good things are happening to everyone else, while life keep passing me by...
So I'm feeling pretty shitty right now. I don't know if it's because I'm sick, or because of everyone else's awesome news.
I have a lot of friends or old friends or whatever they are that are getting married. Now, being realistic, I know that Zack and I are not ready to get married. We cannot afford it, although we are practically married already. But I just feel like I want to have some big news--it's a feeling I shouldn't have, almost jealousy and the fact that I want the attention to be on me. I feel like if I make this show I'm going to audition for next week, people will be like "oh wow, great" and that will be it. It's a feeling that I don't get very often, but I really really really want to have some big news that people will care about. But I know I am also NOT the kind of person that will do drastic things just to have this big news--something I will later regret. It's just a depressed sort of feeling that I'm sure I will get over in a few hours.
I am so sick right now--some kind of sinus infection or flu or something--but we're too poor to get meds. so I'm taking a day off of work--just so I can sleep in late and try to get better by taking a day off. Zack started his new job today, which is good--he's in an orientation all day, but hey, that's life I guess.
I really want to do a lot of things right now but am feeling so stuck. Honestly...if I dont get into this show...I really don't know what I am going to do. I can't just dedicate all of my time to work--it will drive me insane. Man, I am quite the Debbie Downer today. wah wah...
emilee out.
I have a lot of friends or old friends or whatever they are that are getting married. Now, being realistic, I know that Zack and I are not ready to get married. We cannot afford it, although we are practically married already. But I just feel like I want to have some big news--it's a feeling I shouldn't have, almost jealousy and the fact that I want the attention to be on me. I feel like if I make this show I'm going to audition for next week, people will be like "oh wow, great" and that will be it. It's a feeling that I don't get very often, but I really really really want to have some big news that people will care about. But I know I am also NOT the kind of person that will do drastic things just to have this big news--something I will later regret. It's just a depressed sort of feeling that I'm sure I will get over in a few hours.
I am so sick right now--some kind of sinus infection or flu or something--but we're too poor to get meds. so I'm taking a day off of work--just so I can sleep in late and try to get better by taking a day off. Zack started his new job today, which is good--he's in an orientation all day, but hey, that's life I guess.
I really want to do a lot of things right now but am feeling so stuck. Honestly...if I dont get into this show...I really don't know what I am going to do. I can't just dedicate all of my time to work--it will drive me insane. Man, I am quite the Debbie Downer today. wah wah...
emilee out.