New Year
I'm so done with 2012. Flux, change, death, drama, trauma, upheaval, unhappiness.
I wish this picture expressed how I feel. How things are. How things will be. Who knows. I want the future to be as bright as I see it but I don't know if Patrick is capable of my optimism right now. He's (psychiatrically) sick and I cannot help. It's frustrating and sad to know he struggles and hurts and I can do nothing.
On top of it all, Patrick and I've both been sick two weeks. The flu shot obviously didn't do its job and we were down a week and a half with that (well, as down as you can be when you have to be up doing holiday entertaining), and it's now a respiratory infection. Awesome. Being on the antibiotics.
Patrick's mom visited and while that was really awesome the emotional aftermath is deadly. That's not true. I loved having her here and welcome her as family.
I spent more time with my mom and I'm glad we have finally gotten the chance to be close - so many of my friends have close relationships with their families and while I love mine we have never been "close."
New Years Eve was uneventful. We had a sparkling, awesome night out planned but no such luck. Illness and emotion took their toll.
I miss San Francisco more and more each day and question my decision to leave more and more.
Here's to the new year being better than the last. Here's to love and friendship and family and new beginnings.
Goodbye, 2012. Please let the door hit you (hard) on the ass on the way out. The only good things were my brother getting engaged and me and Erik becoming friends again.
I leave you with my favorite Christmas photo:
I love you Fëanor. Never stop getting me through the hard times. The number of tears I've shed onto this cat's fur could fill a bathtub and he just purrs, licks my cheeks and lets me. Best decision I ever made was to take him in.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.