family history
okay. i've noticed a serious theme going on with my family here. there's a very very popular trend toward screwing over family. like, what is this, metaphyisical incest or something?
the fafsa form asks for parental income and savings account size. if we'd filled this out three weeks ago, or godforbid, when i first started asking mom about it, it wouldn't have been a problem. but then last week, my uncle started bitching that he wanted the money from gramma's estate *now* (screw whatever hospital bills come in in three more months!!!) and so my aunt - keeper of the estate stuff, split duties with my dad - had to divy up the funds available so far. including a check cut to my parents. i might have had a prayer at sneaking under the wire of their "your parents have enough money to help you, the federal government wont. go eat dirt." i'm 8 days -- EIGHT FUCKING DAYS -- off of the birthday cut off date of "were you born before january 1st, 1983?" and i made so little money last year that the government OWED ME an insane amount of money. and my uncle had to go and pull his bitch fit, so now my parents have cash in their savings from the estate. i can't even change the date on the forms to make it reflect numbers from a week ago since i'm filing online. fafsa will see that as a normal income amount ready to be spent on the child just EIGHT FUCKING DAYS short of the cut-off date and voila. i'm back to borrowing 60k over the next three years.
holy
fucking
hell.
this is stupid. i'd have to borrow that much to go to school anywhere and live out of my home. i just don't understand it. they require this fucking piece of paper to show that you are an educatable brain. in order to get this fucking piece of paper, you have to have money. in order to have money, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FUCKING JOB. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. or you have to be born in another country, or pregnant, or already a mother, OR!!! Your great grand daddy had to be a slave or something stupid. what about the rest of us who're actual productive citizens with the fucking brains not to screw anything that walks and bring life into a world if we can't already provide support for it? why can't i fucking get a job with a resume that is in the past 6 months losing whatever value it had when i first lost my job? why was i even fired from a position on the basis of "Well, you're young and hireable, this other candidate who is brand new to the job and a senior citizen won't have the job opportunities you will. plus she's the mother in law of one of our other employees."
bull. fucking. shit.
Why the hell do i even bother? with this kind of a vicious circle to fight, what the hell can i possibly bring to the world? i don't bullshit, i don't throw knives at peoples backs, i certainly don't twist knives that are already there. i don't fit in. and this is just trying to fucking go to college.
the fafsa form asks for parental income and savings account size. if we'd filled this out three weeks ago, or godforbid, when i first started asking mom about it, it wouldn't have been a problem. but then last week, my uncle started bitching that he wanted the money from gramma's estate *now* (screw whatever hospital bills come in in three more months!!!) and so my aunt - keeper of the estate stuff, split duties with my dad - had to divy up the funds available so far. including a check cut to my parents. i might have had a prayer at sneaking under the wire of their "your parents have enough money to help you, the federal government wont. go eat dirt." i'm 8 days -- EIGHT FUCKING DAYS -- off of the birthday cut off date of "were you born before january 1st, 1983?" and i made so little money last year that the government OWED ME an insane amount of money. and my uncle had to go and pull his bitch fit, so now my parents have cash in their savings from the estate. i can't even change the date on the forms to make it reflect numbers from a week ago since i'm filing online. fafsa will see that as a normal income amount ready to be spent on the child just EIGHT FUCKING DAYS short of the cut-off date and voila. i'm back to borrowing 60k over the next three years.
holy
fucking
hell.
this is stupid. i'd have to borrow that much to go to school anywhere and live out of my home. i just don't understand it. they require this fucking piece of paper to show that you are an educatable brain. in order to get this fucking piece of paper, you have to have money. in order to have money, YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FUCKING JOB. WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. or you have to be born in another country, or pregnant, or already a mother, OR!!! Your great grand daddy had to be a slave or something stupid. what about the rest of us who're actual productive citizens with the fucking brains not to screw anything that walks and bring life into a world if we can't already provide support for it? why can't i fucking get a job with a resume that is in the past 6 months losing whatever value it had when i first lost my job? why was i even fired from a position on the basis of "Well, you're young and hireable, this other candidate who is brand new to the job and a senior citizen won't have the job opportunities you will. plus she's the mother in law of one of our other employees."
bull. fucking. shit.
Why the hell do i even bother? with this kind of a vicious circle to fight, what the hell can i possibly bring to the world? i don't bullshit, i don't throw knives at peoples backs, i certainly don't twist knives that are already there. i don't fit in. and this is just trying to fucking go to college.