(no subject)
Early morning thoughts:
- I like the S'mores flavor of Pop-Tarts, but I don't know that I would call them "s'more-like." That's one of the problems I've always had with things like this. They used to make these Ritz Bitz S'mores things (they might still do, I don't know) that were vanilla creme and chocolate creme on graham cracker circles. Those aren't s'mores. For some reason these fuckers think they can get away with white shit and brown shit and graham cracker to equal a certain dish, and that is not the case. You don't get a s'more. I don't want some more. I'm good. They should call them s'ones.
- I think that everyone I disagree with should get together. It would really be a lot more convenient for me. The problem is that I disagree with so many people on so many issues, from people who hate feminists to feminists who hate words (it is spelled W-O-M-A-N and fuck you if you think differently). Pairing up anti-gay marriage advocates with gay people who pick on bisexuals would probably strain things as well. And I suppose people that can't spell might not get along with people who protest funerals, but it would certainly make the protests more interesting if they did. "GOD HATES FIGS!" "BURN IN HALL!"
- I have my three wishes planned out for if I ever find a genie. First, I wish for the ability to know anything I would like to know at will. Frankly, that's all I need, because I'm a huge dork. Then I wanna fly. Then I set the genie free, unless I don't have to wish for that, in which case I wish for a bigger penis. There's nothing really wrong with my current penis, but I'd like it better if it was just slightly bigger.
- I don't think I could ever be gay. There are dudes I find attractive in a vague way and the idea of penis doesn't really actively disgust me. The real problem is that I wouldn't want to be with a dude who has a bigger penis than I do.
- I kind of feel bad for Republican Douchebags. Back in 2000 and 2004, when Democrat douchebags were sore over losing elections (if losing it can be called, but I really need to learn to let that go) we had the constant threat of moving to Canada. The whole America: love it or leave it thing. But conservatives don't have a Canada to go to. Apparently Hannity's forum had some fucker who made a poll about their favored method of rebellion: armed revolution, military coup, or secession. It probably explains anything anyone would ever need to know about American politics. Liberals: "If you guys won't do what I want, I'm going to take my ball and go home!" Conservatives: "If you guys won't do what I want, I'll beat up everyone who says something until everyone shuts up!" There's no conservative Canada.
- I hate it when I wake up and I mistake my alarm for something else, like a phone call or a robot. It makes it really hard to remember to get up when I think I'm just shutting off the timer for the cake I was cooking in my dream. Also, most of the time when I realize I'm dreaming, I'm about to wake up. If there was something I could do about that, that would be pretty ideal too. I have this psychology textbook that says that dreams only last about forty minutes, which might be true, but I think it feels like more than that.
- "I think it feels like more than that." I should have that tattooed on my penis.
- I like the S'mores flavor of Pop-Tarts, but I don't know that I would call them "s'more-like." That's one of the problems I've always had with things like this. They used to make these Ritz Bitz S'mores things (they might still do, I don't know) that were vanilla creme and chocolate creme on graham cracker circles. Those aren't s'mores. For some reason these fuckers think they can get away with white shit and brown shit and graham cracker to equal a certain dish, and that is not the case. You don't get a s'more. I don't want some more. I'm good. They should call them s'ones.
- I think that everyone I disagree with should get together. It would really be a lot more convenient for me. The problem is that I disagree with so many people on so many issues, from people who hate feminists to feminists who hate words (it is spelled W-O-M-A-N and fuck you if you think differently). Pairing up anti-gay marriage advocates with gay people who pick on bisexuals would probably strain things as well. And I suppose people that can't spell might not get along with people who protest funerals, but it would certainly make the protests more interesting if they did. "GOD HATES FIGS!" "BURN IN HALL!"
- I have my three wishes planned out for if I ever find a genie. First, I wish for the ability to know anything I would like to know at will. Frankly, that's all I need, because I'm a huge dork. Then I wanna fly. Then I set the genie free, unless I don't have to wish for that, in which case I wish for a bigger penis. There's nothing really wrong with my current penis, but I'd like it better if it was just slightly bigger.
- I don't think I could ever be gay. There are dudes I find attractive in a vague way and the idea of penis doesn't really actively disgust me. The real problem is that I wouldn't want to be with a dude who has a bigger penis than I do.
- I kind of feel bad for Republican Douchebags. Back in 2000 and 2004, when Democrat douchebags were sore over losing elections (if losing it can be called, but I really need to learn to let that go) we had the constant threat of moving to Canada. The whole America: love it or leave it thing. But conservatives don't have a Canada to go to. Apparently Hannity's forum had some fucker who made a poll about their favored method of rebellion: armed revolution, military coup, or secession. It probably explains anything anyone would ever need to know about American politics. Liberals: "If you guys won't do what I want, I'm going to take my ball and go home!" Conservatives: "If you guys won't do what I want, I'll beat up everyone who says something until everyone shuts up!" There's no conservative Canada.
- I hate it when I wake up and I mistake my alarm for something else, like a phone call or a robot. It makes it really hard to remember to get up when I think I'm just shutting off the timer for the cake I was cooking in my dream. Also, most of the time when I realize I'm dreaming, I'm about to wake up. If there was something I could do about that, that would be pretty ideal too. I have this psychology textbook that says that dreams only last about forty minutes, which might be true, but I think it feels like more than that.
- "I think it feels like more than that." I should have that tattooed on my penis.