I spend a few weeks up to my neck in business at home, and I look back at this place and see...

What, exactly? Do my eyes deceive me or is that Annette Birkin being her usual charming self all over the place? I'm not talking to her myself - I'm staying as far away from that powder keg as possible ( Read more... )

Albert Wesker, I think we need to talk. I was just taking inventory of the supplies we have here on the island, and I came across something peculiar.

[A bright BING-BONG tone, and then a synthetic voice speaks over the airwaves, in neutrally polite yet chirpy tones.]

ALL ISLANDERS REPORT TO THE MAIN LABORATORY PLEASE, ALL ISLANDERS TO THE MAIN LABORATORY. THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY, BUT IT IS IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS TO ARRIVE IN A TIMELY MANNER! THERE WILL BE A DEMONSTRATION OF THE SYSTEM'S ( Read more... )

I feel like I've been hit by an eighteen-wheeler.

Twice.

I'm still alive (I think), so I guess you all managed to enact manual shutdown procedures for the island. Good job!

What did I miss while I was out? Actually, forget that, you can tell me in an hour - I want you all in the largest laboratory ASAP. I have something to show you.

SYSTEM UPGRADE IN PROGRESS

THIS IS NOT A FAULT! YOUR SYSTEM IS BEING UPGRADED. WHILE THE CHANGES ARE TAKING PLACE, THERE MAY BE A SMALL AMOUNT OF DISRUPTION TO YOUR USUAL ACTIVITIES ( Read more... )

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a proposition. (And saying ladies and gentlemen to you is no longer insulting! How novel. Speaking of which, Mrs. and Miss Birkin, I am Regene Regetta, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Or it will be ( Read more... )

Birkin. Stein. Whichever one of you is least likely to use me for science.

I could use some help.