as much as my schedule from separate classes my parents forced me to take with Jonghyun would allow and less memories with friends. Hyoyeon, Nicole and Minhyuk were understanding enough to let me do what I want then, always available whenever I can squeeze a short free time during my breaks. There were few faces I could remember that bother me during parties and activities but I was never one for relationships or unnecessary friendships.
Shinhye had been a known student even during her first year. It must be her porcelain-like features, outgoing personality and her background, it was the reason why I knew her. But we were never given a chance to share any conversation or anything.
“Hmmm” I whisper thoughtfully, finally snapping out of my thoughts after noticing the familiar venue for the basketball games. I just remember that he was supposed to have a practice game with his team before the actual game.
The stadium’s parking lot are already filled with cars but since he is part of the playing team, he is able to take a reserved slot. I follow him through the back entrance of the place when he notices that the line for the audience is quite long. I could already hear the loud noise and excited sound of the drums inside the court while we are walking inside.
There are few fans who asked for pictures before we reach their locker room. He really seems more popular that I give credit him for. He handles the girls in a friendly way as if it is not the first time someone approached him like that.
“Here’s your ticket, you should see your staff around in that area” Yonghwa announces, extending his hand to give the ticket.
I nod, reading the information written on it after receiving it. Looking back up at him, I finally recognize the sudden uncomfortable silence that takes over between us. He looks like he is about to do something but the way his eyes flicker uncertainly, he looks like he’s holding back.
“Yonghwa! You’re finally here. Coach is about to fume that you aren’t around yet” Lee Jungshin, part of the team, steps out of the locker room, already ready for the final game. “Oh Seohyun, it’s nice to see you again” I bow slightly at him before he walks away from us.
“You should go” I say, my voice sounding a bit tiny.
“Yeah. You will be out there, right?” I nearly want to burst out into laughing when he looks like he would cry if I would leave him out. Nobody would think that Jung Yonghwa would someday sound like a real spoiled kid.
I smile a bit and nod, thinking if I could indulge him through it. Silence once again, I am supposed to find my seat now but there is something that is holding me back. I don’t know what is it so I continue looking right back to his eyes, finally noticing the mole that is located right under his right eye.
“See you later” He finally puts his hand on the knob and turns his body to the door.
‘It is now or never’ I think. “Yonghwa” I call, making him turn his head. I take a deep breath, feeling a bit nervous as I step closer to his and awkwardly raise my toes and leaving a quick peck on the side of his lips. I intend it to be on his cheek but since he is a head taller than me, I feel my lips brush against his for a second. “Good luck”
I never turn back as I hurry to get inside the court.
I must be out of my mind to even think of doing that. To even think of kissing him for a good luck. It feels so quick, the way my mind think of doing something for his efforts, anything to make him see that I appreciate this day because he lets me forget my life even just for today. But I don’t know anything about expressing and I just had to make the most stupid move.
“Seohyun!” I see Tiffany waving at the fourth row on my right, she is with the other publication members. I nod my head to let her know that I see her. Excusing myself over the people who are already comfortable on their seats, I sit beside Minhyuk who seems surprised to see me.
“Woah. You’re here!” He puts his arm around my neck to pull my body closer to his. I jokingly elbow him on his side, snatching the cap he is wearing to snuggle it on my head, to cover my bare face.
The crowd is alive all throughout the whole hour, everyone appears to be sitting at the edge of their seats while cheering their own teams and players. The opposing university plays hard as our team, seeing how their serious faces and grimaces when they couldn’t shoot a ball. It is a tight game but in the end, Yonghwa has to inflate his ego by shooting another three-point before the alarm set off. Everyone seated on my side all rise up and howl their support along with confetti booming around the court.
Just what everyone is waiting, Jung Yonghwa takes home his third consecutive best player of the year award. The guy holds the trophies like it is the moon. I can see the stars sparkling in his eyes even from afar, I know how exactly it feels to finally gain something that I know I worked hard for. I know but I doubt that I will receive anything.
“Joohyun” Yonghwa calls while I am outside his team’s locker room with Tiffany and the others, almost an hour later.
I turn my head while the side of my body is leaning on the wall. Then I look back at Tiffany to finish what I am saying about how to do better as the new editor-in-chief. They are doing good, according to her. She just has to get used to the whole new level of pressure.
“Let’s go?” I feel Yonghwa’s hand on my back, pulling me up so I would stand straight.
“Okay”
Tiffany looks at us with a teasing smile, the kind that friends do when they see a new guy with their friends. “Hey, see you both at the party?”
“Of course”
“Congratulations again, Yonghwa!” I listen to how easy their conversation is. How light and almost flirty it sounds, Tiffany really has her special ways of talking to guys.
“Congratulations to us, you mean” They both nod before we start walking out.
I still feel his hand grazing on my back, the lightness of his touch making my head a bit overwhelmed. I don’t know how to properly react after what I did before the game so I shut my mouth, falling into thoughtful ride once again.
The party takes place in a bar. The team is complete along with their girlfriends, the staffs are also around mingling with important people from the university. As I grab a wine from the walking waiter, since we arrive, Yonghwa hasn’t leave my side. It’s either he has his hand resting on my waist or his arm casually wrap on my shoulders. He would sometimes lower his head over my ears to whisper something about amusing information about each person who walks around us.
I am aware of what we are doing. The flirting, the gazing, the whispers, I know exactly how it looks. And I feel comfortable enough to respond, to reply to his advances. I never felt like this before, maybe I am just going with the different flow of the day, maybe I will be back tomorrow.
But I just like to live in this moment, to let go of everything just for this almost-ending day. Just for the first guy who tries to sees me through the façade I have.
As the instructor tells me everything I have to know, I keep on shooting glances at Yonghwa who is already preparing for takeoff. He looks so experienced, as if he has been doing this for numerous times already. While on the other hand, I feel like I’m back to being seven years old attending my first horseback riding class.
Scared, excited and nervous all at the same time.
I am never a fan of extreme sports or any kind of it. And I don’t have any idea why on Earth he decided to bring me in such place.
“It’s going to be alright” I hear his voice, a bit teasing but helpful.
I roll my eyes, avoiding any eye contact again. I do not want him to think that I’m being sissy about this despite my slight nervousness. I gasp when he and his instructor quietly takes off, flying up to the blue sky. I see his eyes looking down at me, waving with enthusiasm.
“Are you ready?” The instructor asks, checking the wires for the nth time.
I sigh, balling my fist and nod. Within the minute and with his instructions, we are off to the sky. I couldn’t feel the same nervousness I am feeling while we are still on the ground. Now I am flying, it feels good, no, more than good, it feels great to see everything under my toes. I couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh, the feeling driving all problems away like magic. I have always thought if it is possible to fly away, to see how it is to watch the world revolve beneath me.
Smiling as the wind caresses my face, seeing the trees dance in a harmonic beat makes my smile bigger. It is only done in fifteen minutes but the overwhelming positive emotions my heart is taking is enough. More than enough to purge all the dark clouds my mind keeps on entertaining.
Without any thought, I laugh my heart away as we settle in a safe part at the landing ground. My smile lingers on my face even after the instructor removes all the wires around my lower body.
“Cool, huh?” Yonghwa asks, offering me playful smile.
I nod, looking around the almost empty area. Inhaling the fresh air of Mount Jungkwang, we start walking over to a plantation few meters south the landing area. The green field is endless, like it is covering a large part of the mountain with its growing and strong roots.
“There’s actually an ocean here” His soft voice almost echoing in the vast surrounding.
I quietly follow his lead, watching his back figure in front of me. He looks peaceful when he’s out in the university or maybe he really is like this. I don’t have any single clue how is at free times like this. I heave a sigh, heart pumping in awe with the wonderful crystal blue ocean smiling at us.
My eyes close on its own when the salty but refreshing wind dances, I hold my long hair to my chest and thank whoever for this moment.
“HEY!” I shout but with a hint of pleasure in it when I feel a sprinkling of cold water on my bare legs.
He chuckles, still up to showering me with his foot. I just glare at him, hopping to the side so he would stop. I set my eyes to the farthest blue ocean in front of me, beaming with the sparkling part of it. I feel like a child once again, the times when my parents were willing enough to bring us to the ocean. I remember I used to love it, the sound of the waves, the echoes I could create.
I used to love life before.
Another splash of water is enough to bring me back to my senses, it wets my shorts a bit and I just have to run after him for revenge. Of course, being a basketball player, I am already panting and he is still up for another round of running. I slowly walk to the water, shivering a bit with the contact of it with my feet.
When I feel his hand on my back, probably guiding me as I walk, I quickly squat to splash a good amount of salty water right on his face. The way he crunches his face makes me laugh so much that I am already feeling my stomach ache. He catches me into his arms and carries me off the water. I wriggle my feet against him, wanting to be free. But he doesn’t put me down until I am too tired to move my feet and changes to slapping his back nonstop.
He is chuckling when he lays me down to the sand carefully. I laugh out all the feelings that are currently swimming inside my chest, the contentment of being in this place, the raging emotions towards my father and everything in between. The laughter sounds different as I hear it within my system, it sounds bitter and pathetic. My shoulders start shaking in a horrible motion, my stomach starts to feel a bit painful and I somehow feel strange all of a sudden.
I put both of my hands over my face to cover it from the salty sprinkles but all I feel is tears flowing out of my eyes. I stay like that for a long time, absorbing what is currently occurring. It feels unreal that I am crying, finally receiving an opportunity to release all the pent up emotions I have inside. I know that I don’t sound laughing anymore as the sobs become more difficult to hide. I stare up at the blue sky, sight a bit blurry due to my tears.
‘What is this, Jonghyun?’ I ask the wind that might bring my thoughts to where my brother is. I let the tears flow down on the side of my eyes, memorizing and relieving the awkwardness and fresh feeling of it. I almost forget about the guy lying beside me, he is intelligent enough not to do anything while I make a mess out of myself.
I finally calm my shoulders down, closing my eyes to lessen the sobs, suddenly his hand envelopes into mine, and he quietly and quickly interlaces his fingers with mine. I don’t have any strength to do anything so I let him. I let his warmth melts within me, giving an unusual feeling of strength and security.
Letting the time passes by with just lying and holding each other’s hand, I finally get back into my senses and stand on my feet. I untangle my hand with his and wipe all the tears away, taking a deep breath making a little shaking of my voice at the end.
I finally remember how good it feels to have all my emotions out through tears. It may not help solve anything, it can ease up the heaviness of the heart. As I exhale my smile softly, grasping the lightness of my chest. The feeling of rejuvenation adds up to my choice of letting go of my problems even just for today.
There are sands that are stuck between Yonghwa’s hair while we are walking back to the road. I unknowingly ruffle my fingers into the back of his head, effectively removing the sands from it. He has his eyes widened and mouth agape when he turns to look at me. I know it is an intimate gesture, something I wouldn’t even imagine doing when I am in my right mind.
The insanity of this day is already getting into my system.
I shrug him off and continue following his lead. My eyes shifting to the beauty preserved in this place. Within five minutes, we are back on the road making our way back to the city. We reserve the two hours inside the car with silence, I listen to the awkwardness that’s starting to look stupid for the both of us. He silently stops the car over the valet at the hotel back in Seoul.
Entering the familiar restaurant at the fifth floor, I inhale the delicious smell from the buffet table. I have been in this place since I was a child, I belong to a parents who are born with silver spoon in their mouths, anyway. And I always dine here with Minhyuk too.
“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Jung Yonghwa and Ms. Seo Joohyun” The head chef hurriedly greets us while we are lining up over the buffet. I manage to force a smile while putting a bit of the Japanese food on my plate. However, Yonghwa, probably taught to have a good communication skills to everyone especially special and known individuals, replies professionally.
We eat at the same table, earning another mental punch from myself. If I have woken up in my own bed, I will probably never imagine myself eating out with Jung Yonghwa. But, again, the day already started weird.
“You eat only that little?” Yonghwa suddenly asks, after munching the steak he got from the other side of the buffet table.
I shrug, playing with my last sushi for a bit before plopping it into my mouth. I don’t really have a big appetite, a problem that Jonghyun and Minhyuk have been trying to solve over the years. Maybe that’s why I have a thin figure.
“Come on. You know what I always do whenever I’m here?” He stands from his seat and holds my arm to pull me back to the food. He brightly gives me another plate and fork, his playfulness coming back to life. I realize that he looks better when he shows his toothy smile and his eyes are twinkling with mirth. “Stand while eating”
I laugh, much to my dismay and to his surprised, because he looks like he just spilled the greatest idea ever when it is nothing but stupid. But he manages to hide his amazement of what is happening by chuckling while shaking his head. He drops almost everything in my plate, earning a huge reaction from me.
“I can’t eat this” My voice sounding whiny when I continue following him around the table.
“We’ll share” He picks up two egg rolls from the plate and munches it in a disgusting way.
Shaking my head, I follow his lead and eat some of the food on the plate while we walk over the window, watching the view of southern part of Namdaemun. We quietly fall back to our silence, still eating our hearts desire.
“Sir Yonghwa” He quickly turns his head and greets the stranger. “Here’s the ticket that you asked for” I continue looking outside, not feeding my curiosity for the first time today.
“Thanks” He lets another few minutes pass by before grabbing the plate from my hand. “Should we go?” I finish the juice I am drinking before following him out of the restaurant before he slides his card over the counter.
I glance at him through the mirror while we are inside the elevator. With the way his eyes are already staring right back at me, his lips in the unfamiliar thin line but his eyes still shining with playfulness, it reminds me of Shinhye. How she should be enjoying her life right now. And deep inside in the corner of my heart, my curiosity is scorching hot it can’t be ignored.
“What happened with Shinhye?” I bury my hands inside the pocket of the shorts, too late to even think of cursing myself from slipping.
His eyes quickly blend into dark hue, almost softening and hiding all the vulnerability somewhere. Shinhye is that important for him and it somehow makes my inside warm. “Leukemia. Chronic Leukemia” His voice sounds low and almost husky, probably his vulnerability slowly making its way out. “She was 16 years when she was diagnosed. We are just thankful that our parents are capable enough to afford all treatments possible” Our steps suddenly slow as we step out of the elevator, relishing the solemn atmosphere we are having. “She just had her bone marrow transplant two days ago” I watch how he curves his lips upward, sounding more than grateful for the great news. “She’s getting better…she will”
I have always been an emotional girl, the kind that feels sad quickly when I see tears from someone. And maybe the old Joohyun is coming back, just like how I may found the key to the gate of my tears’ dam. I take a loud sigh, understanding how exactly he is going through with his sister’s situation.
“She will be better. I have to get to know her, right?” I say, stern and positive.
He looks at me and nods with his signature smile. “She had been dreaming about that” He informs, buckling his seatbelt, his eyes still on me.
I cross my eyebrows and look back at him curiously.
“She’s your junior, remember? She’s one of the hundreds who want to be with you then” He simply says, hiding a smirk while I drown in my thoughts.
My high school years were spent aiming for the top spot, participating in charities and activities as much as my schedule from separate classes my parents forced me to take with Jonghyun would allow and less memories with friends. Hyoyeon, Nicole and Minhyuk were understanding enough to let me do what I want then, always available whenever I can squeeze a short free time during my breaks. There were few faces I could remember that bother me during parties and activities but I was never one for relationships or unnecessary friendships.
Shinhye had been a known student even during her first year. It must be her porcelain-like features, outgoing personality and her background, it was the reason why I knew her. But we were never given a chance to share any conversation or anything.
“Hmmm” I whisper thoughtfully, finally snapping out of my thoughts after noticing the familiar venue for the basketball games. I just remember that he was supposed to have a practice game with his team before the actual game.
The stadium’s parking lot are already filled with cars but since he is part of the playing team, he is able to take a reserved slot. I follow him through the back entrance of the place when he notices that the line for the audience is quite long. I could already hear the loud noise and excited sound of the drums inside the court while we are walking inside.
There are few fans who asked for pictures before we reach their locker room. He really seems more popular that I give credit him for. He handles the girls in a friendly way as if it is not the first time someone approached him like that.
“Here’s your ticket, you should see your staff around in that area” Yonghwa announces, extending his hand to give the ticket.
I nod, reading the information written on it after receiving it. Looking back up at him, I finally recognize the sudden uncomfortable silence that takes over between us. He looks like he is about to do something but the way his eyes flicker uncertainly, he looks like he’s holding back.
“Yonghwa! You’re finally here. Coach is about to fume that you aren’t around yet” Lee Jungshin, part of the team, steps out of the locker room, already ready for the final game. “Oh Seohyun, it’s nice to see you again” I bow slightly at him before he walks away from us.
“You should go” I say, my voice sounding a bit tiny.
“Yeah. You will be out there, right?” I nearly want to burst out into laughing when he looks like he would cry if I would leave him out. Nobody would think that Jung Yonghwa would someday sound like a real spoiled kid.
I smile a bit and nod, thinking if I could indulge him through it. Silence once again, I am supposed to find my seat now but there is something that is holding me back. I don’t know what is it so I continue looking right back to his eyes, finally noticing the mole that is located right under his right eye.
“See you later” He finally puts his hand on the knob and turns his body to the door.
‘It is now or never’ I think. “Yonghwa” I call, making him turn his head. I take a deep breath, feeling a bit nervous as I step closer to his and awkwardly raise my toes and leaving a quick peck on the side of his lips. I intend it to be on his cheek but since he is a head taller than me, I feel my lips brush against his for a second. “Good luck”
I never turn back as I hurry to get inside the court.
I must be out of my mind to even think of doing that. To even think of kissing him for a good luck. It feels so quick, the way my mind think of doing something for his efforts, anything to make him see that I appreciate this day because he lets me forget my life even just for today. But I don’t know anything about expressing and I just had to make the most stupid move.
“Seohyun!” I see Tiffany waving at the fourth row on my right, she is with the other publication members. I nod my head to let her know that I see her. Excusing myself over the people who are already comfortable on their seats, I sit beside Minhyuk who seems surprised to see me.
“Woah. You’re here!” He puts his arm around my neck to pull my body closer to his. I jokingly elbow him on his side, snatching the cap he is wearing to snuggle it on my head, to cover my bare face.
The crowd is alive all throughout the whole hour, everyone appears to be sitting at the edge of their seats while cheering their own teams and players. The opposing university plays hard as our team, seeing how their serious faces and grimaces when they couldn’t shoot a ball. It is a tight game but in the end, Yonghwa has to inflate his ego by shooting another three-point before the alarm set off. Everyone seated on my side all rise up and howl their support along with confetti booming around the court.
Just what everyone is waiting, Jung Yonghwa takes home his third consecutive best player of the year award. The guy holds the trophies like it is the moon. I can see the stars sparkling in his eyes even from afar, I know how exactly it feels to finally gain something that I know I worked hard for. I know but I doubt that I will receive anything.
“Joohyun” Yonghwa calls while I am outside his team’s locker room with Tiffany and the others, almost an hour later.
I turn my head while the side of my body is leaning on the wall. Then I look back at Tiffany to finish what I am saying about how to do better as the new editor-in-chief. They are doing good, according to her. She just has to get used to the whole new level of pressure.
“Let’s go?” I feel Yonghwa’s hand on my back, pulling me up so I would stand straight.
“Okay”
Tiffany looks at us with a teasing smile, the kind that friends do when they see a new guy with their friends. “Hey, see you both at the party?”
“Of course”
“Congratulations again, Yonghwa!” I listen to how easy their conversation is. How light and almost flirty it sounds, Tiffany really has her special ways of talking to guys.
“Congratulations to us, you mean” They both nod before we start walking out.
I still feel his hand grazing on my back, the lightness of his touch making my head a bit overwhelmed. I don’t know how to properly react after what I did before the game so I shut my mouth, falling into thoughtful ride once again.
The party takes place in a bar. The team is complete along with their girlfriends, the staffs are also around mingling with important people from the university. As I grab a wine from the walking waiter, since we arrive, Yonghwa hasn’t leave my side. It’s either he has his hand resting on my waist or his arm casually wrap on my shoulders. He would sometimes lower his head over my ears to whisper something about amusing information about each person who walks around us.
I am aware of what we are doing. The flirting, the gazing, the whispers, I know exactly how it looks. And I feel comfortable enough to respond, to reply to his advances. I never felt like this before, maybe I am just going with the different flow of the day, maybe I will be back tomorrow.
But I just like to live in this moment, to let go of everything just for this almost-ending day. Just for the first guy who tries to sees me through the façade I have.