to-do list for a merry soul
Social life, what is it good for, now that I've found Netflix and Peapod home delivery?
With the season of good will, and Noel coming upon us, I realize a couple of things:
-My birthday is coming up, I will be 29 years old. This depresses me a bit because I am still
barely getting somewhere, and even that is a murky pool of expectation.
-I've got to get my education aspirations under control. I have to revert my brain to student mentality again. I must fear my grades instead of loathe the entire process. It is going to take some time.
-I am in the midst of learning about sustainable living communities and Native American land laws for a possible future project. I have to buckle down and purchase a plethora of books and start creating an outline. This ties in with the education buckling. Shit, this ties in with my entire state of world view affairs and local community and how we live in times that are horribly tragic.
-Now that I have a place to start printing photos again, I have to go out and take photos. I have been neglect in the celluloid process for the last 5 years. Digital has made me lazy and ineffectual as a visual artist. I am a glutton for excess when it comes to photography. If it don't look good delete it. That seems like wasted effort. So, I have an old SLR camera that runs on batteries, old school watch-like batteries and has no memory drive. It is going to be nice to beholden to what's within the frame and to actually consider before clicking.
-Someone I know from back home is starting a Native Writing magazine and has called for submission of all sorts of writing: poetry, fiction, non-fiction, prose, plays etc. I have some stories that I've touched on over the years in my blog and realize that this medium has served me as a way to be creative without having to challenge myself. If I continue on writing in my blog(s) I must also require from myself some real output. It is a shame and a sham that I've not been honest in my writings and completing the process.
-Just like my writing has been shafted, so has my filmmaking. I've been slowly putting together this new short experimental piece, but have allowed myself to be waylaid by social entertainments and people. I've been very irresponsible and needy.
-I must save some money. I've been blowing my cash like a bad cocaine habit. How am I going to be able to afford my new hard drive for my computer and my trip to NYC next month if I can't stop spending? I must make some new rules about my cash to mouth problem.
-Finally, it's the holiday season. I used to pretend to hate the holiday season, but the truth is I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS. I love making Thanksgiving Dinner. I've become an excellent turkeyteer. Really, I should win contests for how sweet, supple and succulent those birds turn out. I make great pies and I know how to knead some bread. I love decorating the Christmas tree. I love going out and buying Xmas cards. I really love shopping for gifts. I love drinking Gulag in heated mugs with friends while the snow softly comes down outside. I love the idea of ice skating, but I don't do it. I love the idea that we become more patient, kind & giving. What I love the most is that I get to spend time with the people I love. Because of all of this, the holidays require that I start adding up my deficiencies and make payments to it. The better person I become the better person I can be for everyone else.
Now, who has no where to go for Turkey Day? If you need a place, you are welcome in my home. I will be attempting pumpkin bread pudding and cranberry hash. Come! You can sleep on my floor and eat your way to breakfast.
With the season of good will, and Noel coming upon us, I realize a couple of things:
-My birthday is coming up, I will be 29 years old. This depresses me a bit because I am still
barely getting somewhere, and even that is a murky pool of expectation.
-I've got to get my education aspirations under control. I have to revert my brain to student mentality again. I must fear my grades instead of loathe the entire process. It is going to take some time.
-I am in the midst of learning about sustainable living communities and Native American land laws for a possible future project. I have to buckle down and purchase a plethora of books and start creating an outline. This ties in with the education buckling. Shit, this ties in with my entire state of world view affairs and local community and how we live in times that are horribly tragic.
-Now that I have a place to start printing photos again, I have to go out and take photos. I have been neglect in the celluloid process for the last 5 years. Digital has made me lazy and ineffectual as a visual artist. I am a glutton for excess when it comes to photography. If it don't look good delete it. That seems like wasted effort. So, I have an old SLR camera that runs on batteries, old school watch-like batteries and has no memory drive. It is going to be nice to beholden to what's within the frame and to actually consider before clicking.
-Someone I know from back home is starting a Native Writing magazine and has called for submission of all sorts of writing: poetry, fiction, non-fiction, prose, plays etc. I have some stories that I've touched on over the years in my blog and realize that this medium has served me as a way to be creative without having to challenge myself. If I continue on writing in my blog(s) I must also require from myself some real output. It is a shame and a sham that I've not been honest in my writings and completing the process.
-Just like my writing has been shafted, so has my filmmaking. I've been slowly putting together this new short experimental piece, but have allowed myself to be waylaid by social entertainments and people. I've been very irresponsible and needy.
-I must save some money. I've been blowing my cash like a bad cocaine habit. How am I going to be able to afford my new hard drive for my computer and my trip to NYC next month if I can't stop spending? I must make some new rules about my cash to mouth problem.
-Finally, it's the holiday season. I used to pretend to hate the holiday season, but the truth is I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS. I love making Thanksgiving Dinner. I've become an excellent turkeyteer. Really, I should win contests for how sweet, supple and succulent those birds turn out. I make great pies and I know how to knead some bread. I love decorating the Christmas tree. I love going out and buying Xmas cards. I really love shopping for gifts. I love drinking Gulag in heated mugs with friends while the snow softly comes down outside. I love the idea of ice skating, but I don't do it. I love the idea that we become more patient, kind & giving. What I love the most is that I get to spend time with the people I love. Because of all of this, the holidays require that I start adding up my deficiencies and make payments to it. The better person I become the better person I can be for everyone else.
Now, who has no where to go for Turkey Day? If you need a place, you are welcome in my home. I will be attempting pumpkin bread pudding and cranberry hash. Come! You can sleep on my floor and eat your way to breakfast.