your life is a lie
god i'm having the worst fucking week of my life. i wish that someone would just kill me so that i didn't have to do it myself. ok so i'm over stating that because i would never be able to or let's hope not.
i almost didn't get up for work this week and baseball sucked and to top it off my dad killed my cell phone and then bitched to me today because i asked him for money to replace it. he got fucking pissed and i'm like sorry i asked and stormed out of his shop and got in my car and i can hear him say something to me as i put my car into drive and i just turned my radio on because it was really loud and took off like a bat out of hell. now i have to lie to get a new one because i don't have the money to replace it. why do i even bother with him? he never seems to care about me anyway and isn't in my life. well he is only because i make an effort. i'm thinking about not talking to him until we go on the canoe trip and not even talking to him then either. he's such a fucking asshole but this is the first time in a long time he's treated me like a piece of shit. there's just some days where i want to walk out of his life and never look back. god, how many more years until i can leave this place?
hopefully tonight out with some friends will lighten my mood but so far nothing can change this. ugh i'm going to lock myself in my room for a few hours and become anti-social again for those few hours. taking some pills and laying down for a few hours.
i almost didn't get up for work this week and baseball sucked and to top it off my dad killed my cell phone and then bitched to me today because i asked him for money to replace it. he got fucking pissed and i'm like sorry i asked and stormed out of his shop and got in my car and i can hear him say something to me as i put my car into drive and i just turned my radio on because it was really loud and took off like a bat out of hell. now i have to lie to get a new one because i don't have the money to replace it. why do i even bother with him? he never seems to care about me anyway and isn't in my life. well he is only because i make an effort. i'm thinking about not talking to him until we go on the canoe trip and not even talking to him then either. he's such a fucking asshole but this is the first time in a long time he's treated me like a piece of shit. there's just some days where i want to walk out of his life and never look back. god, how many more years until i can leave this place?
hopefully tonight out with some friends will lighten my mood but so far nothing can change this. ugh i'm going to lock myself in my room for a few hours and become anti-social again for those few hours. taking some pills and laying down for a few hours.