This is for me, not you
Writing sometimes helps and im stressed...and i have things i want to remind myself of, this is not a cry for help, its jsut for me and no one is forcing anyone to read it.
Last night was fun, Jason and I watched Ronin Warriors and ate pizza. We decided that his virtue of prejudice and my despair can rule the world by making weeds....thats right, his strength coupled with my intelligence equals weeds!!! Bwahahaha, be covered in vines all those who oppose us!
So most should know whats goin on with me now and if not then ask me....i cant shake the feeling of impending doom, its like everytime im about to do something fun i expect a call to thwart all of it. Last thursday was my personal hell...i cant believe thatd id ever get that bad, but it happened. Luckily Jason came riding in on his white horse to save some of my sanity...but boy did i make the situation more awkward....free association is a dangerous thing, i started babbling things i had never even thought of before. But regardless its nice to have someone say and show me, demonstrate that i can truly count on them, after all, philosophy without action is useless. Heck, game night only happened because of him, and i needed it, and everyone had a good time, so it was a good suggestion. Fridays emergency room visit sucked ass, but im glad i made the difference for the better...but ive been too afraid to call and find out the details...ill call sometime before friday...hopefully. WAllyball/boozing was ok, considereing
So with that i must truly thank Jason for everything...the friendship, comradery, understanding, listening, and concern. I almost wish we could run away together lol...ALMOST. But really the way my head works i may have done some really stupid shit. The other person is Heather because from what i understand, you've done alot of the behind the scenes shit that have helped me for the better. I also enjoyed the chat on Sat night/Sun morning...its nice to hear someone in the same situation(s) and learn from that, compare myself to it, see where i stand and whatnot...but it was nice to hear.
But my real problems are my fucking dreams...im so sick of them, they make me wake up in a bad, depressing mood, and haunt me the rest of the day. The only good one ive had the past week was this morning, which reminded me that if everyone i loved died today, or if i did, i want to make sure everyone knows how much i care about, or cared for them....because its the only "power" i have. But i think ive done a good job of that. My four pillars know who they are, or should anyways. Well time to continue the day with useless shit that makes me realize why i hate school....i want up north
Last night was fun, Jason and I watched Ronin Warriors and ate pizza. We decided that his virtue of prejudice and my despair can rule the world by making weeds....thats right, his strength coupled with my intelligence equals weeds!!! Bwahahaha, be covered in vines all those who oppose us!
So most should know whats goin on with me now and if not then ask me....i cant shake the feeling of impending doom, its like everytime im about to do something fun i expect a call to thwart all of it. Last thursday was my personal hell...i cant believe thatd id ever get that bad, but it happened. Luckily Jason came riding in on his white horse to save some of my sanity...but boy did i make the situation more awkward....free association is a dangerous thing, i started babbling things i had never even thought of before. But regardless its nice to have someone say and show me, demonstrate that i can truly count on them, after all, philosophy without action is useless. Heck, game night only happened because of him, and i needed it, and everyone had a good time, so it was a good suggestion. Fridays emergency room visit sucked ass, but im glad i made the difference for the better...but ive been too afraid to call and find out the details...ill call sometime before friday...hopefully. WAllyball/boozing was ok, considereing
So with that i must truly thank Jason for everything...the friendship, comradery, understanding, listening, and concern. I almost wish we could run away together lol...ALMOST. But really the way my head works i may have done some really stupid shit. The other person is Heather because from what i understand, you've done alot of the behind the scenes shit that have helped me for the better. I also enjoyed the chat on Sat night/Sun morning...its nice to hear someone in the same situation(s) and learn from that, compare myself to it, see where i stand and whatnot...but it was nice to hear.
But my real problems are my fucking dreams...im so sick of them, they make me wake up in a bad, depressing mood, and haunt me the rest of the day. The only good one ive had the past week was this morning, which reminded me that if everyone i loved died today, or if i did, i want to make sure everyone knows how much i care about, or cared for them....because its the only "power" i have. But i think ive done a good job of that. My four pillars know who they are, or should anyways. Well time to continue the day with useless shit that makes me realize why i hate school....i want up north