(no subject)
These are some of the things I believe:
- I believe in the River God. I don't know what I believe about the River God, but every time I pass over a footbridge, I throw something into the water to announce it.
- I believe that Leia is kind of a bitch. Every time Han tried to leave to go pay off Jabba the Hutt, she whined. Listen, bitch, if you're that concerned, just go with me. I'm getting stalked by bounty hunters. There are professionals who want me dead and/or tortured, so fuck your Rebellion and fuck Hoth. I got shit needs doin'.
- I believe it's spelled "come," not "cum." Warren Ellis spells it "come," and Warren Ellis is better at writing than Alexander the Great was at getting real estate, so I favor his interpretation.
- I believe that anyone who watches Fox News gets what they deserve. (Note: brain cancer.)
- I believe that anyone who has ever protested in front of an abortion clinic should be required by law to pay for any offspring that they successfully guilt confused and frightened teenage mothers into having.
- I believe that, before being allowed to vote in US national elections, you should have to answer one question: Who Is The Current President?
- I believe that if you get the previous wrong, you should be punched in the ovaries. If you are a male, you should have ovaries installed. I'll wait.
- I believe that every religion in the world is flawed, some moreso than others, and that there need be only one tenet to any belief to make the world a better place: Try Not To Be An Asshole.
- I believe that reading Transmetropolitan fucks with my head. For the next week or so I'm going to want to become a gonzo journalist. Then I'll remember that I'm lazy and hate too many things to be effective at it, so I'll come up with a new dream.
- I believe in the River God. I don't know what I believe about the River God, but every time I pass over a footbridge, I throw something into the water to announce it.
- I believe that Leia is kind of a bitch. Every time Han tried to leave to go pay off Jabba the Hutt, she whined. Listen, bitch, if you're that concerned, just go with me. I'm getting stalked by bounty hunters. There are professionals who want me dead and/or tortured, so fuck your Rebellion and fuck Hoth. I got shit needs doin'.
- I believe it's spelled "come," not "cum." Warren Ellis spells it "come," and Warren Ellis is better at writing than Alexander the Great was at getting real estate, so I favor his interpretation.
- I believe that anyone who watches Fox News gets what they deserve. (Note: brain cancer.)
- I believe that anyone who has ever protested in front of an abortion clinic should be required by law to pay for any offspring that they successfully guilt confused and frightened teenage mothers into having.
- I believe that, before being allowed to vote in US national elections, you should have to answer one question: Who Is The Current President?
- I believe that if you get the previous wrong, you should be punched in the ovaries. If you are a male, you should have ovaries installed. I'll wait.
- I believe that every religion in the world is flawed, some moreso than others, and that there need be only one tenet to any belief to make the world a better place: Try Not To Be An Asshole.
- I believe that reading Transmetropolitan fucks with my head. For the next week or so I'm going to want to become a gonzo journalist. Then I'll remember that I'm lazy and hate too many things to be effective at it, so I'll come up with a new dream.