July 2009 -- 8; Justice
Generosity, love, fear, constriction, greed--it all comes back.
It is the natural law. You reap what you sow.
Justice I always see as somehow being hard handed, and yet this month was very gentle to me and effused with light and life.
That month would see TJ and Lavern's marriage come to an end, but me realizing both still wanted me in their lives, when they both reached out to tell me the news and keep in touch with me. I spent the Fourth of July at a coworkers house party, learning the dichotomic differences between what Alice and I wanted from our coworkers. I still don't need and want what she did, but with her absence and what my next two months are shaping up as, I can't say that she chose wrong. I choose to be alone over being with people who are so antithesis to me I'd have to be lying to enjoy myself.
I do not yet know where that leaves me next Monday.
I won two pairs of earrings in this month, one from sihaya09, a very long time person I'd followed on my journal and another from sinandsalvation. I bought even more shirts that amused me from the seller who speaks no English, but whom over the past half year we have learned our own form of communication, with big smiles, and clothes, and gifted candy. I mailed my second set of post cards home. I wrote reviews of most of my sensual products purchased in June.
This month would see me going to my first Korean wedding. It was for my supervisor, Mindy, and turned out to be a rather interesting event all things considered. It definitely changed my mind about how I'd like a few things to be during my wedding, in the one eventuality of it. Monsoon season came and went, far more anticlimactically than I prepared for. Two to three weeks of steady rain was far less panic inducing that the warnings of two months of down pouring. You actually forget it's happening after a while.
It was the month I got accosted by a taxi driver, but still managed to put myself in a taxi home that same night, because I refused to be afraid or my time injured by someone's stupidity at their assumptions of Americans. I bought my immersion blender in this month and started delighting in homemade smoothies from all the fresh fruit that could be acquired in Korea through it's changing seasons and crazy low street seller prices. I watched even more documentaries on the world and people.
The Quote for my month, that still resonates even now, was from All The Days Before Tomorrow;
"It's like it never happened in a way. Like a dream.
All the things I did, all the people I met."
Travel plans were up and down and inside and outside all over this one.
By myself I went to Seoul Grand Park where I saw the Rose Garden, Children's Zoo, Seoul Zoo, Seoul National Museum of Contemporary Art, and road on my first Sky Rail. With Alice I went on an Adventure Korea weekend trip to the 12th Annual Boreong Mud Festival. During this trip I would meet Denise, the first pagan person in Korea, and languish in the utter joy of hearing familiar terms in common conversation, thus beginning a beautiful if cities apart friendship.
The plans for summer break in Australia had changed very fast, when Li needed to move home, and looking back on it, I probably am sad a little that my self then didn't plan to just go spend the week with Weaves anyway, but que sera sera. It is the past and I do not regret what has already been and done and brought me to now. I remember how sad I was and how much I didn't want to face sad things, all alone, at the time.
The first weekend of summer vacation I went alone on a weekend trip to Deokgu Valley, Hot Springs, Uljin Organic Food Expo & Beach. Here I would meet Marianne, the second pagan person in a year, who was delightfully amazing as well. The highlights of this trip being many, and not little among them, getting to pet a fuzzy, tiny bee.
During the following week, while still on vacation, I would wing my way down to Jeju Island, the Korean Hawaii, where i would spend four days with Denise and her friends on Adventure Korea's summer trip so big it took me nearly a week into August to write it up. Days One through Four All.
I started my Goddess Journal during this month with the Goddess book gifted to me through full_moon_swaps Givers and Getters swap. This would open up a whole new avenue of research and worship in Korea, that had been dormant for seven months. When I'd begin artifying a journal that I wrote in answer questions to the book, studying new goddess in the triple formation across two-thirds of July and into August. There was work to put my morning and nightly routines back in place, with the readings and card drawings on each end of my day.
Point of Origination, especially. I still remember how well this card drawing fit. When I finally felt I was still figuring out who and how and where and was able to find the space to return to things, and the person I was, before getting on a plane and coming to Korea. And at the very end of the month, I would find littleloveflame for the first time, who would bring a rather big impact to my August, especially, and then to the many months following it.
~*~
This month, this month, what do I pull from this month. I was happy for the most part and going many places, which always kept me lighter, because each weekend and week left me something to look forward to. I think my work and travel life were blessed, because the whole month is a whisper of 'go back, go back, go back, to your spiritual practices.' It's everywhere. The routines, the new people, the new study.
The last section especially was in large part about pulling my life back into a spiritual balance, which started here, but would take months of ups and downs to finally complete the transformation back to. I don't know if this month put me back into balance, but I know I had begun seeking balance during it for things missing and the world placed many things into my path which would help.