sorry on the few months of silence.
sorry I have been quiet for a few months. I haven't had much to discuss. I went silent at first because in december my attraction and fantasies both drifted strait. And since then my fantasies drifted back to mostly gay with some gender play mixed in, plus a few shemale ones (a bit unusual for me as I usually consider shemale boring and overdone). My real life attraction has been almost non existant. At times I feel it very weakly for women but even then it is fleeting. Feeling for men is very vey rare and fleeting as of the last month or so. Ironically enough the few times I see people between genders (1 very androgynous woman and one possible TS) it made me feel scared and nervous. I have no idea why as I have alot of TG friends online. Am I losing my sexuality? I wish their was a place to be free and be me, but I have no idea what ME is.
As for my mood, I haven't been depressed the last two weeks (except maybe a bit in work). My therapist wants me to get antidepressants perscribed which feels odd when not depressed so I have been putting it off. The two weeks before I was very depressed though. I wish someone would diagnose and slap a name on my depression. But given my reaction to the identification of my minor LD (very very mild aspergers, which explains the questioning as bisexuality is not uncommon with that condition) and how badly I took it (more depression, seeing myself as stupid and broken) I sort of wonder if this is a bad idea.
I have yet to make an effort to get my own apartment, depression and three years of criticism by my mom (who had a sudden turn around and lately wants me to move and has stopped discouraging me which is good, but still depression keeps me from wanting to) has more or less destroyed my interest in that. After all moving was going to be my way of exploring my identity, and with that shattered it has no point to it anymore.
As for my mood, I haven't been depressed the last two weeks (except maybe a bit in work). My therapist wants me to get antidepressants perscribed which feels odd when not depressed so I have been putting it off. The two weeks before I was very depressed though. I wish someone would diagnose and slap a name on my depression. But given my reaction to the identification of my minor LD (very very mild aspergers, which explains the questioning as bisexuality is not uncommon with that condition) and how badly I took it (more depression, seeing myself as stupid and broken) I sort of wonder if this is a bad idea.
I have yet to make an effort to get my own apartment, depression and three years of criticism by my mom (who had a sudden turn around and lately wants me to move and has stopped discouraging me which is good, but still depression keeps me from wanting to) has more or less destroyed my interest in that. After all moving was going to be my way of exploring my identity, and with that shattered it has no point to it anymore.