So, yeah
I cannot accurately describe my feelings on this matter without first posting a webcomic that summarize the overall idea of what I thought when I saw this horrid excuse for a game.
I don't know if this is an "unfinished" version of the game. I don't know if it's just supposed to be fanservice. Hell, I'm not even sure of what I was seeing when I saw the trailer. But three things are certain: sexual innuendoes are galore in that video, if women's breasts really moved like that and were that big, I'm sure we'd all be sterile, and that is the worst looking hair I have seen in a very long time. I mean, the hair is like... Soffia Coppola's acting bad, and the boob "physics" (if it could be called that) are like Japanese-tentacle rape bad.
Don't ask about that last comment.
Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit unfair. I mean, the game isn't released yet and it could really be a lot better than the trailer. And maybe Mr. Foley using "I'm dur drunkard!" as an excuse could actually work. The point is, I don't even know why this video was released. It should have stayed locked away on whatever executive's hard drive that decided eight minutes of artardely-unrealistical boob bouncing and polygonal sexual innuendo (including, but not limited to, the cliche "woman in bikini making suggestive motions on a floaty toy", woman-on-woman backrubbing action, and "tee-hee, let's play tag even though we are quite well past the age where we would openly admit to enjoy the game, and act like we are innocent little 8 year olds with big boobies for men to get turned on to!" Not that I imagine 8 yr olds with big boobies, mind you.)
But I digress. It is difficult to describe the feeling I got when I watched this... "trailer". First came surprise, as I thought a company had finally fulfilled my fantasy of some hot "polygonal ass" in which I can choose what... um, sorry, moving on. But then came the feeling that can only be described as WTF as their jugs bounced in many odd directions, and all of them so well endowed that I could actually imagine any of them swinging a tit at me to strike me down so their journey towards the large-breasted side would be complete. Then came the laughter. I could not stop for quite some time. I laughed and laughed... and then subsided into giggles... and then I nearly choked as one of the girls (I believe Ayane, I don't remember and I'm too scared to go back to look) leaned way forward and arched her back in "certain" poses. On a floaty toy whale. I'd seen stuff like that in some... *ahem* "movies" which will remain nameless. Here I was seeing the same sort of thing in a video game that's supposed to be for entertainment.
I guess someone could use that for entertainment, although I highly doubt it's the same sort of entertainment most of us think of when looking at a console game. Unless it's Rez.
I mean, it's not often I'm at a loss for words when I first see something. I was at a loss for words. No, I'm not going to get off on some rant of how western civilization is morally decaying, we are destroying ourselves, we will all burn in the Fiery Depths of blah blah blah. I did that in class the other day for a game idea and would rather not repeat that here, since I don't trust half of you sociopaths with my ideas. I am, however, going to say apparently Tecmo felt if they aimed as low as possible (almost as low as Rockstar Games anything past GTA3 and the subsequent GTA3 "let's do it again!" clones) they could make even more money than before. So much for there being a lowest common denominator. I guess there is no bottom to people's tastes.
Well, I'll correct myself. There's no bottom to the entertainment industry's belief of the customer's tastes. I pray they are wrong. I pray for all things at least semi-realistic, and all things of real pr0n they are wrong. Is it too much to ask for a decent game without some retarded ass-hat deciding they need to throw in: 1) Advertiser plug 2) Gratuitously large-breasted women who could probably crush me with the weight of their love pillows 3) CLONE CLONE CLONE! 4) Look at the pretty graphics we have... but you? Oh no, you will suffer 5) Support? We don't need no stinking support!
Well, apparently not, since I can pick four games off the top of my head I thoroughly enjoy or am greatly anticipating (and please, don't let this detract from the rest of my post. This is merely to end on a high note.)
Half Life 2
Company of Heroes
Gears of War (FYI, the Mad World trailer is sex)
Assassin's Creed
I don't know if this is an "unfinished" version of the game. I don't know if it's just supposed to be fanservice. Hell, I'm not even sure of what I was seeing when I saw the trailer. But three things are certain: sexual innuendoes are galore in that video, if women's breasts really moved like that and were that big, I'm sure we'd all be sterile, and that is the worst looking hair I have seen in a very long time. I mean, the hair is like... Soffia Coppola's acting bad, and the boob "physics" (if it could be called that) are like Japanese-tentacle rape bad.
Don't ask about that last comment.
Okay, so maybe I'm being a bit unfair. I mean, the game isn't released yet and it could really be a lot better than the trailer. And maybe Mr. Foley using "I'm dur drunkard!" as an excuse could actually work. The point is, I don't even know why this video was released. It should have stayed locked away on whatever executive's hard drive that decided eight minutes of artardely-unrealistical boob bouncing and polygonal sexual innuendo (including, but not limited to, the cliche "woman in bikini making suggestive motions on a floaty toy", woman-on-woman backrubbing action, and "tee-hee, let's play tag even though we are quite well past the age where we would openly admit to enjoy the game, and act like we are innocent little 8 year olds with big boobies for men to get turned on to!" Not that I imagine 8 yr olds with big boobies, mind you.)
But I digress. It is difficult to describe the feeling I got when I watched this... "trailer". First came surprise, as I thought a company had finally fulfilled my fantasy of some hot "polygonal ass" in which I can choose what... um, sorry, moving on. But then came the feeling that can only be described as WTF as their jugs bounced in many odd directions, and all of them so well endowed that I could actually imagine any of them swinging a tit at me to strike me down so their journey towards the large-breasted side would be complete. Then came the laughter. I could not stop for quite some time. I laughed and laughed... and then subsided into giggles... and then I nearly choked as one of the girls (I believe Ayane, I don't remember and I'm too scared to go back to look) leaned way forward and arched her back in "certain" poses. On a floaty toy whale. I'd seen stuff like that in some... *ahem* "movies" which will remain nameless. Here I was seeing the same sort of thing in a video game that's supposed to be for entertainment.
I guess someone could use that for entertainment, although I highly doubt it's the same sort of entertainment most of us think of when looking at a console game. Unless it's Rez.
I mean, it's not often I'm at a loss for words when I first see something. I was at a loss for words. No, I'm not going to get off on some rant of how western civilization is morally decaying, we are destroying ourselves, we will all burn in the Fiery Depths of blah blah blah. I did that in class the other day for a game idea and would rather not repeat that here, since I don't trust half of you sociopaths with my ideas. I am, however, going to say apparently Tecmo felt if they aimed as low as possible (almost as low as Rockstar Games anything past GTA3 and the subsequent GTA3 "let's do it again!" clones) they could make even more money than before. So much for there being a lowest common denominator. I guess there is no bottom to people's tastes.
Well, I'll correct myself. There's no bottom to the entertainment industry's belief of the customer's tastes. I pray they are wrong. I pray for all things at least semi-realistic, and all things of real pr0n they are wrong. Is it too much to ask for a decent game without some retarded ass-hat deciding they need to throw in: 1) Advertiser plug 2) Gratuitously large-breasted women who could probably crush me with the weight of their love pillows 3) CLONE CLONE CLONE! 4) Look at the pretty graphics we have... but you? Oh no, you will suffer 5) Support? We don't need no stinking support!
Well, apparently not, since I can pick four games off the top of my head I thoroughly enjoy or am greatly anticipating (and please, don't let this detract from the rest of my post. This is merely to end on a high note.)
Half Life 2
Company of Heroes
Gears of War (FYI, the Mad World trailer is sex)
Assassin's Creed