when it rainers it pours.
i.am.so.scared.of.my.life.
i am so exhausted. i am so tired. i am barely 24 and i am already worn out. so i've put all my eggs in one basket, and now i'm too terrified to pick it up and carry it. to move it. to take it and throw it into the lake and see if it sinks or swims. i have no idea how i did it before, but i know i hated it and i dont know why i think this time will be different.
and i breakdown. again. and search for the email where my father told me i was too young to be exhausted (somewhere around age 20); am i qualified now?
but instead stumble across an email containing this:
“You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day in to the answer.”
the funny thing is more than one man has shared this with me, but i've never actually listened until this very moment. I've listened and, now, I learn.
(hopefully)
i am so exhausted. i am so tired. i am barely 24 and i am already worn out. so i've put all my eggs in one basket, and now i'm too terrified to pick it up and carry it. to move it. to take it and throw it into the lake and see if it sinks or swims. i have no idea how i did it before, but i know i hated it and i dont know why i think this time will be different.
and i breakdown. again. and search for the email where my father told me i was too young to be exhausted (somewhere around age 20); am i qualified now?
but instead stumble across an email containing this:
“You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day in to the answer.”
the funny thing is more than one man has shared this with me, but i've never actually listened until this very moment. I've listened and, now, I learn.
(hopefully)