why do this...
i'm so tired of this. why does he have to go to the club in the first place. i KNOW he was talking to jessica when he told me he wasn't and i KNOW he told her I LOVE YOU when he swore to me he didn't and i KNOW he was talking to erika and i KNOW he text megan to "hook him up with one of her friends" and i KNOW he called haylee beautiful. yeah i looked through his phone and text messages and i know it's not the right thing to do but he does things that make me seriously wonder if he really deserves his privacy. and i honestly don't think he shoud even ASK for it i think that he should say "here" and just hand me his phone and let me go through whatever i want. but i know if i were to say "let me go through your phone" he'd freak out and be like "why? you don't trust me" and get all protective of it so what's the point? i hate not being able to tell him something i hate looking and him and KNOWING he's done that and that he's said that and yet he still looks at me and KNOWS when somethings wrong but how can i tell him i know what he's said and what he's done behind my back? i don't know. i text him tonight and he didn't text back so i got mad and i sent him a text that was bitchy but i was mad and then he calls me and says his phone died and that he just charged it and got my messages so he got shitty with me cuz i posted a bulletin saying "i LOVE being ignored" and he got mad and got off the phone and texts me "thankx for making me feel like crap" so i text him back "thanks for doing the same to me" we fought and i'm still mad but i know we'll be okay but why does he do this? he KNOWS i don't like the club and he KNOWS i don't like him going cuz of the girls and he KNOWS i'd rather stay home and watch a movie and then sleep than go out and smoke hooka but he goes all the time and has me GO HOME. yeah i want him to go out with his friends but why does it have to be things that i don't want to do? why can't he do things that i would actually have FUN with? he says he loves me and that i mean the world to him but if thats the case then WHY is he going to the club every week and why is he constantly going to hooka with HAYLEE yeah ben and tom and danny and james are all there too but i just can't stop wondering if the real reason he's going to hooka is to see her and the real reason he's going to the club is to find someone better than me. i know it's insecurities but i can't help it. i hate that i'm like this and thinking this but it's seriously why i have such a problem with him NOT being with me when he goes out...i don't know if i need to change or if he does...