keep loving . . . ?
. . . I went into Church today. The 12:15 mass was posted as I was riding by on my bike at 12:13. I haven't been in 9 years. I was surprised to see how many people were there . . . and also surprised that I was the youngest one there by at least 25 years.
I walked in, dipped my fingers in holy water, kneeled down and took my seat in the back.
Tears spilled down my face as the topic of 'love' was the sermon being shared. Is that even a normal topic for church???? Sometimes it feels as though cameras are following me around in some sort of tragic/comedy film and I'm just not aware of it. "It is your decision to love with all your heart and It is your decision to keep loving."
Why keep loving?
I understand that I can love with all I have, I can love with all my heart and all that I have in me . . . I have the option to keep loving after the fact. But really . . . why? can someone please tell me that? Who does it make better? me? you? . . .
I suppose it effects someone, right?
And to effect the life of another is the greatest and most important deed that can be done.
I believe that.
I want to make the people I'm around feel special. Smile. Laugh.
How many people are effected by that ONE person that you helped feel happiness on a day that a smile couldn't be mustered????
Maybe that's the point. Keep loving others . . . regardless of whether you'll be loved in return because by that act . . . by the simple act of LOVING . . . lifes are altered in ways that we cannot fathom.
but it still hurts.
And maybe that's part of it too . . . keep loving even though it hurts . . . because if you stop and dwell in the hurt all that is welcomed is self pity and then . . . well then . . . nobody get's to smile.
Oh hell . . . I don't know.
That's all
Alisha
I walked in, dipped my fingers in holy water, kneeled down and took my seat in the back.
Tears spilled down my face as the topic of 'love' was the sermon being shared. Is that even a normal topic for church???? Sometimes it feels as though cameras are following me around in some sort of tragic/comedy film and I'm just not aware of it. "It is your decision to love with all your heart and It is your decision to keep loving."
Why keep loving?
I understand that I can love with all I have, I can love with all my heart and all that I have in me . . . I have the option to keep loving after the fact. But really . . . why? can someone please tell me that? Who does it make better? me? you? . . .
I suppose it effects someone, right?
And to effect the life of another is the greatest and most important deed that can be done.
I believe that.
I want to make the people I'm around feel special. Smile. Laugh.
How many people are effected by that ONE person that you helped feel happiness on a day that a smile couldn't be mustered????
Maybe that's the point. Keep loving others . . . regardless of whether you'll be loved in return because by that act . . . by the simple act of LOVING . . . lifes are altered in ways that we cannot fathom.
but it still hurts.
And maybe that's part of it too . . . keep loving even though it hurts . . . because if you stop and dwell in the hurt all that is welcomed is self pity and then . . . well then . . . nobody get's to smile.
Oh hell . . . I don't know.
That's all
Alisha