now I shall talk about my cousin for ten minutes and it shall be dull
A SUCCESSFUL DAY OF CHILDMINDING. I kicked my cousin's bony eleven-year-old butt at Monopoly and I liked it. It's kind of becoming a tradition between the two of us now, me calmly and pleasantly bankrupting a child. Then I taught her how to tie her shoelaces FUCK YEAH I AM A RESPONSIBLE ADULT-Y FIGURE IN HER LIFE. But oh my god internet, she has a mobile phone now and before her mum picked her up we exchanged numbers and she sent me a text and I am just like... how are you old enough for opposable thumbs? Aren't you meant to be in the embryonic stage still?
AGEING: THIS SHIT IS BANANAS
(but seriously, how is she eleven now? How has she suddenly hit puberty and started wearing a training bra?? Eight years ago all I had to do to keep her entertained was flick marbles around and maybe if we were feeling crazy drop a tea towel on her head. HOW THE HELL DO PARENTS DEAL WITH THIS? If I have kids, I am clearly going to spend the rest of my life being constantly and incredibly confused by how they are not babies forever.)
NOW I HAVE TO GO DELETE SOME ICONS SO I HAVE ROOM FOR BBC SHERLOCK ICONS. My work here is done.
AGEING: THIS SHIT IS BANANAS
(but seriously, how is she eleven now? How has she suddenly hit puberty and started wearing a training bra?? Eight years ago all I had to do to keep her entertained was flick marbles around and maybe if we were feeling crazy drop a tea towel on her head. HOW THE HELL DO PARENTS DEAL WITH THIS? If I have kids, I am clearly going to spend the rest of my life being constantly and incredibly confused by how they are not babies forever.)
NOW I HAVE TO GO DELETE SOME ICONS SO I HAVE ROOM FOR BBC SHERLOCK ICONS. My work here is done.