Let's get some OTP pimpage and pics spams all up in this shit!!!!
OTP PIMPAGE
I've come to realize in our small fandom that having an OTP seems to doom them to be forever seperated or wills them into fading into nothingness (all my creys). It's also somewhat impossible to read only for your teams as you'll get a fic once a week. If you're lucky. Really lucky. Still waiting for those Sounders/MLS-in-general-omg-someone-please-write-one-so-I-shut-up fics (hahahahahahaha..... ;_;). So once you get over the stigma of ~omg they're not on my team, how could I ever read a fic about them?!?!, you'll realize that you'll pretty much ship Everyone/Everyone (I promise this isn't a post about Piers Morgan and his hand/Samir Nasri). And perhaps people will try to ~shame you or guilt trip you or just look down their long, condescending noses at you (or short noses lbr, condescending people have all sorts of noses), but in the end, you'll have more fic, and they'll just be bitter. Sucks to be them. Sorry not sorry.
Please, come into my corner for fluffy, lolzy delights.
THIS IS A GODDAMNED JUAN MATA / DAVID LUIZ POST
Look at these fucking faces. Look how goddamn precious and adorable they are:
WHY AREN'T MORE PEOPLE WRITING ABOUT THEM FUCKING?!?!?!?! Or idk, just relationship stuff. Like holding hands. And fucking. Or calling people geezers and plotting pranks. And fucking.
Want some scenarios of what their lives could potentially be like? Have 34009503948534 drabbles that I am writing right now. At this moment. I am googling pictures of them and writing random stuff down. Let's do this. Challenge accepted. I'm bored. It's raining in Seattle, etc etc etc
PICTURE ONE- the picture above that I am too lazy to repaste down here, so just scroll up and look at it.
Juan raised his hand, thanking the fans. A surge of pride, of gratitude, filled him every time he looked around the stadium and saw number of people supporting them. The energy was infectious and as he looked at the man next to him, he knew he had never been happier.
"What are you smiling about?" Juan asked David as they walked toward the tunnel.
"What I'm going to do to you when we get home," David answered with a leer.
And then they went home and there was ALL THE FUCKING. The end.
No? Not your style?
PICTURE TWO
.... Yeah, I got nothing on this one except the urge to write 'We are happy to be raising these trophies together' on top of it. Lol get it? Raising trophies double pun? Yeah, I won't quit my day job.... You know what's sad? It took me a minute to realize the guy on the right part of the bus is Cech. Because it's been that long since I've seen him with his helmet.
But I digress.
PICTURE THREE (I'll give you a minute to get over the ~awesome tumblr artist edit this person did to the orginal picture. Mindblowing, I know)
"Hey Geezer!" David yells at Juan as he points to his back. "Come on!"
Juan laughs as he jumps up onto David's back, throwing his head back as David let out a little whiny like a horse. Smiling at the fans and waving at the camera, they parade around the stadium, David carrying Juan the entire time.
"You can put me down," Juan whispers into his ear half way around the stadium.
David just smiles at him, shaking his head, curls bouncing and brushing against Juan's face. It isn't until later, when they have paraded around the stadium again with the trophy, and then again without it, that David pulls Juan in for a hug before making him climb onto his back again.
"I'm not a trophy," Juan giggles, perhaps more than a bit tipsy from the bottles of champagne being passed around.
"No," David spins them around, and the stadium is nothing more than a blur of lights to Juan. "There are many trophies but only one of you."
When he sets Juan down, Juan can't keep the grin off of his face. David leans down and kisses him on his forehead before flicking his nose and darting off. Juan blinks after him for a minute, unsure why he's enamoured with someone so silly, but when David looks back at him with that smile he reserves only for Juan, Juan feels his heart skip a beat. He chases David. He'll never stop chasing David.
And then they went back to the hotel where there was all the fucking. The end.
Art. I know.
Or maybe perhaps you're into some good ole hurt-comfort-omg-I'm-worried-about-you fic
PICTURE FOUR (omg look at how David's looking at him ;___; I'm dying)
The adrenilin from the game pushes the pain away. Juan remembers a brief flash of discomfort, of his head connecting with something with a residual 'crack', before the world seemed to turn sideways. As he blinks, he realizes he's staring up at the sky and the dull hum around him is both the stadium and his teammates. They peer down at him one moment and are gone the next as David pushes through them and motions for them to stand back, to give Juan air. Juan gingerly sits up, and aside from the world lurching for a brief moment, everything returns to normal and he slowly stands.
"I'm okay," he mutters as David stares at him, no humor or amusement in his eyes.
It's at times like these, when David looks down at him, that Juan feels small. He feels rather than sees one of David's hands wrap around and cradle the back of his head and the other rest under his chin to tilt his head up. For a moment, the stadium and his teammates fade away and he is surrounded by the fear and concern David exudes and all he knows is David.
Or maybe you just want the lolz. Remember when Juan made the arrangements for David's birthday cake and this is what happened:
I bet Juan ordered extra frosting so they could ~play with it later that night. Nudgenudgewinkwink.
Here's a fun factoid- when Juan sang his song for his ~initiation at Chelsea (or whatever they call it), he sang the Macarena. I bet he sang it for David. While stripping. Complete with the hip movements. Hey Macarrrrreeeennnnnnaaa!
"Hey! Where are you going?!?!? I'm wearing a a suit and you look like a naughty school boy. We have some roleplaying to do!"
David likes to pull Juan's hair
Juan likes it
More hypothetical situations/prompts/whatever to get your writing/perving/whatever ideas flowing:
- They watch cartoons and bad movies together
- They plan pranks together. One time it involves kidnapping Kitier Katba. Things get out of hand really fast.
- David learns a song on the guitar for Juan and it's all cute and fluffy. Smut follows.
- Juan goes to Brazil to meet David's family. Lolz ensue.
- Cliche black out drunk, wake up next to each other after a wild hot night of sex.
- Smut. All of it. Dirty, steamy fucking.
- Etc etc etc
So I'm sure you're sitting there going 'omg I can't wait to go to their tag at fbslash and find all the fic!' . Let me save you the trouble. They don't have a tag. They have one fic, and I wrote it. This is clealy a football injustice. (It's called Photobomb btw and is about David's amazing photobombing skills).
Perhaps I have convinced someone to write (lol probably not, but I can try), or perhaps I've convinced someone that this is indeed a pairing that merits more thought. If you've read this far and are still going 'ew I hate Chelsea/Juan/David/cuteness/fluff/lolz/unicorns/pandas' than I have two questions for you: why did you read this far and why is your life so sad? And why do you hate Unicorns? Don't be such a hater. Jerk.
TYFYT
* Post dedicated to
albion_lass for finishing writing a fic (YAY! I knew all of Hastings cheerleading would help) and to eileenyx, who is pretty much my partner in crime when it comes to this pairing. Happy birthday sweet cheeks <3