Strippin' for the Gold
I remember the first time I was taken to a strip club. It was1997, I was 19 years old. It was around lunch time and I had a 2-hour block of time open before my next class; Film & Aesthetics. As usual, I had rounded the corner of the student union to pop a squat and smoke some cigarettes at the “Zoo”. It was the entrance way into the student union with these concrete slabs that encased the measly trees that grow unnaturally in the desert. It was the tiny corner of campus that all the non-Greek’rs occupied. Most of the time you could take a seat and eventually someone you knew would drop by, smoke a cigarette with you, have a chat and move on. It was the social zenith of my freshman & sophomore years. By the middle of the 2nd semester, I had made more than my fair share of friends, one of which was this tall lanky skate boarder, Jack, whose charm was notorious for having girls drop traw and meow. Really. Luckily, I had been immune to his charm due to being in love with this skinny, strange creature whose pure love still astounds me to this day.
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah but I don’t have much money until next week.”
“S’alright, I got lunch.”
“Sweet, where’re we eating?”
“I’ll show you.”
Jack grabbed my bag & skated along side me as I tried to keep step. We found his little mouse car and took a right off of campus. As fate would have it, we parked in front of “Tens”. I had seen this building before, it was non-descript. A white exterior, no windows and just a sign, “TENS!” We walked around the side, the glass doors were black, no way to see in. As we got to the door, Jack looked down at me and smiled and said, “Boobs and burgers!” Like a true gentleman showing his lady the vault to his treasure he flung the door open. Quickly my pupils tried adjust to the semi-darkness of club, but the greens and blues of blurriness streaked across my vision. I could see in the back some lights, and erratic body movement. There was a u-shaped stage with 2-3 girls at a time working the poles topless. My jaw dropped, I gawked openly at the spectacles in the front, to the side and behind me. Most of the small tables were filled with men, alone. Most barely noticed me, and few barely blinked. We walked along side the booths near the left of the stage to my disbelief was a full service buffet.
“Whoa! Hold up!”
Jack, stopped and turned to look at me.
“What?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? What?””
He laughed and shrugged ever so cutely. I looked at this man-boy and realized he was testing me. That mother fucker!
“C’mon Vanessa.”
I stood there looking around; all these men had a ton of food on their tables dousing their fries with ketchup and shoving burgers down their throats, never missing an exposed breast. I was disturbed.
“You seriously want to eat here?” My voice must have gone up an octave because his smile was even bigger than before, near demonic.
“Sure thing, this place has the best lunch buffet in town! I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He raised one eye brow.
I’ve never backed down from a bully or from stupidity so why would I start now?
“Fine.” And I pushed past him.
We both got in line and started piling on food. I grabbed my cheeseburger, french fries, a Jello parfait and a Coke. I breezed by him scanning the room for a seat as far away from the stage as possibly. Luckily everyone else was crammed so close to the stage finding Siberia was easy. I saw a booth, in the back and made a bee line. Jack was right behind me, probably trying hard not to laugh. We both sat down, I was facing a bit away from the show.
“I think I need binoculars.”
I dropped some lettuce on my burger and said, “This better be the best fucking burger in town because I won’t be able to eat another burger for a long time.”
Laughter
I glance up, with ketchup oozing out of my burger and the smell of oily potatos, and see a woman with these mountainous bouncing orbs sauntering on over to us. She is wearing clear heels and a black thong bikini combo. She leans on over to Jack’s side and rubs up against him but stares at me.
“Anyone interested in a lap dance?”
I look to Jack expecting him to do something. But he is busy staring between me and her breasts. With my burger still half way to my mouth I attempt speech.
“Uh, well, um...I’m in the middle of lunch, but uhhhhh, well, I mean I might spill something, or uhh...”
“Oh hon don’t worry it’s painless, I promise.” And she walked right on up to me.
“You may want to put down that burger,”
I don’t actually remember putting down my burger but she turned my chair and started “strippin’”. I can honestly say that I was totally confused. On one hand I was grossed out by the way she smelled of watermelon lip gloss, hairspray and sweat and on the other hand I was totally fascinated by the way she was able to convulse and pulsate in such a way that it should have been ridiculous but was instead very beautiful. I wondered if she had real training, classically. I watched as she smiled at me sheepishly a few times when her hair was draped between us and Jack. She looked like she was saying, “God, can you believe this?” But then she would flip her black hair back and give Jack this come hither smile that caused all the blood to go South. I was gripping the edges of my seat in fear of making any sudden moves. She shimmied above me and pushed her breasts against mine in what I assumed was a finale. Finally, whatever song that was bumping out of the dodgy speakers began to wan into something else. She pulled back and smiled and said, “Thanks, I really needed to see a friendly face” and kissed me on the cheek. Like a true idiot I realized I owed her money & feebily fumbled for my money.
“On the house Hon.” She began to walk away when Jack jumped up quickly.
“Hey what about me?”
She turned and looked at him and said, “Minimum is $20 handsome.”
Since then I have gone a few more times. I think for a while it felt empowering to be able to take a hold of your sexuality and weld it like an trophy, but I’ve realized that a person’s sex, sexuality and gender are things that we all must consider each time we address a stranger as just body parts. I want to believe that the beautiful girl who gave me my first lap dance quit her job and is working some place where her sex, sexuality and gender are viewed through a lens of accomplishment and respect.
But y’know on occasion, I’d still go, after all sometimes a girl just needs to see a friendly face.
“Are you hungry?”
“Yeah but I don’t have much money until next week.”
“S’alright, I got lunch.”
“Sweet, where’re we eating?”
“I’ll show you.”
Jack grabbed my bag & skated along side me as I tried to keep step. We found his little mouse car and took a right off of campus. As fate would have it, we parked in front of “Tens”. I had seen this building before, it was non-descript. A white exterior, no windows and just a sign, “TENS!” We walked around the side, the glass doors were black, no way to see in. As we got to the door, Jack looked down at me and smiled and said, “Boobs and burgers!” Like a true gentleman showing his lady the vault to his treasure he flung the door open. Quickly my pupils tried adjust to the semi-darkness of club, but the greens and blues of blurriness streaked across my vision. I could see in the back some lights, and erratic body movement. There was a u-shaped stage with 2-3 girls at a time working the poles topless. My jaw dropped, I gawked openly at the spectacles in the front, to the side and behind me. Most of the small tables were filled with men, alone. Most barely noticed me, and few barely blinked. We walked along side the booths near the left of the stage to my disbelief was a full service buffet.
“Whoa! Hold up!”
Jack, stopped and turned to look at me.
“What?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? What?””
He laughed and shrugged ever so cutely. I looked at this man-boy and realized he was testing me. That mother fucker!
“C’mon Vanessa.”
I stood there looking around; all these men had a ton of food on their tables dousing their fries with ketchup and shoving burgers down their throats, never missing an exposed breast. I was disturbed.
“You seriously want to eat here?” My voice must have gone up an octave because his smile was even bigger than before, near demonic.
“Sure thing, this place has the best lunch buffet in town! I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He raised one eye brow.
I’ve never backed down from a bully or from stupidity so why would I start now?
“Fine.” And I pushed past him.
We both got in line and started piling on food. I grabbed my cheeseburger, french fries, a Jello parfait and a Coke. I breezed by him scanning the room for a seat as far away from the stage as possibly. Luckily everyone else was crammed so close to the stage finding Siberia was easy. I saw a booth, in the back and made a bee line. Jack was right behind me, probably trying hard not to laugh. We both sat down, I was facing a bit away from the show.
“I think I need binoculars.”
I dropped some lettuce on my burger and said, “This better be the best fucking burger in town because I won’t be able to eat another burger for a long time.”
Laughter
I glance up, with ketchup oozing out of my burger and the smell of oily potatos, and see a woman with these mountainous bouncing orbs sauntering on over to us. She is wearing clear heels and a black thong bikini combo. She leans on over to Jack’s side and rubs up against him but stares at me.
“Anyone interested in a lap dance?”
I look to Jack expecting him to do something. But he is busy staring between me and her breasts. With my burger still half way to my mouth I attempt speech.
“Uh, well, um...I’m in the middle of lunch, but uhhhhh, well, I mean I might spill something, or uhh...”
“Oh hon don’t worry it’s painless, I promise.” And she walked right on up to me.
“You may want to put down that burger,”
I don’t actually remember putting down my burger but she turned my chair and started “strippin’”. I can honestly say that I was totally confused. On one hand I was grossed out by the way she smelled of watermelon lip gloss, hairspray and sweat and on the other hand I was totally fascinated by the way she was able to convulse and pulsate in such a way that it should have been ridiculous but was instead very beautiful. I wondered if she had real training, classically. I watched as she smiled at me sheepishly a few times when her hair was draped between us and Jack. She looked like she was saying, “God, can you believe this?” But then she would flip her black hair back and give Jack this come hither smile that caused all the blood to go South. I was gripping the edges of my seat in fear of making any sudden moves. She shimmied above me and pushed her breasts against mine in what I assumed was a finale. Finally, whatever song that was bumping out of the dodgy speakers began to wan into something else. She pulled back and smiled and said, “Thanks, I really needed to see a friendly face” and kissed me on the cheek. Like a true idiot I realized I owed her money & feebily fumbled for my money.
“On the house Hon.” She began to walk away when Jack jumped up quickly.
“Hey what about me?”
She turned and looked at him and said, “Minimum is $20 handsome.”
Since then I have gone a few more times. I think for a while it felt empowering to be able to take a hold of your sexuality and weld it like an trophy, but I’ve realized that a person’s sex, sexuality and gender are things that we all must consider each time we address a stranger as just body parts. I want to believe that the beautiful girl who gave me my first lap dance quit her job and is working some place where her sex, sexuality and gender are viewed through a lens of accomplishment and respect.
But y’know on occasion, I’d still go, after all sometimes a girl just needs to see a friendly face.