Not A scene Kid Part 4
Whateverness
IT IS HARD FOR ME to zero in on one reason I have become non-scene. It is all the reasons combined: there’s no good sex, there’s no love, there’s bad music, there’s too many drugs, there’s too much alcohol, there’s too much smoking, there are too many maladjusted nasty bastards out there waiting to stomp on my heart. The gay scene is a city of dashed dreams.
Unfortunately, like political correctness, the gay scene is so much a part of us that we’ve forgotten how to criticize it. Meanwhile, the rules we use to relate to each other-the culture we’ve evolved there-just gets worse and worse. I think it’s time for us, as a community, to consider what we need from our socializing and how to get it.
A lot of people will be really defensive about this article-even call me a loser for writing it. But that is a typical way to attack people who say strong, yet uncomfortable, yet necessary things. It still needs to be said. Because we can’t fix it until we admit that it’s a problem.
We can start by admitting what we really need. I don’t believe for a moment that young gay men go clubbing mainly to dance, as so many boys claim. In the back of everyone’s mind is that they want to meet someone and possibly form a relationship. I know because I asked all my friends-a good cross-section of people-and that’s what they all said. [If single people deny they are looking for closeness, I think that is the saddest thing of all, except for the fact that I don’t believe it for a moment].
I am sitting here right now and I want to meet someone. No, I am not going to go clubbing when the sun sets tonight in Buffalo. Some people say I am too negative. But if I am, I want to know how to solve my problem. And I doubt I am the only one.
Holding someone is important. Physical relations are important and I want to know if it’s going to be good before I get my heart set on a person. It is preposterous that I have to justify this, 30 years after gay liberation. If you say the gay scene is not required in order to provide that testing ground-that it is the wrong place to look-then where do you think it should be provided? Please let me know.
Our whateverness about our gay space is way too high. The generation now coming up needs to be very careful to switch its values from the connection-negative values of the 1990s to the love-connection values I hope are coming up in the 2000s. In the meantime, I am going to go and walk on the beach again-which is almost as good as a shag-and I’ll continue to be one of those reclusive non-scene people whom everyone wants to meet.
I hope someone fixes our value system soon, so I can come back.
THE
END
IT IS HARD FOR ME to zero in on one reason I have become non-scene. It is all the reasons combined: there’s no good sex, there’s no love, there’s bad music, there’s too many drugs, there’s too much alcohol, there’s too much smoking, there are too many maladjusted nasty bastards out there waiting to stomp on my heart. The gay scene is a city of dashed dreams.
Unfortunately, like political correctness, the gay scene is so much a part of us that we’ve forgotten how to criticize it. Meanwhile, the rules we use to relate to each other-the culture we’ve evolved there-just gets worse and worse. I think it’s time for us, as a community, to consider what we need from our socializing and how to get it.
A lot of people will be really defensive about this article-even call me a loser for writing it. But that is a typical way to attack people who say strong, yet uncomfortable, yet necessary things. It still needs to be said. Because we can’t fix it until we admit that it’s a problem.
We can start by admitting what we really need. I don’t believe for a moment that young gay men go clubbing mainly to dance, as so many boys claim. In the back of everyone’s mind is that they want to meet someone and possibly form a relationship. I know because I asked all my friends-a good cross-section of people-and that’s what they all said. [If single people deny they are looking for closeness, I think that is the saddest thing of all, except for the fact that I don’t believe it for a moment].
I am sitting here right now and I want to meet someone. No, I am not going to go clubbing when the sun sets tonight in Buffalo. Some people say I am too negative. But if I am, I want to know how to solve my problem. And I doubt I am the only one.
Holding someone is important. Physical relations are important and I want to know if it’s going to be good before I get my heart set on a person. It is preposterous that I have to justify this, 30 years after gay liberation. If you say the gay scene is not required in order to provide that testing ground-that it is the wrong place to look-then where do you think it should be provided? Please let me know.
Our whateverness about our gay space is way too high. The generation now coming up needs to be very careful to switch its values from the connection-negative values of the 1990s to the love-connection values I hope are coming up in the 2000s. In the meantime, I am going to go and walk on the beach again-which is almost as good as a shag-and I’ll continue to be one of those reclusive non-scene people whom everyone wants to meet.
I hope someone fixes our value system soon, so I can come back.
THE
END